Diary of an explorer

[Higher]

Last thought: are you doing online too or only daygame?

You prob know this already, but online might offer better odds if youre looking for dtf girls.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

First of all, it might be interesting to post these as separate FRs along with a transcription of the live interactions and get the forums feedback.

(Heck, id even link the audio files since you record your sets.)

I don't record all the times, generally if I go through my day I don't keep a recorder with a mic with me, if I go specifically out to approach I may do it, so I can't say I remember exactly what I say in every interaction.

This is a reason why I don't post these as field reports. A lot of them are short too, so it's very little to write in order to get a feel of what's happening. I think I'd need someone to really see them to understand what is the main issue in these few minutes.

i would drastically cut back on emojis, compliments and rapport-seeking behavior, especially if the girl is not doing much to earn it (= chasing); both via text and in person

I can hear that. The main reason I use emojis is to raise attainability a bit, especially if they use them too, and not to feel stone cold and serious via text, since they can't see my facial expressions when I write the message.

Same thing with rapport building, I used to go directly to a date offer, or to tease more, but I felt something was missing, so I decided starting to feel more real to them and that I indeed want to get to know them. My vibe is that they look interesting so I obviously want to see if they are, and I have to get to know them for that.

Regarding the compliments I won't disagree. I generally approach with something direct because I like it more, and feel I am hiding things if I don't, when they clearly know why I am stopping them. Also I consider it an authentic expression of what I feel, I can't explain it but I don't generally compliment in a chasing way expecting to get something back, it's just if I find her hot I will tell her.

I don't mind changing things up or experimenting, I still haven't found what other way would work for me exactly though. The reason I ended up doing these things is exactly because it felt that my interactions were getting more solid and not just all playful fun that leads nowhere.

id go radio-silent between 7pm and 9am, as your time is precious;

Also had this rule in the past. Then started wondering how much sense it makes, since honestly with a normal job you are more busy the whole day until 5-6 pm. It feels even weirder to be sending messages during this time.

So I decided to get flexible and just send messages whenever I feel like it, calibrating to the girl a bit. Not sure how bad that looks. It is something I have been experimenting with to not keep my texting extremely rigid.

id avoid 19-min long interview calls (or calls in general); if you really wanna have a call, just chit-chat, keep it very light and fun (no deep dives, very minimal rapport), and gracefully exit after a couple minutes;

Yeah I don't even do calls generally, it was the only time it happened, and I wanted to see how it would go. I agree with you about the length, I tried to keep frame and be very masculine with my voice and expressions there so it was an exercise for that too.

id follow Skills texting process more closely

I have checked it, I have tried to follow it, but it feels extra incongruent with my vibe. I can experiment going fully that way for a while to really see how it will be, I simply felt that I seem extra playerish and most girls just don't respond well.

It probably has to do with how our interaction is when I approach. Which makes me feel I should start getting extra teasing and playful again maybe. The thing is I received backlash when I went that way in the past, and even the times the reactions were good the girls didn't really take me seriously and exchanged contacts/came out to meet.

I should try it more again though, since I feel I am getting too comfort and attainability focused and not enough attraction and arousal focused, to find the middle ground.

In general, i think the frame should be more "shes dying to meet me" rather than the opposite. And to increase the odds of this happening, you need a great in-person presentation first and foremost (i dont know how you present yourself).

I agree with that. And I really don't die to meet any of them, I simply try to follow a texting process that I feel will get me the date with the highest probability. It is a work in progress, not even sure how much the texting even matters eventually, but at least I am trying to make it work as well as I can.

Of course the in-person interaction is what mostly matters though. I guess I have to at some point get someone to really look at me and tell me what to focus on, because it's never easy to look at yourself from the inside and figure out why exactly something is not working.

Also, not sure if you addressed this already, but whats your target demo, 30+? (Tough demo if you ask me.)

I don't have a target demo really. I approach any girl I find hot enough, have gone up to girls that told me they are 14 ( and of course left ), and to girls that told me they are 50.

It's just that the 30+ are the ones that respond better to me consistently. At least up front. It's a bit of mess trying to actually lay them and do it fast, because a lot of them talk about wanting to get to know you more before doing anything, and wanting someone they can really connect well with and all that.

But still the vast majority of my lays, and even the girls I didn't lay but went far enough with, are above 30. Probably has something to do with my vibe, I get usually called more mature than my age and people think I am older. Which is an issue because it gets these 30+ women to be receptive initially, but when they learn the real age they start thinking I am not in the same life phase they are and I have to reframe how I enjoy the moment and what matters is how you feel with someone and following this. It surely feels a lot of times though, that they are looking for something more serious and trying to bed them fast is borderline tiring.

Regarding clothes, yeah feel free to post a pic if thats best for you. Here, or better in the FRs, if youre gonna write em.

Will look into it later in the day. Not sure about the field reports because I don't have enough about these initial interactions, especially these ones from 2 weeks ago I barely remember.

Would actually be nice to see a video of your interactions. Do you have a wingman that can help you set something up?

That would be interesting indeed, haven't done that. I usually go out solo, there is an old friend though that started getting into cold approach so if I we go out and discuss about it, the video could work.

Last thought: are you doing online too or only daygame?

You prob know this already, but online might offer better odds if youre looking for dtf girls.

I'm basically open to anything that can bring me girls.

I have accounts in probably all the dating apps available and check them regularly, but I get less than 5 matches per month in all of them combined. Out of them maybe 1-2 per month would be girls that the chat starts going somewhere, like the one I mentioned here for last Tuesday, and every few months I may get a date from online.

So obviously I don't base anything on it and focus on daygame, or even nightgame street approaches. I like it more anyway because of the quality of girls and the freedom to go after who I want, wouldn't mind some easy sex from online though.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Not totally seduction related update, but it seems I found a job. Will be pretty introductory for the first year with fairly low salary, but with the possibility to get a permanent position in the end reaching six figures.

It relaxes me quite a bit, because it puts my life somehow in order and lets me plan the next years better, since it also lets me stay in the country I am in now. So a number of background worries won't be there anymore.

Also I am supposed to start almost a month from now, so I have quite some time to enjoy the summer. And this is where seduction gets in.

I feel it's the perfect opportunity to go hard at it without many worries and with a bunch of free time, so I started thinking how I should approach it.

I can surely spend a lot of time approaching now, maybe going to some vacation spot and talking to girls day and night would makes sense?

The thing is I know my issue is not the anxiety, and can approach a lot, so the important part is how to improve my seductions as much as I can, what to focus on.

I was even thinking of taking a bootcamp, but I am wondering how much it is worth it to spend few thousands for 2-3 days with a coach.

It would surely be interesting to see someone that good with women in real life and experience how he makes it work, that said I know that in a lot of these they focus on the very basics. It seems they can be effective if you have approach anxiety and need someone to push you to take action, but not sure how much I will gain out of them as someone who approaches regularly.

Also maybe there is a more effective way to spend all this money to improve my seduction skills, can't say for sure, maybe online coaching or some other form of investment I can't think of. It's not like I have too much money to spend either, but felt it is a good chance now that I am free.

I'll think about it a bit more, maybe I'll make a post in the general forum later, describing my situation and skill level and asking for recommendations for these next weeks.

For anyone who reads this though, all opinions are welcome.