Gameboy's Journal

[StrayDog]

So what's the fit for 25-35?

that's actually a pretty big age range. and of course demographic is also going to be a bit more than age. So if there is a certain type you are going for, you well want to adjust for that type. Fitness girls, academic girls, science girls, artsy girls, classy girls. The thing with being a seducer is you don't have to fit exactly into her type, as long as you dress sexy (read, a little bit of edge and very well curated) and are within a reasonable range.

But in terms of age genZ has somewhat more casual style than Millennials. Baggier clothes for Gen z, a little more form fitting for millennial. More cropped shirts for Genz. Genz more sneakers, millennial more boots. Genz boots are more Doc Martins style then Millenial Chelsea. Genz more t shirts, millennial more button ups.

Gen z is way more streetwear, Millenials more of a classics kind of vibe.

Even with millennials I'd drop using skinny jeans. straight cuts, loose cuts, boot cuts. The skinny jeans and Chelsea boots you would see on mid 2000s PUA is super dated.

obviously this is all on spectrum. What's most crucial it's getting good ratios on the way the clothes fit. Pant and shirt length, sleeve length.

Get a dynamic match on the shirt and shoes and build the rest of the fit around that.

Here is something that will elevate your fashion immediately. Figure out your skin tone and pick colors that flatter it. This is a game changer.

And of course, sexy style is always going to have a touch of casualness to it.


this post has a pick of a fit like the one Skills has been rocking
Post in thread 'The Power of the Slow Walk' https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-power-of-the-slow-walk.30316/post-188009

He swears by going baggy to get the younger women.

Google Genz fashion Drip. gotta get that drip (that's what Genz calls it). Or better yet, follow some genz fashion influencers on Instagram.

For Gen z more medium length hair. Or Medium length with fade on sides. Hair a little bit 'messier'. Mullet. Mustache with 5 o'clock shadow. I've been rocking a vandyke with the sides of my beard faded and that's been getting some good results. For millennial long hair, or a tight fade, and a short beard for facial hair.

I only really have a fit I rock in the field right now, but It is amazing the difference in response I get when my fit is hitting that sweet spot, compared to when it's not.

It takes some time and experimentation, but It's so worth it to get at least one or two fits you know you can reliably hook with.

 

[gameboy]

but consider thinking holistically about your life

Makes a lot of sense.

I'm not going to lay out my whole life situation here, for privacy reasons. But yes I've reached many of the major goals I set myself in life. Most of them, in fact. But not all.

Am I happy about that? Of course! But isn't it part of human nature, that once we reach a goal, we may rest for a while and bask in the glory. Sooner or later though, we will start to yearn for something new.

At the end of the day, does success need to come from a cold approach?

Well, if you're referring to "relationship success", I guess it doesn't really matter where I meet the girl. But it's been years since I met a girl I found truly hot through social circle. (That's a fun story in itself. When I met that girl, I was already with the ex. My ex somehow found out I liked her and was jealous of her ever since, even though I never did anything with the girl.

I got one chance to hit on her shortly after I was single again. It was at a mutual friend's birthday party, and the girl was also invited and sat next to me at dinner. I took my shot but I messed it up completely. Instead of seducing her, I just treated her like I would have if she already were my girlfriend. Because that's just what I was used to, after 6 years in an LTR. I had pretty much forgotten how to flirt. My crush played along for a while, but at some point it seems she just lost interest and talked to other people instead. I did ask her out awkwardly at the end of the night, but she politely turned me down. Haven't seen her since. One more reason to learn game! Today, I would have played that situation completely differently.)

As for social circle, I'm pretty happy with it currently, but historically it's always been a come and go. Being an expat myself, I tend to make mainly expat friends, and many of them inevitably leave town sooner or later. Others marry, settle down, have kids or whatever, and drop out for that reason. So there are times when my social circle is great, and other times when it's a bit slim and most of my best friends are in far away countries or even continents. But like I said, right now it's looking pretty good and it seems like I'm meeting cool new people pretty frequently. -- Thinking about it, maybe this is also a positive effect of having been doing cold approach?

So sure, maybe I'll meet a hot girl that way. But I'm also a stubborn son of a bitch and being able to approach and ideally seduce whoever I want has long been a dream of mine. I may have gotten started late, but I'm treating this (and this journal) as an experiment. Like it used to say in my signature... is it possible to learn this stuff at 50? We will see!

JOURNAL ENTRY
Yesterday I went out at night. Got a bit more drunk than I planned to. Had a few beers plus got invited to shots by a female friend, I tried to decline but she wouldn't let me lol.

The venue was rather small, but it was packed and the music so loud that talking was difficult. Still danced with a few girls and tried to mack on one or two. Not much success but it was worth trying.

There was only one girl in the club that I thought was really hot. I caught her checking me out at one point, so I smiled at her and took her hand to spin her around. She smiled and complied once or twice, and we danced for just a few seconds. Then she made some gesture like she had to go and ran off.

A while later, she reopened me asking me whether I knew how to score some coke. Crap. I don't do that shit, so I told her I have no idea. And gone she was. Some other dude got her who presumably had better connections.

BTW - Any night gamer reading this have an idea how to deal with this kind of situation? I'd assume that if she's on a mission to score drugs then I don't stand a chance if I don't have any. But maybe some of you hardcore night gamers have successfully dealt with this situation in the past? If so let me know.

Still had a lot of fun even though I didn't really get any chicks, but I had a good time and at least I danced and tried with a few. I did write a note in my phone at the end of the night though reminding myself to be 10x more aggressive. (I mean aggression here as in going for the girls you want, not as in being violent or coercive).

CHANNELING AGGRESSION
I saw that note today and reflected on it. I think there is a lot of wisdom in channeling your aggression into a positive path. I.e. do the approach, instead of holding back. Show your intent, instead of beating around the bush. I still don't do this enough. Worth remembering.

TODAY's APPROACHES
Today I was quite hung over, and a bit anxious or in a down mood again due to not getting enough sleep. Still I did 4 approaches, they didn't go very deep, but four is more than I've done on most days so far. Three of the approaches were 2F sets, one of which got ignored, the other one gave me a friendly but short reply then went back to her friend, and the third gave me a surprisingly sweet answer but she was walking with what seemed to be her mother (and her dog) so not the best chances to hook there. The one girl I approached who was by herself ignored me, then when I followed up gave me only the barest of nods. So I left it.

So the girl with the dog was last, and also the best approach I thought beacuse I didn't expect such a sweet response at all. Which taught me that even in situations where you think you have no chance, you should still try anyway.

Also I'm glad I got to the magic number of four despite being tired and hungover.

 

[gameboy]

Opened 4 girls today trying out AspiringStoic's method. Worked really well for me. None hooked, but I opened them without any AA to speak of.

Got the 4 approaches in way before sunset. Maybe I could have done more, but I decided to take a coffee break, and also had to go back home to grab a jacket. Then when I went back out I had kinda lost my momentum.

I also decided to take @funkyjam's advice about social circle seriously. I've been so fixated on day game that I may have neglected SC a bit during the last year, but I believe it's better to have an equilibrium.

This worked extremely well instantly! After coming home I decided to head out again to a nearby bar where I hoped to run into 1 or 2 friends. Instead I ran into like 7 lol. And I even met some new people. One HB excitedly introduced herself to me and told me she had seen me on the bike but didn't know my name. Unfortunately turns out she had a BF there. The guy was cool though and I chatted with both a bit (more with the girl). Also met some other cool new people there as well. Seems like a place worth going to more often in the evenings.

Now this journal is about day game and not so much about SC, so I'll probably not be reporting much about SC in the future. Unless some HB shows up there that I can make something happen with. Just wanted to point out that @funkyjam's advice was really helpful and already showed some good results. Same as @AspiringStoic's. You guys rock!

 

[gameboy]

Just wanted to do a quick update, since it's been a while. I'm still going out approaching, though I'm not getting huge volumes recently. The weather is bad and there aren't many hot tourist girls around.

Today I did one serious approach with a hot girl I had seen sunbathing before on the beach. I thought about whether to approach her, but decided there's too many families with kids in her immediate vicinity and went somewhere else. Didn't find any good prospects there either, so went back and just as I arrived the girl was leaving. I approached her frontally and asked whether she'd been swimming. I had to repeat the question in English since she didn't understand. Then she said "Oh no, just sunbathing" in a rather non-enthusiastic way, and walked off. Well at least I tried.

Did another situational opener with an older woman, just because she happened to be nearby. Led nowhere really, she was heading back to her friend/kid/partner or whatever.

Then later in the city center saw a 2 set of pretty, but very dolled up, girls and threw them a compliment as they walked by. Got no reaction. Typical for a 2-set, anyway it wasn't a serious approach since they were a bit over the top for me. Would have been nice to get a reaction though.

Social circle wise I'm doing pretty good. I'm going to bars and meeting new people there quite a lot. Maybe not every day, but hardly a week goes by where I'm not making one or more new acquaintances. Guys as well as girls. Best place by far is this bar near my house were people are drinking all afternoon. It's mainly outside, so I can just pass by multiple times a day and chat with people if I feel like it.

Everyone is super chill and talkative. My neighbour (a woman about my age) goes there, and also a musician friend I've known for years. The musician especially seems to know everyone and their mom, and I'm meeting lots of new people with him. But I also open people by myself when the occasion arises. I rarely drink alcohol though, at most I get a coffee or a water.

Oh and at least two girls (women, maybe fits it better) have thrown themselves at me. As in, literally. Unfortunately just the less attractive ones. One just threw her arms around me and tried to kiss me. It was late, and she was probably drunk. I turned my head away and just hugged her. She was in a weird state of mind though, seemed to be arguing with some other guys before, and after I wouldn't kiss her she started arguing with me too. I just ignored her, and later she got pulled aside by someone who knew her and they walked her home. Another girl I'd talked to some weeks prior had told me she's quite schizophrenic. I didn't believe it at the time, but maybe she meant it literally.

Another, a bit chubby, one day just came up to me excitedly and rubbed her boobs against me. She told me to come with her since she wanted to "show me something". This was in broad daylight. Either she was drunk real early, or just naturally crazy... or maybe both lol. I didn't go with her beacuse I had my bike parked right there and it wasn't locked. So I may have missed a chance for some fun... but hey she isn't really hot. Fun girl, but... nah... maybe if I was drunk myself. Another reason not to drink, haha.

She pulled up her shirt in the end and showed me her cleavage (was wearing a bra though). Good thing about the thick ones is they have nice boobs Then she just sort of turned away and talked to someone else, or maybe someone else talked to her, can't remember.

So yeah, I seem to have an easy time with the crazy ones lol. Now thinking about it, most women I've been with have been at least a little crazy... and I'm just half kidding here

It's impressive how much easier it is in social circle. By the law of statistics, I would assume an attractive girl should appear sooner or later and throw herself at me... or at least give me a chance.

Meanwhile I'm going to keep improving my fundamentals and social skills. I definitely still plan to master (or at least become decent at) cold approach. So I'm keeping at it.

Glad to have done 3 approaches today. Will let you guys know once my results get a bit better.

 

[gameboy]

After walking around for hours today, I was walking home and spotted an attractive girl sitting on a bench and eating. So I made what was to be my only approach of the day and said "Enjoy your meal" to her. She gave me a huge smile but didn't respond (probably was chewing). I just walked on! Never expected such a good reaction. With such a huge smile I should have definitely engaged her more!

That's what happens when I'm not properly warmed up. But the weather was again bad today and I legit didn't see any interesting girls all day before that one. Damn.

At least I made the approach. My first instinct was just to keep walking since I was tired, but I found her really attractive so I crossed the street anyway. Gotta give myself credit for that.

When I approached she was facing away from me, but as I crossed the street she turned towards me even before I spoke, so she noticed me right away. I was honestly surprised to get a positive reaction.

This gives me hope. I've been racking up too many rejections recently. Got to internalize that yes, there are definitely hot girls out there that like me to approach them and would love to talk to me!

 

[gameboy]

Today's approaches:

First one was just a "hi" to a pretty but rather young girl I came across turning a corner. I saw her last second and said hi, but she was past me too fast and I didn't see a reaction.

Second one: A girl that overtook me on her bike. She wasn't going that much faster than me, so I enjoyed her rear view for a while and she had a damn fine ass in black leggins. When we reached a traffic light I stopped next to her and said "damn you're fast!" she was like "what?" so I repeated. She just gave me a polite little laugh and then looked away. I persisted and said "Must be your bike, eh?" - She said "what?" again, so I rephrased, "I guess it's your bike!" Again just a short laugh. I took that as a "not interested" so I left it even though there were a few seconds of red light left.

Third one, a 2 set of girls with coffee cups in their hands. This was on the sea shore, walking. I asked them where they got their coffees from, one of them laughed and told me "oh some shop way back over there". I realized I found neither one attractive so I just made some comment and then went on my way.

Chickened out on one girl that was sitting by herself in the evening. She was next to some kind of party with music (also on the beach) so I found it harder than if there'd been more space around her. I walked by and checked her out, she wasn't bad looking but also quite young for me but must have been at least 20 I would assume. She didn't belong to the party group though. She gave me a look at some point, but it was neutral. In the end I didn't approach. Regretted it later since I didn't see any other single girls that day.

 

[gameboy]

First hook in a long while. I haven't been approaching much recently, mainly because the weather was shit and there weren't that many eligible girls around.

Weather is finally getting better, so it's time to get back into it. Today I did 2 approaches. The first one hooked really nicely?

FIRST OPEN

I was lying on the beach minding my own business, when I saw a girl sit down maybe 3 meters behind me. Checked her out from the corner of my eye, and she was pretty attractive. Slim, good figure, nice long hair, cute face. Lots of tats on her arms, but they looked quite stylish.

At one point our eyes met, and we smiled at each other. That was a clear IOI so I opened situational about how the sun is about to go, how nice it is today on the beach, and how good it is that it finally stopped raining.

Found out where she's from and that she lives here. Then the convo died down for a bit. She did some stuff on her phone.

REOPEN

After a while I reopened and asked her if she could take some pictures of me with my phone. She complied and I told her to come down to the shore so the water is in the pictures. She took a few, at least one of them was pretty good.

While I checked out the pictures and edited the good one a little, she went back to her towel and there was another pause. After a while I decided I can't let this one slide and asked her what she was going to do this evening. She said "Nothing, I'm just going to go home" which I took as a good sign. I walked over to her and crouched nearby and she was quite happy to talk to me.

She said she likes to be by herself at home, but comes to the beach to chill out. Asked her if she's been swimming, she said it's too cold still. Told her I went yesterday, it was nice but indeed a bit cold.

Asked her her name, did hand shake, I forgot to give her mine but gave it when she asked.

DEEP DIVING

I told her where I'm from. She said her sister lives in my country so we talked a bit about that. She's visited her once, several years ago, so I asked how she liked it and she said it was quite magical. She didn't remember the name of the place well and said she isn't good at remembering place names. I asked her how she liked the area and she described it quite vividly.

We talked for a bit about what she liekd in my country, then I changed subject and asked her about some of the tattoos on her arm. Used the opportunity to touch them and stroke her skin a bit, which was quite soft. She was comfortable with that. I pointed out some tats that I liked (she really had a lot of them, and that was only on her left arm!)

She was quite happy to talk about herself, I tried to just deep dive and not talk too much about myself except giving a detail here and there. I learned she makes clothes. I asked if she's a designer but she thinks of herself more of as an artist than a designer. I talked about how awesome it is to create your own stuff.

Asked her if she's able to make a living from what she loves. She said yes, sometimes it's a bit harder but God supports her. I noticed she had a tattoo of the word "God" on her hand. Pointed it out and took her hand for a second or two.

She talked quite a bit about God and that he talks to her. She asked me if he talks to me also? I don't really consider myself religious, but rather spiritual. So I had to think a bit, but then said yes, with conviction. I would call it talking to the universe (while meditating), but I said in my view "God" and "the universe" are basically the same thing.

We chatted a bit about talking to God and she also talked about guides, quite spiritual stuff but recently I'm into that fortunately. Maybe 10 or 20 years ago I couldn't have related but nowadays I defeinitely do.

I asked her about her work some more since she seemed to be quite into it. I asked her what kind of clothes she does and she said something that might translate to as seyx clothes, for slim women. She said some people ask if she does "plus sizes" but she said she doesn't because that's not what she's into. I said it's awesome to do what you love, and you have to follow your inner calling. I was also kind of turned on that she seems to be doing sexy clothes for hot girls. She was quite a hottie herself.

I asked her to show me her creations, and she again complied, pulled out her phone and showed me lots of her dresses in instagram. They looekd pretty cool.

MUSIC

We also got to talking about music since she had another tattoo that said "Flamenco", I play the guitar a bit and told her I admire the flamenco guitarrists. She said she's more into the vocals. I said I interpreted them as pained (I may have messed up due to the language here, I think at first I said "painful" but then I corrected myself). She was like, yes they convey a lot of emotion. She then went on to say she can't relate to rock really. I'm a rock guy myself, so I disagreed with that, but I didn't tell her directly. Instead I said rock is easier for me to play on the guitar, flamenco is much harder but I enjoy studying it and learning. She said rock is too agressive for her. No idea if she noticed I'm a rocker at heart, maybe she did, but I didn't tell her directly.

VIBE DIES DOWN A LITTLE

It got a bit colder as the sun was setting and I mentioned that, she said it's still fine. I decided to try and move her and asked her if she wants to go for a walk on the beach. She said no, she's going home now and it's 40 minutes so that's enough for her.

I asked her if that's by car, she said no, she's going on foot. We talked a bit about not having a car, she doesn't have one and neither do I. She told me how a car is so much responsibility, costs, etc and I agreed saying yeah I know, and you have to find a spot to park. So we had that in common, that we both used to have cars but not anymore.

Told her I go everywhere by bike nowadays and I love it. She said she had a bike once but wasn't super into it. She likes moving around on foot and getting some exercise. Told her I'm the same but prefer bike.

CLOSE ATTEMPT

She started putting on her shoes, so before I left I decided to go for the close and asked "Shall we met at the beach some day?" to seed a date, but she said well maybe we run into each other, but if I'm asking her for a date then she will be honest with me and say no. I thoght it was cool that she was being honest and told her, "all right, thanks for the conversation it was a pleaseure to meet you". Gave her a hug and two kisses on the cheeks. She said "Thank you" too as we hugged, then we parted ways.

In total we were chatting maybe 15-20 minutes total, and it felt good all the time except near the end when I think the vibe died down a little. I used ample touch, with her tats serving as a welcome excuse. She seemed to like it. I made good eye contact, but I also didn't want to be too intense and sat at a 45 degree angle, looking out at the sea sometimes while talking.

I also tried to do some NLP, mostly at the beginning of the conversation, talking about how relaxing it is to be at the beach, how one can be free and how beautiful the water is. Things like that. This is quite a first for me, especially talking in the local language, but at least I gave it a try and I think I delivered it quite well though I can't say if it had any effect or not.

BONUS APPROACH

I did one more approach for good measure, with a cutie I saw sitting by herself. I cold read her nationatility and got it right, then crouched next to her but I saw she wasn't really into it and looked down at her phone right away. So I asked her if she's waiting for someone, she said yes, 2 girl friends. So I was like okay, nice to meet you! and went on my way.

Even though the approaches didn't go anywhere, I'm super stoked I am able to do this now. You wouldn't believe how many hot girls I've seen on the beach without being able to talk to them in the years, no decads, before I started cold approaching.

SO.....

What do you guys think went wrong with the artsy clothes making girl? At first this girl seemed super "green" to me. I.e. interested. I'm almost sure she sat close to me on purpose.

Maybe I should have teased this girl more? I may have been focused too much on similarity, and relied on some (rather light) touch for arousal. Which apparently didn't work out. Touch is quite common in this southern European country, so it probably wasn't anything out of the ordinary here.

Also I probably deep dived too early. I remember now there was an article somewhere on GC cautioning us against that very thing...

A final comment: It feels SO GOOD to finally be actively working on this skill. Even though I may be late to it and undoubtedly still have a lot of room for improvement.

A year or two ago, I wouldn't have been able to even talk to this girl, no matter how much she'd have smiled at me. Let alone reopen her, walk over to her and chat calmly for an extended period of time, and go for the close. I could never have done it without this forum, so THANK YOU!!!

 

[AspiringStoic]

What do you guys think went wrong with the artsy clothes making girl? At first this girl seemed super "green" to me. I.e. interested. I'm almost sure she sat close to me on purpose.

Maybe I should have teased this girl more? I may have been focused too much on similarity, and relied on some (rather light) touch for arousal. Which apparently didn't work out. Touch is quite common in this southern European country, so it probably wasn't anything out of the ordinary here.

Also I probably deep dived too early. I remember now there was an article somewhere on GC cautioning us against that very thing...

I don't think you will like my answer.

But here goes....

I still think VOLUME is the biggest issue. Very difficult to draw conclusions from one interaction. Or even if we do, they might be just mental masturbation on our part. Real conclusions can only be drawn from patterns observed over a significant sample size.


Once you are having 5+ approaches everyday, you will be totalling at least 35 approaches/week. Out of 35, you will be having at least 5-10 that hook and end up being proper interactions like this one. Then and only then can we look at patterns and diagnose what is happening.

And with that kind of volume, sometimes magically many things auto correct themselves. The ability to open 25-30+ girls every week is the basis from which everything else flows. Till you reach that stage, you will always be in scarcity and it will come out in interactions.

Once you are able to open that volume of girls, you will naturally feel more empowered and more confident and relaxed in your interactions and good things happen when you are feeling those things.

So my honest advice, put all your effort and energy into reaching that volume first instead of deeply analysing every interaction. This is what made a massive difference in my results.

 

[Higher]

Good job on the hook man.

What i noticed is that you dont seem to rely on a specific model of how the interaction should go.

Im no authority, but lemme share the model i usually have in my mind - curious to hear what you think:

1. opener and initial compliance (you did it great here)
2. compliment (crucial to make your intent clear, otherwise it gets tricky)
3. schedule check ("so what do you do today / in the next few days?")
   1. if shes free now, good; bounce to somewhere else if possible
   2. if shes not free now, seed a date and grab her number

As i move through this template, i always try to deep-dive, tease / banter a bit, and (most importantly) compliance-test her in order to feel out if shes ready for the next step or not.

--

Now my 2 cents on this specific FR.

At one point our eyes met, and we smiled at each other.

After a while I reopened and asked her if she could take some pictures of me with my phone. She complied and I told her to come down to the shore so the water is in the pictures.

Very good compliance. Was a good moment to compliment her about something.

After a while I decided I can't let this one slide and asked her what she was going to do this evening. She said "Nothing, I'm just going to go home" which I took as a good sign. I walked over to her and crouched nearby and she was quite happy to talk to me.

Asking her what shes doing this evening before setting any man-to-woman frame feels a bit out of place, but good sign indeed that she had nothing to do.

Also, you might wanna try and find something to motivate her to move over to you rather than you going to her.

Asked her her name, did hand shake

This is always a good chance to throw in some good eye contact and a pregnant pause while you hold each others hands. Great tools to build the right vibe.

I decided to try and move her and asked her if she wants to go for a walk on the beach. She said no, she's going home now and it's 40 minutes so that's enough for her.

Yeah, the walking-together idea was good for earlier. And as you yourself state later...

Also I probably deep dived too early. I remember now there was an article somewhere on GC cautioning us against that very thing...

I think youre spot on.

The overall interaction feels indeed very friendly. I couldnt find any intent there - it was a friendly chat without much more. Also, i generally feel you place a lot of importance on the content of whats being said rather than the actual vibe.

Ive always been a big fan of deep diving, but i have to remind myself to memorize just 2-3 quick key facts about the girl and then switch focus asap to escalating the vibe (through teasing, leading, proximity, eye contact, etc).

Or in other words - i try to sketch a quick basic social frame first (in order to show im actually a normal human being), and then switch asap to a sexual frame.

One tool i usually resort to for this purpose (apart from the initial compliment) are SOTs. These are good for emotional stimulation and provide a great framework for escalating the right vibe. I typically introduce SOTs just by asking the question "so hows dating going? how are the boys around here / in your country?"

--

Looking forward to your next hooks!

 

[gameboy]

I agree @AspiringStoic that volume is super important. Now that the weather is better I've been approaching a lot more. Been out pretty much every day during the winter too, there just weren't that many interesting chicks around. I stopped journaling about every single approach, because I don't want to bore you guys to death lol.

I don't think that reflecting on a past interaction is mental masturbation. It can't hurt to review one's past experiences, to improve for the next time. Mental masturbation would be a complete hypothetical, as in "What if I approach a girl and then she does X / X happens".

Did some approaches yesterday. I think at least 5. The only one that hooked was an older woman that I was basically just chatting with because the opportunity arose. I always like to be sociable, and obviously it's great to build momentum.

Today I did maybe 4-5 approaches. I really stopped counting them all. One hooked very well, it was a Mexican woman but I realized while talking to her that I really wasn't attracted. She was super straightforward though. Asked me if I wanted kids, how old I was, why I wasn't married. Herself she was 39, no kids, single. So would have been super green but I really wasn't interested. Also, there was no challenge at all. I guess if she'd been smoking hot I wouldn't have minded and went all the way (or tried to), but she really wasn't. So I just chatted with her for 5 or 10 minutes since she was open and friendly enough, then excused myself.

Right after, I ran into a HB10. I knew I had seen her before somewhere and called out to her as she walked by, "excuse me... don't I know you from X club?" I thought she was one of the waitresses there. Turns out she had been a waitress at a coffee shop I used to go to years ago.

We had a short chat, in which she told me she does indeed go to X club. Also that people keep asking her if she isn't a waitress at some place or other (she listed 1 or 2 places). I used the opportunity to tease her saying "You know, you just have this waitress face!", while touching her shoulder playfully. She laughed hard at that, but then excused herself and headed off.

If I run into her again I'd love to continue gaming her, she's really a cute one. I remember she always had a super cheerful attitude at her job, which I also value a lot.

@Higher, thanks for your feedback! I think what was really missing with the artsy girl the other day was I didn't tease her enough. I thought my intent was pretty obvious, given that I reopened her twice, got her to take pictures, walked over amd sat with her, complimenting some of her tats and touching her any chance I got.

Maybe it doesn't come across that well when I write up the experience. But it's definitely a good idea to focus more on the vibe. I tried to create a flirty vibe but I guess I still have lots of room to improve there.

I get your point that maybe I should have gotten her to come over to me, or even just to sit closer to me at some point. Instead, I moved closer to her when I asked her to show me pics of her work.

I'm not used to being that dominant with a stranger I just met. If it works it would be a real powerful move.

Anyway. Since she seemed to be a quite religiuos girl, maybe God told her that I like death metal and I never had a chance with her in the first place. Or He tells her to come back to the beach and be more open next time? We'll see. Was cool how friendly and talkative she was though, really nice babe.

In hindsight I think I should have asked her when she talked about how she makes sexy clothes for slim girls, if she's into boys or into girls? Would have been a perfect transition to SoT. Will keep that in mind for next time I have a similar opportunity.

Fortunately there's no shortage of hot girls to practice flirting with now that spring is here. Gonna be fun!

 

[gameboy]

Thinking of it, maybe I should have gone at least for a num close with the mexican woman. Just to practice not really giving a fuck, lol. However all that talk about wanting kids was a bit much for me...

 

[Water]

Background:

I'm 49, 6' tall, slim, European but not living in my native country. I do speak the local language relatively fluenty, but sometimes (not always) still have trouble understanding the natives. I am very much attracted to the girls of the country where I'm living, especially those in their 20s or 30s. Some older girls (I guess I should call them women?) can be very attractive as well, but I usually like the younger ones best.

I would love to be able to cold approach girls doing day game, but so far I haven't been able to do it (with very few minor exceptions that went nowhere). I did have some decent success with girls from club and social game in my life, and my "natural" lay count is somewehere between 20 and 25 I believe. However, since my last LTR ended several years ago, I haven't been able to get either a kiss or a lay with a girl without paying for it.

I feel this is kind of sad, since I don't want to grow old alone. And anyway, while paying girls for a service can be fun too, it's nothing compared to the "real thing" in my opionion.

In the city where I live, I see attractive girls every day, but for some reason I can virtually never make the approach. It's not even that I'm super anxious, it's more like I "don't fell allowed" to. I make internal excuses like "she is too young", "I don't want to startle her", or "she looks real good, there's no way she is single". I also fear that I wouldn't know what to say and that the interaction would be boring or fizzle out.

So here's today's OR:

I was wandering around the beach, as I usually do. I love the beach, and would probably also be wandering around there if there were no women at all there. Fortunately there almost always are Today, I saw two interesting and attractive girls, both of which I didn't approach.

NON-APPROACH #1

Girl #1 was sitting leaning against a tree, looking at the sea and/or her phone. Style-wise, she was very much my type, a bit young though, she looked like she was maybe in her early 20s. I wandered around nearby, hoping that she would notice me. When I turned towards her she seemed to be looking in my general direction, but there were lots of people in that area so I couldn't really tell.

After a while, the sun went down in that area and she left. So I walked down the beach a bit.

NON-APPROACH #2

A bit futher down the beach, I came across an attractive girl sitting there all by herself, with a sweater on and some mate tea like the Argentinians like to drink. So I figured she was probably Argentinian. I walked by close behind her (not really on purpose, that was just the trajectory I had when I noticed her) and she actually turned towards me when I was near. I smiled at her but kept walking. I only got a short glimpse of her face but she seemed quite good looking, with long dark hair.

I went to the seaside nearby and stood there for a while, taking in the beautiful scenery. I turned around to the girl a couple of times, and again I had the feeling that she was checking me out but quickly looked away whenever I turned to her. That happened a couple of times until I decided it was getting cold and left the beach. I remember thinking there is no way a girl that cute doesn't have a boyfriend.

Those where the two non-approaches I did today on the beach, ha. I do hope typing this out and posting it will help me do better next time. If I write Outing Reports every time something like this happens, maybe at some point I will be too ashamed to continue this pattern over and over (I've been doing this for a long time) and do something more constructive... like actually talk to some girls!

I'm kind of used to girls giving approach invitations. If for example a girl was blatantly staring at me, I wouldn't have a problem saying hi. However, this doesn't seem to happen anymore. It certainly did when I was 20 or 30, but not any more. Might be my age, even though I still consider myself a good looking guy.

- gameboy

BONUS NON-APPROACH

After the beach I went to a coffee shop, and I was standing in line behind a fairly attractive girl. She had long black hair, and a good body (she was wearing rather baggy trainer clothes, but her belly was free and it was absolutely flat). She looked like a dancer actually. While we were both waiting, I could have easily made some remark to her about how hot coffee is good for cold weather, something like that. But again I didn't. Tbh she wasn't perfectly my type, a bit too much makeup for my taste. And some strange tics in the face that I've seen before on people who do too much of a certain white powder... But she was definitely attractive and I should at least have said SOMETHING to break my spell of non-approaching.

So this is a typical day for me, unfortunately. I hope by getting this OR out there, I'll become more motivated to to better next time and to actually do at least one approach. And if anyone would like to chime in, feedback is obviously welcome!

I'd love to be posting FRs and LRs here some time soon

How fit are you?

How do you look in just your swimming trunks?

 

[gameboy]

How fit are you?

How do you look in just your swimming trunks?

I have some muscle, but not super muscular.

I think I look okay in swimming trunks. No belly. Legs are pretty muscular since I bike every day, and used to do inline skating.

I think my shoulders could be broader though. I'm doing pushups, but the going is slow. I'm also do yoga regularly, and have done for over a decade. So my flexibility is great, but I'm not sure if that helps with attracting girls. Going to a class currently and the teacher seems to like me, fwiw (taken though)

Also, I'm 51 by now and it just shows in the face. Up until my late 40s people used to be surprised when I told them my age, and tell me I look much younger than I am. But that hasn't happened in number of years now, so I guess time has finally caught up with me.

 

[Water]

I have some muscle, but not super muscular.

I think I look okay in swimming trunks. No belly. Legs are pretty muscular since I bike every day, and used to do inline skating.

I think my shoulders could be broader though. I'm doing pushups, but the going is slow. I'm also do yoga regularly, and have done for over a decade. So my flexibility is great, but I'm not sure if that helps with attracting girls. Going to a class currently and the teacher seems to like me, fwiw (taken though)

Also, I'm 51 by now and it just shows in the face. Up until my late 40s people told me I look much younger than I am, and be surprised when I told them my age. But that hasn't happened in number of years now, so I guess time has finally caught up with me.

I see.

I‘m a personal trainer and used to weightlifting at a competitive level.

Buy some dumbbells to do curls and grow your biceps at home.

Also buy perfect push ups. They help a lot and make your push ups significantly harder.

Make sure you’re taking care of your face, seeing a dermatologist and have a skin care routine.

Are you willing to do plastic surgery?

I’ve been asking dreamer to post his skin care routine for a while now. We both look 10 years younger than our age.

 

[gameboy]

Are you willing to do plastic surgery?

No.

Thanks for the advice! I will consider it. Didn't know about perfect push ups, looking into it.

I do use moisturizer in the face. Helps a lot since I have dry skin.

 

[Water]

No.

Thanks for the advice! I will consider it. Didn't know about perfect push ups, looking into it.

I do use moisturizer in the face. Helps a lot since I have dry skin.

Let me open a direct message with you. I can provide more fitness advice in depth later when i’m not busy.

 

[the player of games]

OK, I've read through your journal. I have a few comments to make, some of which has been said before by others here. I have been considered a harsh person in the past, and I've toned it down over the years so I hope that I will not come across as such. It's just that I like to be both direct and real. Regardless, my intentions are not harsh. Rather the reverse.

1. First of all, thank you for posting. Your persistence is very inspirational, especially in the light of what seems to be little reward (although it depends on how you define reward, I suppose).
2. You don't really have approach anxiety, although your level of approaching seems to have died down in recent months. I guesstimate that you have opened at least 1,000 girls since you began. I'm not saying you don't feel anxious. I mean that AA is not the rate-limiting step for you, the thing that is really holding you back.
3. Your approach anxiety has actually morphed into, or perhaps expresses itself as something else. Fear of escalation, fear of staying in set, fear of being overheard by others (the spotlight effect) and ultimately, fear of success. Yes, you read that right. Think about it. You are turning down suggestions because these suggestions (and I'm not saying all the suggestions made by others here are necessarily good ones) are forcing you to step up your game, literally. Apart from some occasions, like Chase's challenge on colours and zodiac signs, you aren't really doing much different other than drive-by comments (which would only really work for guys with very strong fundamentals) and the occasional compliment (better - but I suspect what's stopping you from cashing in on these is your general vibe.)
4. I will go further. I will say that your persistence is the real superpower that you possess. Persistence alone can take you very far. Kind of. The problem is the rate of progress. Time is running out for us older guys. Now that may sound perhaps like some kind of judgement, like, oh, you should have had x number of phone numbers by now and y number of lays etc. No, that is not what I mean. Those are results. I am talking about the process.
5. What is your process? What is your plan? Is there a set of specific steps that you are looking to execute? Are there a specific set of specific objectives you are hoping to incrementally achieve? You can observe, from my questions, that I am a systems guy. I like logical progressions. We men are problem-solvers. OK, so I have this problem. I am an older guy. I love women. I don't have enough women and sex in my life. How can I get more? A lot more? Paying for it is a non-starter for me. Get rich? Get famous? Get game! OK, so we are going to game. We are going to daygame. So first we have to approach. That means we need to open. Then we need to get them to hook. After the hook we need to get the conversation going, go deeper, get them to invest, get some kino going, whatever. Numbers are not important. In this, I 100% agree with @AspiringStoic. It's not the number or even the lay. It's the skillset. Do you want to get lucky (aka buy a lottery ticket) or do you want to get laid consistently (aka build a money-making business empire)?
6. As far as I can see, you have no plan. You are trying out a few ideas from scattered articles and take on a few suggestions from the guys here. You are almost like a leaf being blown about like the wind. (To counter the harshness, you have one thing that puts you ahead of 90+% of guys. You aren't KJing. You are out there taking fucking action. You just need to change the type of action you are taking.) Get a plan and follow it. There are plenty of guides to daygame out there, especially for beginners.
7. Here is an example of the kind of thing I am talking about. So you have given yourself the challenge of approaching girls on the beach when there are other people around who can overhear you. OK, that is actually a good thing to do. But widening the range of girls you approach is not your rate-limiting step. All you are doing is creating breadth, when your problem is one of depth. It's like you have been told there is a motherlode of gold down there if you dig deep enough. So you start digging and you get about a few inches into the ground and then decide, 'I need a wider hole'. That's all approaching those girls near other guys will do. Or kind of worse, you'll decide, 'I need to do SC game' and go and dig another hole somewhere else entirely. No. Stick with this hole and dig deeper. You are solving the wrong problem. First, open, even if it's only the girls who are on their own. Great, you can do that and you've done a shit ton of them. Saying 'hi' is opening. Doesn't matter whether they respond positively, negatively or not at all. You've done the hardest work. Opening. Puts you ahead of 90% of guys. Now work on the next bit. Get the hook! Fuck numbers. They live in a mythical land far away. Right now you need to tackle the obstacle in front of you. Hook point. Some hooks will come quickly, this is from generally from vibe. Other hooks will come from persistence in set, but even then, this will be helped greatly by vibe.
8. Vibe is a huge subject but it's written about. Actually doing daygame will help build vibe automatically, especially if you get results. I speak from experience when I was active years ago. But vibe can also be knocked back by bad experiences and lack of results after so much effort. Your job is to keep progressing so that the positive outweighs the negatives. Going out consistently builds the positive, but if there isn't much progress (progress in the range of your actions, not necessarily your results), going out consistently might eventually start to work against you (see below). Vibe can be built by accepting bigger and bigger challenges. Vibe can be built by changing your thoughts on inner game. It's a huge subject and if you master vibe, well, I'll guess you will be teaching the rest of us. I think @Karea Ricardus D. talks about it in his series of articles on the X-factor.
9. Here's an example. With one recent girl you appeared to have a good session with, (I forget your exact words), you asked something like would you like to meet up some time? I wasn't there, but I would put money down that you came across as hesitant, expecting the rejection. Girls are massive social interpretation machines, much better at it than us and she would have picked up on it. This guy is not used to doing this. This guy has not had lots of experience with girls. This guy is not sure of himself. Unless there is some body language of the girl not being conveyed by you, I was surprised at her rejection given the quality of the session you had with her. It's almost like you are saying 'am i good enough for you to consider going out with me?' I understand that text is limited and you cannot convey non-verbal communication here, but that is how it came across to me from your description. Better would have been something like 'Hey, I gotta go now but I really enjoyed spending time with you. Here, give me your number and we'll go grab a coffee some time.' And of course, your voice and demeanour has to be completely congruent with this.
10. And even then, we all ultimately have limited reserves of willpower. You appear to be approaching less, sometimes blamed on the weather, sometimes you're just 'not feeling it', sometimes personal issues (I know all about those!). But I would say that it's quite possible that despite your positive attitude, some approach fatigue is starting to creep in and affect you subconsciously. And by fatigue I mean that we all need to be nourished or sustained in some way, whether it's by air, by food, or getting positive reactions from girls. You've gotten positive reactions but your subconscious (and even conscious) mind is starting to become dissatisfied. You want more. And you aren't getting it. This is actually the sign of a healthy mind at work. Your mind is saying, 'stuff this, we need more!', because it's now getting to the point where the juice is no longer worth the squeeze. That's why you are now branching out into social circle game a bit again. It's proving my point, despite your earlier objections on SC. Because you are not getting the reward you deserve in relation to the amount of effort you are putting in. If you carry on down this path, you will eventually come to the conclusion 'cold-approach daygame does not work, at least for us older guys'. And who would be able to dispute you? Haven't you put in hundreds of hours and thousands of opens? Your mind will eventually be convinced of this and then that will be hard place to come back from.
11. Lots of guys have given you good advice on your journal, especially @AspiringStoic and @StrayDog , the latter even offering to coach you which you turned down. Funnily enough, I can relate. I like to do things my way and in my own time and when I am certain that I've figured out the way to do things and others don't get it, I don't like others telling me how to do things. However, that's mainly in areas where they don't know much more than me. They are just giving me their opinions. But in this case, guys are informing you from deep reflection and actual experience. Which is gold. (I'm not saying all posts in this forum are gold. They aren't and signal-to-noise ratio is a problem.) But think. Really sit down and think. Take the whole weekend off for this if necessary. What is it that you want? What do you really want? You said somewhere that you want connection and unless there is connection you don't see the point of pursuing the interaction. What you mean by connection, it seems to me, is that it happens 'naturally', it flows 'naturally' without any effort. Dude - you have to create attraction. It's called seduction for a reason. It will start to happen 'naturally' when you are actually seducing the girl. Consider this. You approached her because she was hot. Where was connection then? There wasn't any. Then you start talking and you find lots of things in common. But no connection. Connection is built. First attraction, then connection.
12. Finally, once again, I agree 100% with @AspiringStoic . It sounds like you want a girlfriend/wife. That is a laudable aim. But I don't think cold-approach game is an efficient way to get that. You would have a better time through social circle or dating apps. Why do I say this? Think on this. You are saying you want connection. That means you are a man with standards. Great. Now consider this - what do you think happens if you keep on gaming and slowly, your skills get better, +/- you get lucky and happen to meet the right girl at the right time in her life. And that girl is good enough. And then you will stop gaming and settle into an LTR with her. So that's great, right? Well depends. You basically settled for the first girl that was good enough. Which is what the vast majority of men do. But that's not what game is designed for. Game is designed for increasing first the quantity of girls you get, and then, as your skills get better and better, and as you indirectly or directly increase your own value as a man, the quality of the girls you get. Very few men outside of high status guys manage to do that.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well. And thanks once again for all your posts, I learned a lot from them.

good luck

 

[gameboy]

OK, I've read through your journal. I have a few comments to make, some of which has been said before by others here. I have been considered a harsh person in the past, and I've toned it down over the years so I hope that I will not come across as such. It's just that I like to be both direct and real. Regardless, my intentions are not harsh. Rather the reverse.

1. First of all, thank you for posting. Your persistence is very inspirational, especially in the light of what seems to be little reward (although it depends on how you define reward, I suppose).
2. You don't really have approach anxiety, although your level of approaching seems to have died down in recent months. I guesstimate that you have opened at least 1,000 girls since you began. I'm not saying you don't feel anxious. I mean that AA is not the rate-limiting step for you, the thing that is really holding you back.
3. Your approach anxiety has actually morphed into, or perhaps expresses itself as something else. Fear of escalation, fear of staying in set, fear of being overheard by others (the spotlight effect) and ultimately, fear of success. Yes, you read that right. Think about it. You are turning down suggestions because these suggestions (and I'm not saying all the suggestions made by others here are necessarily good ones) are forcing you to step up your game, literally. Apart from some occasions, like Chase's challenge on colours and zodiac signs, you aren't really doing much different other than drive-by comments (which would only really work for guys with very strong fundamentals) and the occasional compliment (better - but I suspect what's stopping you from cashing in on these is your general vibe.)
4. I will go further. I will say that your persistence is the real superpower that you possess. Persistence alone can take you very far. Kind of. The problem is the rate of progress. Time is running out for us older guys. Now that may sound perhaps like some kind of judgement, like, oh, you should have had x number of phone numbers by now and y number of lays etc. No, that is not what I mean. Those are results. I am talking about the process.
5. What is your process? What is your plan? Is there a set of specific steps that you are looking to execute? Are there a specific set of specific objectives you are hoping to incrementally achieve? You can observe, from my questions, that I am a systems guy. I like logical progressions. We men are problem-solvers. OK, so I have this problem. I am an older guy. I love women. I don't have enough women and sex in my life. How can I get more? A lot more? Paying for it is a non-starter for me. Get rich? Get famous? Get game! OK, so we are going to game. We are going to daygame. So first we have to approach. That means we need to open. Then we need to get them to hook. After the hook we need to get the conversation going, go deeper, get them to invest, get some kino going, whatever. Numbers are not important. In this, I 100% agree with @AspiringStoic. It's not the number or even the lay. It's the skillset. Do you want to get lucky (aka buy a lottery ticket) or do you want to get laid consistently (aka build a money-making business empire)?
6. As far as I can see, you have no plan. You are trying out a few ideas from scattered articles and take on a few suggestions from the guys here. You are almost like a leaf being blown about like the wind. (To counter the harshness, you have one thing that puts you ahead of 90+% of guys. You aren't KJing. You are out there taking fucking action. You just need to change the type of action you are taking.) Get a plan and follow it. There are plenty of guides to daygame out there, especially for beginners.
7. Here is an example of the kind of thing I am talking about. So you have given yourself the challenge of approaching girls on the beach when there are other people around who can overhear you. OK, that is actually a good thing to do. But widening the range of girls you approach is not your rate-limiting step. All you are doing is creating breadth, when your problem is one of depth. It's like you have been told there is a motherlode of gold down there if you dig deep enough. So you start digging and you get about a few inches into the ground and then decide, 'I need a wider hole'. That's all approaching those girls near other guys will do. Or kind of worse, you'll decide, 'I need to do SC game' and go and dig another hole somewhere else entirely. No. Stick with this hole and dig deeper. You are solving the wrong problem. First, open, even if it's only the girls who are on their own. Great, you can do that and you've done a shit ton of them. Saying 'hi' is opening. Doesn't matter whether they respond positively, negatively or not at all. You've done the hardest work. Opening. Puts you ahead of 90% of guys. Now work on the next bit. Get the hook! Fuck numbers. They live in a mythical land far away. Right now you need to tackle the obstacle in front of you. Hook point. Some hooks will come quickly, this is from generally from vibe. Other hooks will come from persistence in set, but even then, this will be helped greatly by vibe.
8. Vibe is a huge subject but it's written about. Actually doing daygame will help build vibe automatically, especially if you get results. I speak from experience when I was active years ago. But vibe can also be knocked back by bad experiences and lack of results after so much effort. Your job is to keep progressing so that the positive outweighs the negatives. Going out consistently builds the positive, but if there isn't much progress (progress in the range of your actions, not necessarily your results), going out consistently might eventually start to work against you (see below). Vibe can be built by accepting bigger and bigger challenges. Vibe can be built by changing your thoughts on inner game. It's a huge subject and if you master vibe, well, I'll guess you will be teaching the rest of us. I think @Karea Ricardus D. talks about it in his series of articles on the X-factor.
9. Here's an example. With one recent girl you appeared to have a good session with, (I forget your exact words), you asked something like would you like to meet up some time? I wasn't there, but I would put money down that you came across as hesitant, expecting the rejection. Girls are massive social interpretation machines, much better at it than us and she would have picked up on it. This guy is not used to doing this. This guy has not had lots of experience with girls. This guy is not sure of himself. Unless there is some body language of the girl not being conveyed by you, I was surprised at her rejection given the quality of the session you had with her. It's almost like you are saying 'am i good enough for you to consider going out with me?' I understand that text is limited and you cannot convey non-verbal communication here, but that is how it came across to me from your description. Better would have been something like 'Hey, I gotta go now but I really enjoyed spending time with you. Here, give me your number and we'll go grab a coffee some time.' And of course, your voice and demeanour has to be completely congruent with this.
10. And even then, we all ultimately have limited reserves of willpower. You appear to be approaching less, sometimes blamed on the weather, sometimes you're just 'not feeling it', sometimes personal issues (I know all about those!). But I would say that it's quite possible that despite your positive attitude, some approach fatigue is starting to creep in and affect you subconsciously. And by fatigue I mean that we all need to be nourished or sustained in some way, whether it's by air, by food, or getting positive reactions from girls. You've gotten positive reactions but your subconscious (and even conscious) mind is starting to become dissatisfied. You want more. And you aren't getting it. This is actually the sign of a healthy mind at work. Your mind is saying, 'stuff this, we need more!', because it's now getting to the point where the juice is no longer worth the squeeze. That's why you are now branching out into social circle game a bit again. It's proving my point, despite your earlier objections on SC. Because you are not getting the reward you deserve in relation to the amount of effort you are putting in. If you carry on down this path, you will eventually come to the conclusion 'cold-approach daygame does not work, at least for us older guys'. And who would be able to dispute you? Haven't you put in hundreds of hours and thousands of opens? Your mind will eventually be convinced of this and then that will be hard place to come back from.
11. Lots of guys have given you good advice on your journal, especially @AspiringStoic and @StrayDog , the latter even offering to coach you which you turned down. Funnily enough, I can relate. I like to do things my way and in my own time and when I am certain that I've figured out the way to do things and others don't get it, I don't like others telling me how to do things. However, that's mainly in areas where they don't know much more than me. They are just giving me their opinions. But in this case, guys are informing you from deep reflection and actual experience. Which is gold. (I'm not saying all posts in this forum are gold. They aren't and signal-to-noise ratio is a problem.) But think. Really sit down and think. Take the whole weekend off for this if necessary. What is it that you want? What do you really want? You said somewhere that you want connection and unless there is connection you don't see the point of pursuing the interaction. What you mean by connection, it seems to me, is that it happens 'naturally', it flows 'naturally' without any effort. Dude - you have to create attraction. It's called seduction for a reason. It will start to happen 'naturally' when you are actually seducing the girl. Consider this. You approached her because she was hot. Where was connection then? There wasn't any. Then you start talking and you find lots of things in common. But no connection. Connection is built. First attraction, then connection.
12. Finally, once again, I agree 100% with @AspiringStoic . It sounds like you want a girlfriend/wife. That is a laudable aim. But I don't think cold-approach game is an efficient way to get that. You would have a better time through social circle or dating apps. Why do I say this? Think on this. You are saying you want connection. That means you are a man with standards. Great. Now consider this - what do you think happens if you keep on gaming and slowly, your skills get better, +/- you get lucky and happen to meet the right girl at the right time in her life. And that girl is good enough. And then you will stop gaming and settle into an LTR with her. So that's great, right? Well depends. You basically settled for the first girl that was good enough. Which is what the vast majority of men do. But that's not what game is designed for. Game is designed for increasing first the quantity of girls you get, and then, as your skills get better and better, and as you indirectly or directly increase your own value as a man, the quality of the girls you get. Very few men outside of high status guys manage to do that.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well. And thanks once again for all your posts, I learned a lot from them.

good luck

Wow, you read the whole thing! Glad you liked it.

Just to say I'm still out every day, and approaching between 1-4 sets on most days. (Reals openers where the girls actually get to reply, not counting hi's or drive by compliments which I still like to do as warmups.)

Haven't been updating this journal much recently, but I'm keeping track in private. I have had some slumps obviously, but recently I've been stepping it up again and it feels great.

I believe I'm exactly where I need to be. Yes maybe I'm slower than some others, but that's okay with me. Everbody is coming from different starting points.

I'll see if I can write you a more detailed response later when I have more time. Gotta head out now.

 

[gameboy]

What is your process?

I think that's the key point. I need to improve my process. Right now, I'm pretty good at overcoming AA, but I still fall back into boring small talk too easily. Then the vibe kind of dies down, and I eject at some point.

Gotta remember to pay the girl a compliment after the opener, as @Higher suggested. Also remember to test for compliance, and tease her.
An easy way to test for compliance could be "can you guess where I'm from?" since the topic of who is from what country invariably comes up early in most conversations. Or if she has tattoos or jewelry ask her to show me those.

As for the tease, it's harder to plan ahead. The other day I opened a Latin American girl. She had only been here for 6 months, and she seemed pretty open to talk to me. When she told me she worked as a cleaner, I teased her with "Oh cool you can come to my place and clean!" It didn't land so well, unfortunately. She kinda looked to the side, but didn't laugh.

We chatted a bit more, but it got awkward afterward. In hindsight I realize why this tease wasn't so good. It can be tricky to come up with something fun but calibrated in the moment.

Lots of guys have given you good advice on your journal,

They have indeed, and it's been very helpful. StrayDog has helped a lot too, but coaching via a public forum on the internet? Come on. Who wants to have themselves micro-managed, especially in full public view? I appreciate pointers and feedback, but this isn't for me.

A post in a forum can only convey so much. And then, everyone seems to interpret stuff differently. Sometimes I've posted stuff here, and then somebody interpreted in a way completely contrary to what I said. And I'm like, hey did you read what I wrote?

I might add that the same thing happened to you apparently. Fear of escalation? You seem to have missed the parts where I wrote about physically escalating with girls as far as they would let me. Spotlight effect? Haven't had that one in a long time. Fear of success? Well in that case I could just stay at home I guess. The only fear that I'm aware of currently the fear of falling into a relationship that I'm not happy in long term. And maybe the "angry bf" scenario but that risk is really really low since I wouldn't usually approach girls who are with a guy.

Of course, my writing isn't always perfect either. Sometimes I leave stuff out which may be relevant. Like with this girl:

With one recent girl you appeared to have a good session with, (I forget your exact words), you asked something like would you like to meet up some time?

I assume you're talking about the Christian girl I met on the beach who said she talks to God.

What I believe I didn't write in the report: I remember that before suggesting the soft close, I was thinking that I had plans for the next two days. So I was kind of worrying when I would even slot her in. It sounds absurd now because I could obviously have met her at a later date, but those were my thoughts in the moment. It's possible that she picked up on that doubt somehow, and that was why she said no.

Or maybe the ask was a bit too much, and she felt if she agrees then I'm going to assume it's going to be a date and gonna be expecting all kinds of things. I think a better close in this case would have been "hey I it's been fun talking to you, wanna keep in touch on whatsapp?"

But it's all speculation. Like others have said (@AspiringStoic notably [I wonder what's become of him by the way? He disappeared at some point in the middle of his 2nd 30 day challenge... dude are you okay?]), I need to be in more situations like this. Hopefully I'll get better automatically, by osmosis so to speak.

Unfortunately there aren't always HBs like this one on the beach popping up next to me, smiling at me and open to be approached. It's not something that happens every day. Considering that, I think I did okay with that girl. Good learning experience at a minimum.

It sounds like you want a girlfriend/wife.

Girlfriend will do. I don't see the need to get married. Certainly not a goal, though I'm not saying I never will. Who knows.

But getting a girlfriend is a mid to long term goal. Right now it's just to have fun, and to be able to talk to the girls that I really like.

Anyway, thanks for your feedback even though I don't agree with all of it. It did help me to see that I need a better process, so I'll be working on that.

I'm also continously working on fundamentals by the way. Exercising pretty much every day, and finally seeing some results. I'm find I'm starting to look a lot better with my shirt off.

 

[gameboy]

Had a date (not from day game) on Monday. Here's the FR. I got majestically cockblocked, by a guy I considered a friend no less. I learned a lot from this experience.

As a result I had a lot of anger and frustration yesterday. So much so that I couldn't properly approach. All I did was 2 drive by openers. One was just "cheers" to a girl who was holding a cup of coffee while I had one too, and one compliment. Both were well received, brightening up my overall dark mood just a little.

Today I felt a bit better, and decided to channel my anger into a more positive form of energy. It worked. I did about 8-10 approaches. I had no real hooks where the girl actually asked me something back, though I had I think 3 longer conversations.

My main problem is I still eject too soon. I either notice a reserved energy from the girl, or I think she is out of my league and there's no point to go for the number.

An example: The hottest girl I approached today was one with a dog, reading a book on the beach. I opened with a comment how cute the dog is, then ask her if it's allowed to have them on the beach. She said no, lol. She was super receptive, and very attractive. A local, tanned, long dark hair. I think she had red fingernails, which I don't really like, and that kind of gave me the impression that this was a girl who values elegance a lot. I chatted for a little about the dog, and tried to tease her about all the dog hair she had on her legs. Didn't really get a reaction. I got the impression though that she was just being polite, since dog owners (I used to be one) are used to being approached and chatting to other dog owners or people who want to play with the dog and such.

I probably should have kept talking to her anyway, but I had a feeling there's no real point. As I started to walk away I teased her once more with "Don't let the police catch you with the dog!" but again she didn't really laugh at that.

I did reopen her a couple of seconds later, but by then she was already chatting to a guy who was lying like 3-4 meters away from her. Incredible. Some stiff competition around here.

Lesson learned: It's totally doable to open a girl that just got approached by someone else. She's already in a chatty mood, and if the first guy fucks it up you can just take over. (In fact I did it myself once, way back in winter. It was an older woman though, i.e. older than myself. I think I journaled about it at the time. Got her on social media, but didn't follow up. I think she wrote me once and I just gave a short reply. She wasn't hot.)

Another lesson: The hottest girls are often the nicest.

I need to train myself to stay in set longer. And go for the close more often.