Fight deep approach inhibition in a small town vs. a city? (Inter-continental travels!)


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Nov 14, 2017
TL;DR:    Iʼve come temporarily to a town of 14,000, but will soon move to a city of 1.7  million, full  of my type. Is  it worth spending  time trying  to overcome deep‑rooted approach  inhibition while Iʼm here in  this town, or should  I  forget girls here, allowing me to move quicker?


Two  months ago, I  fled my Western nation, due  to the Westʼs increasing political extremism. (Stay  tuned for follow‑up in the “something  bigger than COVID” thread.) I  wound  up temporarily in Central  America, in a town of 14,000  people.

I  could stay here indefinitely, but the plan is to continue  on to Kampala, a city of 1.7  million in Uganda. I  really want  to live  in East  Africa. But there  are some things I  need  to handle first, which Iʼm trying to do from my temporary home here in Central  America.


I  spent two  decades avoiding women, for various stupid and deluded reasons. Smartened  up and came  to a solid understanding, but unfortunately an introverted nature compounded by many years of near‑total avoidance left  me with debilitating approach  inhibition.

In my home  city, the inhibition was exacerbated by my obstinate desire to touch nothing  but black women, who make  up not  even  10% of my cityʼs females. Looking  at 90% of the women around  you as  though they donʼt  even have a pussy, makes approaching the remainder really  intimidating. I  would spend a whole day at a busy megamall, around thousands  of women and hundreds  of black women, yet only manage  to approach one  or  two. Over  time those one  or  two cumulatively did get  me laid, but it  took forever, which led  to fatal performance  anxiety.

Opening up to other races would have been a logical solution, but I  wasnʼt  having  it at  all, so instead I  decided to move to a  city where most  of the women are black, anyway.

Alas, practicality kept that on the back  burner for several years, until finally a draconian vaccine mandate trumped practicality.

Opening Up

As for Central  America, I  was not expecting to fancy the chicks here; I  had assumed they mostly  all had the stereotypical Latina look. But I  was  wrong!

For one, girls that are at  least part-black are a way  larger fraction than in my home  city. Most are mixed, but these can  be quite beautiful, especially mixtures with the Mezzo‑American “natives.” I  also happen to be in a pocket where those natives themselves are still quite common: the  Maya, who built all  those crazy pyramid temples. Some even speak  Maya! Well, I  thought I  only liked black  girls, until I  saw Maya  chicks.

And so I  am now open to a fairly large chunk of the women around  me — a stark contrast to my home  city!

I  still love African women way more. And there are other advantages to living  in Kampala. So I  donʼt plan to stay in Central  America indefinitely. But Iʼd really like  to sleep  with some girls  here while  Iʼm  here.

Iʼm almost as exotic to these Central  American chicks as they  are to  me, and Iʼve caught some noticing  me. A  couple even coyly said  “hi” after  they saw  me looking. Oh,  man, so  much potential!

I  initially figured that my newfound openness would ease the approach  inhibition. To  that  end, I  asked myself to look  at even Mestiza, the least  exotic chicks common  here.

I  also did a very good thing from day  one: I  made a  point to greet people on the street. I  come from a very introverted city, so this was quite alien for  me, but Iʼve been doing  it anyway. Back  home, I  usually didnʼt have the balls, but here it  is not as difficult. Not  that people  here greet all  the  time, but they also donʼt have this stunned, “oh,  my  God, this random  guy is talking  to  me”  look. I  made a  point to randomly greet people because it would make  it more natural to randomly greet women.

As a result, I  have randomly greeted more attractive chicks here in  one  month than I  did in several years back  home.

Alas, this has not led to actually hitting  on chicks. It has just moved the inhibition from step  1 to step  2. Iʼve planned some good routines, but after wandering around for hours on a  number of occasions, so  far I  havenʼt been able to push  myself to even take  it past a  mere greeting.

Motivation is certainly not the issue. I  decided not  to masturbate in Africa, and so  far I  havenʼt masturbated in Central  America, either.

So I  havenʼt had orgasm in three months, which is making me badly want to fuck the locals. The  other  day I  was checking  out a hot Maya chick, and the  thought of putting a baby in  her made  me hard right  there in the store! I  kept trying to approach, but somehow in  spite  of intense desire, the inhibition still won. Itʼs driving  me out  of my  mind!

Population Problems

I  think I  know why the vast increase in the fraction of women I  like has  not relaxed the inhibition much: 50%  of 7,000  chicks is actually a much  smaller number than 7%  of a  million  chicks! This  is partly why Kampala is still a priority: 60%  of 825,000  chicks is a number vastly  larger than either  of  those!

Going from my home city to this little town, my opportunity frequency actually hasnʼt changed much. Iʼve  just traded seeing many chicks I  donʼt  like for seeing fewer  chicks. Both here and back  home, it takes several minutes to run  into one  chick I  like.

For contrast, I  have seen Go  Pro videos of downtown Kampala streets. In  one, I  counted two  hundred  and  eighty at‑least  fuckable chicks in  29  minutes. That is a degree of abundance that neither my home  city nor this little Central  American town even  begins to approach.

And then thereʼs the reduced anonymity. Coming from a major city, I  feel less safe here to hit  on a woman randomly. Almost  like the whole  town is watching  me.

Of course, thatʼs just the inhibition talking. Just  like it talks when thereʼs more  than  one chick together. Or a  cop nearby. Or when the opener I  had in  mind all  of  a  sudden seems dumb. Or when the girl ahead  of  me turns down some small street and itʼs going  to seem creepy if I  do, too. Or when the girl looks young and I  donʼt know how  to deduce a  girlʼs age here.

I  do suspect population affects inhibition. A  few years ago I  visited a  country where I  also kind  of liked the female aesthetics, and in  spite  of spending far  less time there, with almost  no day  game experience, no sexual experience, and a language barrier, I  actually managed to do one day  game cold  approach. Well, thatʼs one  more than Iʼve done here, even  after vastly  more time spent trying and much  better preparation. But that was a  city of a  million, whereas this is a town of 14,000.

The frustrating thing is, there are enough women I  like here, and Iʼm exotic enough to  them, that I  could get pussy easily — if  only I  would approach. Likewise, I  could get pussy easily in my home  city, even in  spite  of only going  for a minority — if  only I  would approach.

Other Problems

  • In this town Iʼm in, facemasks have to be worn even outdoors, and theyʼre strict about  it, so compliance is high. That really limits subtle body  language. In my home  city, I  found that facemasks vastly amplified my inhibition. (The  Western  publicʼs overall COVID  paranoia was no  doubt also  a  factor.) Kampala, by  contrast, has had some mask mandates, but last I  checked, compliance was fairly  low.

  • Most of the approaches Iʼve ever done in  past have been in shopping malls or supermarkets. But stores here are typically small, cramped, and watched closely by the owner, so Iʼve felt  it wiser to try to do street approaching, but this is quite unfamiliar to  me. Street  approaching will probably be preferable in Africa, too, so I  need  to get used  to  it.

  • Chicks on bicycles are a challenge — especially when theyʼre passing from  behind, — and I  see  them regularly  here.

These are things I  need to play with, but playing is hard when youʼre so inhibited. Missing  skills in  turn only add  back to the inhibition. It doesnʼt  help that clear opportunities to play are only sporadic, not rapid‑fire.

A Difficult Choice

Iʼm really torn right now. On one hand, I  desire the chicks here, and being closed‑off sexually isnʼt healthy. On  the other  hand, I  am afraid that I  will just spin  my  wheels — as  I  did for  years back  home — just wandering around chickening  out.

To be clear, Iʼm moving regardless. The question is whether to just focus on the move totally, or continue  to devote a portion of my time to wandering around the town trying to push  myself to approach chicks here. Doing  so consumes significant time that would  have made the move happen sooner, so there is a trade‑off between reaching Kampala faster but ignoring women in  the meantime, or not  ignoring women, but taking longer to be surrounded by much  larger numbers of  them.

In part it depends on timing: the longer Iʼll be here, the more important it  is to try to get sex here.

Iʼd guess I  may be here anywhere from 1  to 5  months. It will tend towards the longer  end if I  keep trying to approach. It  also depends on how  well I  put my ducks in  a  row before I  venture to Kampala. A  cautious strategy could be many months; “Just  do  it,” could happen in a  few weeks or  so, if I  stop trying to chase  tail  here.

Itʼs worth noting that, girls aside, I  am frequently running into needless practical hiccups from living here instead  of Kampala. Well, blowing  time wandering around chickening  out is prolonging these irritating and wasteful situations.

“Just approach the chicks you happen to see incidentally,” is a suggestion I  expect may come  up, because itʼs logical and low-cost. Unfortunately, approach  inhibition is far  too entrenched in  me for  that to work. In  my experience, I  can only push  myself to approach on lengthy outings where I  am completely focussed on doing  so. More positive experiences may fix  that, but not in the short  term.

I  would hate to significantly delay my move to Africa over Central  American pussy, only  to not get  any anyway because I  couldnʼt shake the approach  inhibition with such limited population.

So, what do you think? Keep spending time pushing myself to approach here? Or just focus on moving sooner? Any  other suggestions or feedback also welcome. Thanks  for  reading!


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Jun 13, 2016
I  kept trying to approach, but somehow in  spite  of intense desire, the inhibition still won. Itʼs driving  me out  of my  mind!
“Just approach the chicks you happen to see incidentally,” is a suggestion I  expect may come  up, because itʼs logical and low-cost. Unfortunately, approach  inhibition is far  too entrenched in  me for  that to work. In  my experience, I  can only push  myself to approach on lengthy outings where I  am completely focussed on doing  so. More positive experiences may fix  that, but not in the short  term.
Hi @ThePhoenix

Do you have the time to do more 'lenthy outings' before moving, where you can get some approaches in?

What is your process during lengthy outings that makes you more likely to approach and have less approach anxiety?