Gameboy's Journal

[gameboy]

Still bummed about that date experience. I can live with a girl rejecting me, but with a guy actively sabotaging me, it's a different story.

Will text the girl one of these days and see if she's down to meet again, but not holding my breath. Guess the only way forward is to step up my approaching and get better at it.

Did 4 approaches today. First was a warmup walk-by complinent, got me a nice (if a little wary) smile.

2 were in the street, cold-reading both girls' nationalities. Both gave me minimal replies, then ignored me.

The last approach was a girl I really really liked, sitting on the beach. Petite, dark skin, cool style. Nose piercing, which made me think maybe she's lesbian. Lying right next to her there's a guy younger and more muscular than me checking her out, but he doesn't approach.

At first I moved my towel next to hers, but she was on the phone all the time. While I was lying there waiting for her to finish, the tide reached my feet so I had to move further up.

After going for a swim I see she is packing her stuff. I didn't even think about it, I just went over and told her I thought she was cute and I wanted to say hi to her. Reception was much better than I had expected. I found out where she was from and what her plans for the day were. She was leaving early next morning though. Asked her if she'd be down for a drink with me, but she declined very politely. She spoke my native language fluently, so it was easier than most other approaches. Also, it was extra fun to approach her in front of that other guy next her lol.

Little win today: I went up to the hottest girl I found on the beach, opened smooth and without hesitating when the opportunity arose, and went for the close. I should do that more often. Maybe take a bit more time for vibing and actual seduction before going for the close.

 

[gameboy]

I'm getting really good receptions recently. The other day I bought something as simple as two new white t-shirts, and they look so much better than my old ones which are actually yellow by now in comparison. Didn't even notice before. Planning to buy 5 or so more new t-shirts next week.

Current sticking point is to stay in set. Be more present. Allow pauses. Not leave until there is a good reason to (e.g. she's clearly not interested, and not just in my imagination).

I need to turn my self talk to positive. Assume attraction. She WANTS to meet a guy like me. She WANTS me to stay with her, be present with her, let the interaction breathe and not be in a rush. She WANTS to get to know me little by little. She WANTS to meet a cool mysterious stranger. She WANTS to give me her number. She WANTS to hear from me and play the texting game. She WANTS to meet me again and have sex with me.

 

[gameboy]

Things are going nicely.

Still texting with the girl from the date. I'll probably ask her out at some point and see how it goes. However I've been feeling some pangs of oneitis about her over the course of the last week, and I'm wary of falling into that trap. So I'm taking it slow.

Also have some interesting leads from day game right now. I'm getting much better receptions recently. Maybe because I'm improving my fashion, but also my fitness and overall health are improving.

Yesterday I reopened a girl I'd talked to 2 days before, one that was with a dog. She was much friendlier than I expected. Unfortunately I ejected too early again. At same point I said "Well ahve a nice day" and I don't even know why I said it. Maybe I was auto rejecting, because she really is a hottie. I saw her walk into the water just before, real slow. Holy smoke it was a nice rear view. When/if I see her again I intend to be more present and not eject until she gives me a very solid reason too (i.e. bf excuse or something).

Today I just came across another hot girl that I've known for years. I took her number at some point but then I was way too slow in asking her out (that was years ago) and once I decided to go for it, she wasn't responsive anymore. Probably had another guy by then. So today I saw her walking down my street. Deliberated for a few seconds, then turned around my bike and caught up with her. Had a real nice chat, with lots of eye contact. She has the most stunning blue eyes. I was much more present this time, and resisted the temptation to say "Nice to meet you" and run off for no reason. I actually got hard talking to her. I can't remember that happening while talking to a girl in the street lol. Anyway, we connected over a bunch of rather deep stuff, and also shared some hugs and she was actually touching me back while we talked.

She has an exam in a couple of days which she is studying for, so I told her to let me know how it goes since she has my number. She seems down to go for a walk or go to the beach one of these days. Once home, I sent her a text to follow up, no reply so far but it's only been an hour or so. We'll see how it goes.

 

[gameboy]

Feeling more and more confident approaching. Though I still chicken out sometimes if the girl looks too young or is awkwardly positioned. I'm also getting better at staying in set.

The last 2 or 3 days I didn't see all that many truly hot babes around, so I didn't have much opportunity to approach apart from the ones I described above alrady. Or maybe my standards are too high, because the girls from my last journal entry were truly hot (at least 9s) and I didn't find much comparable.

So here's a few of the more interesting interactions I've had over the weekend, mostly not true cold approaches (though I did a few, but I'm not journaling every single approach anymore if there's nothing remarkable worth writing about).

1 - The other day I went to a bar. It was almost empty. But I saw one girl I found cute. She was in a 3F1M group, they huddled tightly together so I didn't approach. But one her female friends, a tall blonde one, opened me and asked me if I want to play table football with them. I accepted.

I was paired with the blondie, and played against the cute one and the guy. The 3rd girl didn't want to play. I told the cute one she looks like a friend of mine, just that my friend has more tattoos. She asked me where I'm from, because of my accent I guess. I told her. She didn't really hook though. Should have told her to guess, would've been more entertaining.

I hi-5-ed and hugged my blonde team mate when we scored, to celebrate. She played along but didn't seem into it. Also tried to do small talk with the group but it didn't really hook either. Suddenly the guy took out a little bottle and handed it to the bonde. She took two noses of it, then the guy took one, and the cute one too. I've never seen people do cocaine right in front of me and in full view of the whole bar lol. It was almost empty so nobody cared... I think that's constitutes cheating at table football at the very least. Then again, even our European leaders do it so who am I to complain...

We played a few sets then they huddled together again, so I gave up on the cute one since I can't really compete against coked up guys. How do you night gamers do it anyway? Or do you just, ahm, adapt to the environment wink wink?

2 - Those of you who've read the first pages of my journal may know that I was stuck saying "hello" to girls for quite a while. Well, a few days ago I got my karma back and got hello'd myself. It was a cute young local girl, probably underage though or at most late teens. She was with a female friend and she said hello to me as I passed by with my bike. Here's how that went:

Cute Girl: Hello!
Gameboy: (stops bike) Hello! ... (looks at her and thinks) Do I know you?
CG: No!
GB: Ah... hahah, okay. So why are you saying hello to me then?
CG: Gotta be nice to people!
GB: Hahha, that's so cute! I love it! I'm Gameboy! (extends hand)
CG: (shakes hand) I'm bla bla
GB. Nice to meet you... have a great day!
CG: You too!

... and I drove off. Passed her by later since I took a detour and our paths crossed again. Waved at her and said bye, and she waved back and said bye excitedly. Maybe she had had a little to drink, since it was Saturday evening on the beach. Anyway, this one was clearly too young for me so I didn't take it further.

3 - not an approach, but a lovely interaction with 2 of the waitresses at one of my favorite cafeterias. We came to talk about age and I told the girl serving me I'm 51. She stared at me in disbelief and looked genuinely shocked. I asked her how old she thought I was and she said maybe like 43, at most... I said you're so sweet!! Then her colleague came in and she asked her "How old do you think he is?" The girl (I think she's lesbian, but she has lovely beautiful eyes and a cute smile) looks at me for 5 seconds and says "35" <3

I walked over and gave her a hug. Made my day! I told them I love them both. I think they were being honest. But maybe it's just senility setting in on my part

4 - Today I was on the beach, pretty much surrounded by girls (and a few guys) but no really hot one. There was one a bit chubby one, with a nice tan and a few tattoos, long dark hair. She looked over at me, so I gave her a smile but she looked back down.

I went for a swim, then walked around a bit but no super exciting girls either. Went back to my towel, and the girl started to look over at me quite a bit, even smiling at me. I smiled back, but couldn't quite bring myself to open. She was just a bit too chubby, and with barely any tits, so not my preferred body type. Her smile was cute though.

What pushed me over the edge though was a moustached guy with black sunglasses who planted himself next to her. As I walked around by I saw him staring at her ass. He never talked to her though, even though he was lying right next to her.

When I was back at my towel, he gave me stares through his creepy voyeur sunglasses. So I decided to show him who's boss and walked over to the girl.

Opened with "Sorry, are you Latina?" she said "Yes!" so I told her I liked her smile and wanted to come say hello. She hooked immediately and asked me where I'm from. I let her guess where I'm from, she got it completely wrong though so I had to tell her in the end. We chatted a bit about how long she's here for and such. Boring factual talk. Should have remembered some of the SOT topics like asking for the Zodiac. Instead, since I wasn't really attracted and just found her cute and wanted to experiment a bit, I asked her how old she was. She's 21. I told her she's a bit too young for me, and that I could be her father. Probably knocked myself out with that, but I wanted to give it a try. She said her father is 60 so I said OK I'm not that old lol.

Decided to go for the close anyway and said I have to get going, but we should grab a coffee some time. She declined with some excuse that she isn't here often. (funny what they come up with lol) I said no worries, I just thought you were cute and wanted to say hi. Shook her hand and told her see you around, for an amiable goodbye.

First approach I did purely to trounce the competetion. (Well, not purely. I admit I would have banged the girl if she'd been down, her being 3 decades younger would've been worth it. But I went for the close too soon and without much qualification, without much of anything in fact. Will do better next time.)

Good fun. And great for testosterone.

 

[average_daygamer]

Finally got to the end of this journal. You are right, it is absolutely brutal for us men.

You aren't getting laid unless you approach and approaching is so fraught.

You start getting push back in nightgame due to your age in your mid 30s so that goes out the window as there are too many security and other people trying to stop you.

Not to mention, it does not feel safe out night due to rowdy working class men outside venues looking for someone a bit different to pick on.

So all you are left with is really daygame.

No point in apps due to the age filter.

If you want those hotties they simply won't see our profiles.

Yet in daygame you have about 1 second to react if they are walking and it takes a lot of blowouts, underaged approaches and other assorted cringe in the process just go get a flaky phone number.

Your progression was interesting to see and the different phases where you for stuck on "hi".

I do this as well, saying "hi" is a great warmup.

And then you got the number close and then the deeper interactions from that.

You know, you could always take some infields using earbuds as they have a built in microphone so we could listen in on your conversation and really get a feeling for what you are doing.

I've done that myself to send to my coach, but this forum doesn't allow attachments to put them up here.

Well done on the progress anyway and I really could relate to the grind reading through this. It does sound like a spot with a lot of middle class girls which are more pleasant to approach rather than the rough chavs we have over here in the UK.

 

[AspiringStoic]

notably [I wonder what's become of him by the way? He disappeared at some point in the middle of his 2nd 30 day challenge... dude are you okay?]),

Hey I just logged in for the first time today since the end of April. Yeah some shit went down. Undergoing a major life change and some issues with family. Will be back soon. Hopefully all this clears up soon and I am back. Hope all is well with you.

 

[gameboy]

Today something funny happened. I was kind of slipping back into a depressed mood since I haven't had much success lately, despite doing 2-5 approaches pretty much every day. The two leads I had (date girl and another one I met in the street recently) also turned unresponsive after some texting back and forth.

Yesterday I approached a girl I felt super attracted to. I found her cute in her demeanour, and very feminine. She's new in the city, and told me she arrived that very day. I went for a soft close, but she rejected my attempt in a sweet way. I turned to leave and walked one or two steps, but decided to turn around and try again. She'd just shake her head in a shy way, look away and give some excuse about being with her family most of the time and what not. So I gave her a hug and left.

Well today, after a long session of walking around and just getting 2 rather weak approaches in, I decided to call it a day and sat down leaning against a tree, thinking what's the purpose of all this.

In my field of view there are more trees. Sitting leaning against one, there's a girl, leaning against another tree nearby, a guy. I didn't even register the two of them until the guy gets up to talk to the girl. I realize it's the same girl I had approached yesterday! He stands there, talking down at her (doesn't crouch like I probably would have). And I watch her reject him the same way she did me yesterday, shaking her head, looking to the side and I think I overheard her saying "no, no" from the distance (or maybe it was her body language).

For some reason that lifted my spirits again. Everyone gets rejected. At least I'm in the game! Which is the point of it all.

 

[gameboy]

Just a quick update since it's late, but I actually saw the girl from the previous post again yesterday. Spotted her sitting on the beach just as I was about to leave, reopened her, and this time she was super responsive. We ended up spending several hours on the beach together. Lots of touch and deep diving, moved her to a better spot with less people around, took some pictures of her (and she of me), and had a good time overall.

She was cool with casual touch (which I did quite a lot of), but resisted any further escalation. She was flying back to her country the next day. I got her number and asked her out for a drink for her last night, but she said she was busy. She really liked my city and says she's definitely coming back soon, and is even considering relocating for good.

So far the number seems solid, but let's see what happens and if she's really coming back. Good interaction though, one of my favorites so far. Plus it's been a fun learning experience that the same girl who rejected me 2 days before, and another guy 1 day before, reacted completely differently this time. In a way it felt like "we already knew each other" this time, even though we'd only talked for a few minutes max the last time.

 

[DArtagnan]

I asked her how old she thought I was and she said maybe like 43, at most... I said you're so sweet!! Then her colleague came in and she asked her "How old do you think he is?" The girl (I think she's lesbian, but she has lovely beautiful eyes and a cute smile) looks at me for 5 seconds and says "35" <3

Congrats on looking way younger, and love how you handled this age conversation, even with the hug in the end. I might steal the idea.

I'm 37 but people think I'm in my 20 somethings. Services everywhere still ask me if I want some "student reduction". However I still can't take any profit from this. Guys in their 20s talk to me as if I was one of their peers, and girls in their 20s don't cut me any slack. It's not possible for me to go for younger than that though, because it's illegal.

You however, looking like your 30s, can at least go for the 20s

 

[gameboy]

hahahha i think she might have been flattering me a bit there, but thanks anyway

 

[gameboy]

Today I did 3 approaches, all on the beach. Reactions were all over the place. The last one got the worst reaction I've had so far from a girl. She actually came after me with her boyfriend (I assume) who wasn't there when I opened her.

1st one was situational, a group of girls about to enter the water. They just gave me a polite answer but then quicky jumped into the sea.

2nd one was a girl who had caught my eye because she reminded me of an ex. She was in a 2F set. Also rather young so I didn't really expect to go all-in, just wanted to open to get back into the groove since my momentum has dropped a bit recently (yesterday for example I did no approach at all, which sucks).

I walked up to her and said "Excuse me, quick question: Are you from X (place where my ex is from)?" She said "No, I'm from Y (here)!" I told her that she reminded me of my ex, who was from X (no pun intended lol). She went "Ahhh hahahah" so I probably should have stayed in set longer, but I didn't have anything to follow up with. Still need a good routine for the locals. Most girls I approach are visiting or foreigners living here.

Also, I was surprised to get such a good reaction since she didn't look much older than 25, and was with her friend and all. So since I didn't have a good follow up, I told her "All right have a good day" and left.

Felt a bit lame afterward, and later I thought I could have at least stayed and chatted with her for a bit, introduce myself and shake hands. Even though she was with her friend, but that doesn't really have to be a problem if she's receptive. I probably wouldn't have pulled her, but nonetheless I decided still need to be way bolder with my approaches and test my limiting beliefs, one of which is the eternal age problem.

Unfortunately that didn't work out so well with the 3rd approach. I walked around for quite a while but couldn't find any suitable girls. Around sunset I came across a girl sitting by herself who looked like she was checking herself out in her phone. Looked young but I decided to give her a compliment anyway, so I said "You're pretty!" with a big smile. She looked up and looked super angry right away. I realized she was probably a teenager, younger than I thought. I said "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" lifting my hands palms outward, still smiling, and started walking off. She said something like "What's your problem" so I just shook my head and left.

I sat down near the sea and after a minute I see her coming after me, with some kid who apparently is is her boyfriend. He doesn't look particularly scary, but I'm not keen on getting in a fight over a non-issue like this. He comes up to me and asks "Did you say something to her?" I say "No, nothing, sorry". Seemed best to deescalate. He was like "No, sorry is no good" (roughly translating, we were talking in the local language and there's no exact equivalent in English) and I said "Hey I'm sorry, didn't mean any harm." Guy and the girl walked off.

I guess the age issue can be a problem after all. I didn't expect this girl to be so young. Nor to get angry at a compliment. But with the young ones you never know, I'm getting the impression that sometimes they really don't know what they're doing.

If I were some crazy violent person, or some drunk or drug addict who has nothing to lose, I might have gotten into a fight with this kid and someone would have gotten hurt... I'm pretty sure he couldn't have harmed me, but who knows maybe he has some crazy combat skills. Also I have literally nothing to gain by kicking some dumb young kid's ass. Didn't seem like he was keen on fighting me either.

So... that was a bummer. After the 2nd approach I decided I should really not worry about the age of girls so much, but I instantly learned that you can't completely ignore it, either.

At least I did 3 approaches today, which for me is decent. Gotta keep going. Guess I can tick the "angry boyfriend" box off the list now.

 

[funkyjam]

She looked up and looked super angry right away.

I don’t get why she got upset—getting angry over a compliment doesn’t make any sense. What’s her deal?

Just curious—do you usually give compliments like ‘you look pretty’?

 

[gameboy]

I don’t get why she got upset—getting angry over a compliment doesn’t make any sense. What’s her deal?

Yeah, I don't get it either. Seemed like a total overreaction. Maybe she misheard? Though I don't see how she could have.

Just curious—do you usually give compliments like ‘you look pretty’?

No, that's not how I normally do compliments... my thinking was, she's looking at her image in the phone and fixing her hair or something, so I thought it would make sense to say she's pretty in these circumstances. Guess it wasn't a great idea.

When I do compliment openers I usually compliment something specific, such as the girl's hair, or a specific item of clothing about her that I like etc.

Almost all girls react happy, or at least neutral. This is the first time that a girl really didn't like it. No idea why, I can't make sense of it.

 

[funkyjam]

Yeah, I don't get it either. Seemed like a total overreaction. Maybe she misheard? Though I don't see how she could have.



No, that's not how I normally do compliments... my thinking was, she's looking at her image in the phone and fixing her hair or something, so I thought it would make sense to say she's pretty in these circumstances. Guess it wasn't a great idea.

When I do compliment openers I usually compliment something specific, such as the girl's hair, or a specific item of clothing about her that I like etc.

Almost all girls react happy, or at least neutral. This is the first time that a girl really didn't like it. No idea why, I can't make sense of it.

Yeah, I don't get it either. Seemed like a total overreaction. Maybe she misheard? Though I don't see how she could have.



No, that's not how I normally do compliments... my thinking was, she's looking at her image in the phone and fixing her hair or something, so I thought it would make sense to say she's pretty in these circumstances. Guess it wasn't a great idea.

When I do compliment openers I usually compliment something specific, such as the girl's hair, or a specific item of clothing about her that I like etc.

Almost all girls react happy, or at least neutral. This is the first time that a girl really didn't like it. No idea why, I can't make sense of it.

Everyone is an individual. With a large enough sample size you’ll get the entire spectrum of responses.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Yeah, I don't get it either. Seemed like a total overreaction. Maybe she misheard? Though I don't see how she could have.



No, that's not how I normally do compliments... my thinking was, she's looking at her image in the phone and fixing her hair or something, so I thought it would make sense to say she's pretty in these circumstances. Guess it wasn't a great idea.

When I do compliment openers I usually compliment something specific, such as the girl's hair, or a specific item of clothing about her that I like etc.

Almost all girls react happy, or at least neutral. This is the first time that a girl really didn't like it. No idea why, I can't make sense of it.

This I am very sure is a problem of a girl not hearing you clearly or understanding your intentions.

Dont mean to put negative thoughts into your head but I know that sometimes these "pass by compliments" can come off like cat calling to girls. Especially to girls who have faced cat calling before.

And just think about it for a second, its very easy to mistake it. You say something quickly before a girl gets a chance to even understand she is being spoken to. Also if you kind of just walk off it feels many times like a catcall because those guys also have no intention of actually talking to women. They just want to say something vulgar.

So though its more of a "commitment", in my experience its always better to do a more full fledged approach.

Which in this case as she was sitting on the beach would be, you walk up to her and crouch down beside her or just get close to her and go:

"Excuse me, I was just walking past here, and I noticed you as you seemed to be checking out how you look on your phone and I wanted to say.... You look very pretty! "

All this said in as slow, calm and composed manner as possible. This gives her time to realise she is being spoken to, and the slower and calmer you are, the more comfortable she gets as her instincts usually figure that you are not a threat and by actually "committing" properly to the approach it comes across more confident, less in a manner of you are trying to hide something and more upfront and gentlemanly.

This makes her feel you connected with her on a "person to person" level rather than her feeling objectified as in you just saw her body and passed a remark that she was not ready for and could very easily mishear or misinterpret.

In my experience, paradoxically I have found that the more you "commit" to the approach, the lesser the chances that you come across as weird and creepy.

I know that I have commented on your journal many a time and I have at several times brought up this point of doing "full fledged" approaches. So I probably sound like a broken record to you by now.

But I still feel the greatest potential for growth for you still lies in you "letting go" and properly putting yourself out there and learning to be okay with getting fully and properly rejected and going through that so that it at the very core changes your identity.

I have found that while initially quite painful, doing this over and over again really brings about a deep identity shift and you begin to taste a kind of freedom that you never experienced before.

Going up to a girl knowing that "you can handle ANY reaction she gives you" is when you know that you have undergone a deep transformation.

 

[gameboy]

Man this rattled me more than I thought initially. I hardly got any sleep last night. This girl was so upset, she might have told her parents or someone about it. Not that I did anything bad, but I'm not sure I can feel safe on the beach any more.

I'm probably not thinking straight... Gotta sort out my thoughts and feelings

 

[KnownUniverse]

I think the issue with this scenario is you didnt stand up for yourself. You framed it as if you have something to hide ("I didn't say anything") instead how you should've framed it - like you didnt do anything wrong: "I was just giving a compliment. Spreading positivity. Why are you being anti-social?".

 

[gameboy]

I think the issue with this scenario is you didnt stand up for yourself. You framed it as if you have something to hide ("I didn't say anything") instead how you should've framed it - like you didnt do anything wrong: "I was just giving a compliment. Spreading positivity. Why are you being anti-social?".

Yes that's true. I'm regretting that in hindsight too. I assumed the guy was her boyfriend and if I repeated to him what I said he might get jealous. But I definitely should've defended myself better and said I was just giving her a compliment.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Man this rattled me more than I thought initially. I hardly got any sleep last night. This girl was so upset, she might have told her parents or someone about it. Not that I did anything bad, but I'm not sure I can feel safe on the beach any more.

I'm probably not thinking straight... Gotta sort out my thoughts and feelings

It was an intense experience for sure, so that's normal.

Having had similar situations what you realise is that generally noone in the city seems to recognise you afterwards as the creep that approaches underaged girls or whatever. At least if it is a big enough place I wouldn't worry about that.

Also generally you didn't push for anything either, so it's not like you harassed her in some way. You literally gave one compliment and left, the rest is her problem.

Regarding the beach, if there is a very specific spot she hangs out and you see her, maybe it makes sense to not go into very bold approaches there, but honestly you are not following them around or creeping up on them, and since you never had this kind of bad experience before, I doubt it will affect your approaches to other girls there.

 

[KnownUniverse]

Yes that's true. I'm regretting that in hindsight too. I assumed the guy was her boyfriend and if I repeated to him what I said he might get jealous. But I definitely should've defended myself better and said I was just giving her a compliment.

You should try talk to dudes as well. Whenever I'm out i try remember to interact with some men here and there so i'm not perceived (either by myself or by others) as a sex pest that's only approaching women.