Gameboy's Journal

[average_daygamer]

Ah, Gameboy, you've finally had that one weird situation where you start to think "is cold approach the right path". Well let me make it easy for you: it is the only path. Once you get past 30, apps are out due to the age (discrimination) filter if you want to get younger girls. Social circle is likely to be your own age anyway. If you are a single guy, without a family, you are out there for yourself, no one else. If your goal is to get laid with 18 year old girls then that is great!

But you have to access them and the only way to do that is by approaching them.

I had a situation where I got into a confrontation with this huge chavy 16 year old when I approached his girlfriend who was walking behind him (whom I thought was 18). That was a couple years into my cold approach journey. Since then I have had a few more confrontations, notably where I had to put a lad on the floor outside a pub.

What these situations teach you is, whether you are in it for real or not. Because ask yourself brother, if not cold approach then what?

Are you just gonna online "date" with women within a few years range of yourself rather than girls who really get your pulse racing and juices flowing?

 

[gameboy]

Lol, overweight 50 year olds from the apps? No thanks!

If I wanted to bang girls my age it would be easy as fuck. (nice pun) But unfortunately I'm just not attracted to them.

I'm not necessarily looking for 18-year-olds either. I mean if I could get one in bed it would probably be lots of fun, and I definitely am not ruling it out. But I don't see myself dealing with immature personalities in the long term

My sweet spot would probably be somewhere between 25-35. But if she's hot and has a good personality, I wouldn't mind a girl in her 40s either. My last gf was 8 years younger than me, so would be 43 by now. I haven't seen her in a couple of years but when we broke up, she was still very doable. Slim, fit body, attractive face, nice long curly hair.

Unfortunately hot single sane 40 year olds aren't super common around here. And since I'm cold approaching anyway, I'm not limiting myself to a specific age range necessarily (though I try to avoid approaching girls that look like teens).

Nah, cold approach is too much fun to give up. I was rattled by that experience for a bit, since the reaction was so extreme. (Not sure how you deal with that shit on a daily basis @average_daygamer. Hope you find a way to make your approaches smoother soon.)

In this case, after reflecting on the incident, I'm pretty sure it was just an extreme case of virtue signaling to the boyfriend. And then of course the guy had to step up and show his girlfriend in turn that he was man enough to confront me. I mean I've been in the same situation 1000s of times, when you have a hot GF it happens all the time that other guys will come up to her and talk to her when you're in the bathroom. (which is what I think happened, because I approached that chick just outside a public restroom. I think he was probably even in earshot. Which is probably why she shouted "what's your problem" so loud.)

Anyway, don't worry guys I'm gonna keep going. Planning to target my approaches a bit better though, and make them smoother.

You should try talk to dudes as well.

Yeah I do that too, but I don't usually cold approach them. There's a few guys I see on the beach frequently, and we chat when our paths cross.

Once I actually cold approach a dude who was wearing a t-shirt of a band I like, but it was kind of awkward. He had this whole "I wonder if he's gay" vibe about him. Not planning to do that too often lol. I don't like being approached by dudes either, especially if their intentions aren't clear immediately.

Some come up and ask me for cigarettes, or weed or whatever. Then I can tell them yes or no or whatever. But I've also had some really weird dudes approach me. Anyone remember the "holobo from" guy? "is good"? Man... I mean if you're gay you can probably get away with saying "asoifhasofiasdfdfsdfsfhsoifhiosd" and still get laid. For us heteros it's a little bit more complicated haha.

It was an intense experience for sure, so that's normal.

Thanks for your support buddy. Much appreciated, it helped a lot

"Excuse me, I was just walking past here, and I noticed you as you seemed to be checking out how you look on your phone and I wanted to say.... You look very pretty! "

Yeah I have used that opener as well. Usually I shorten it a bit though, since I never know which language the girl understands so I mainly just do one sentence for the opener, than wait for her reply to see whether she understands me or whether it's necessary to switch languages. Then once we've established which language we're speaking, if the vibe is good I usually tell them I saw you from over there and wanted to talk to you or something like that.

Regarding intentions, with a bit of distance I don't think the girl that reacted so extremely misunderstood my intentions at all. Girls aren't dumb, they know what's up when a guy approaches them. Though they like to play dumb and will still make you do all the work of seducing them, lol.

Like I wrote above, by now I believe her reaction was an immature, low-EQ version of saying "I have a bf so don't hit on me" (since he was probably right there, within earshot).

 

[gameboy]

Just a quick update since it's been over a month already.

I really want to step up my game again. I had some downtime. It took me about a week to get over the incident with the angry girl and her boyfriend. When I was ready to approach again, I think I did a few approaches but then I got sick for another week. Then I went on a hoilday trip with family, which was awesome, but there wasn't much opportunity to talk to girls either.

I've been doing the odd aproach here and there, but I don't think any really hooked. The other day I had a situation where I was lying next to a girl on the beach, she was hot and was actually giving me very overt AIs. And I couldn't talk to her!! There was a group of teenagers (3M1F) standing right behind her and goofing around, about a meter or two away. That gave me tons of AA, since they'd have seen and overheard everything. I gotta say I found it much easier to approach on the beach in the winter, when it was less packed than now.

Of course I went home kicking myself after I let this one slide. She was a real cutie, slim, petite, some patchwork tats but not too much. And she kept looking over at me. I do get girls signaling from time to time, but it's not like it happens every day. And for some absurd reason it feels even harder to approach them than approaching a girl who seems oblivious of my presence. This makes no rational sense at all.

Maybe I should just aim to get drunk by noon, and then pick up drunk in the evenings? Just kidding. I want to be able to do this without alcohol or drugs, and anyway my tolerance for drinking is at an all time low.

So my plan for the rest of this month is to do at least 1-3 approaches per day just to be warmed up and get some momentum going. In August, it's very hot and humid where I live. When I go out around noon planning to approach, I just want to sit down and rest right away. Most girls walking around don't look like they're enjoying the heat either, so at least it's not like it's just me.

Another thing I noticed when I went out earlier today is that most girls will avoid eye contact like the plague. I think it's because of all the bums running around in the city center who will pester everyone they meet for some money. It's awesome to live in the center of a very beautiful city, but it also comes with its downside.

I know there've been periods in the past where I approached 2-5 girls per day regularly, so it's not like it's impossible. Just need to get over the initial AA again. Impressive how it keeps coming back each time you take break.

 

[average_daygamer]

Two things

1. It's harder to approach a girl giving you AI's because you don't want to mess it up by coming across as a needy weirdo and shatter her image she had of you.

2. I also really struggle in the humidity. After a shift at work, then the gym, all I want to do is sit on a bench and people watch.

I find I need a huge amount of mental energy to cold approach, to overcome the resistance.

Normally my best approaches happend when I hit the high street to just go and approach. It's why I find approaching as part of my day so tiring, as I am normally tired from getting up early and working.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Nice to hear you are doing well!

The other day I had a situation where I was lying next to a girl on the beach, she was hot and was actually giving me very overt AIs. And I couldn't talk to her!! There was a group of teenagers (3M1F) standing right behind her and goofing around, about a meter or two away. That gave me tons of AA, since they'd have seen and overheard everything. I gotta say I found it much easier to approach on the beach in the winter, when it was less packed than now.

I’d say that them hearing you comes with the approach, I understand the feeling though.

Sometimes even if you are totally ok approaching like that, the girl may feel a bit of pressure when she is obviously approached in front of other people taking note of it.

But since she was giving IOIs it should have been fine, probably even better if it was more low key and not a fully obvious direct approach with you standing above her for long.

And yeah there are some situations that you may not feel like approaching much due to a variety of reasons. I believe it is useful to still do few approaches anyway just to keep the habit through that and sooner or later you get more motivated.

Every time I come back to approaching after a while I feel it gets a bit easier than before, that said at this point I prefer regularly doing just one or two approaches, even when I am not much in the mood.

This is to help my brain feel that it is something I am still comfortable doing, and I am simply not particularly motivated right now, instead of having it think that approaching is something I don’t do anymore and a big thing I should be anxious about.

 

[gameboy]

Ran into HBBlueEyes again yesterday evening again, just as I was arriving on the beach. She was on the point of leaving as I arrived, waiting for someone at a public shower. I waited a minute to see who it was, turns out she was with her mom who was visiting from another country.

I said hi, she immediately got up from the bench they both were sitting on, and gave me a very warm hug. Introduced me to her mom, I said hi, then turned back to HBBE and looked her in the eye. Damn she has beautiful eyes. I'm not even into blue eyes usually. But combined with her waist long black hair and deeply tanned skin, they have a striking effect. Maybe it's becuase I know her already, and we have some history of flirting off and on even though nothing "substantial" has ever happend.

She asked me how I'm doing. I told her I'm great. Looked her in the eye again, smiling. It feels like there's a spark. However I don't want to chase her because I tried that twice already. There's really no way to escalate, since we already have each others' numbers. Last time we texted (several months ago), she left me on read for a week or two then replied something like "Awww sorry, I thought I already replied to you! I'm great exams are good (yadda yadda) hope you're having a good week"

I replied sth like, haha no way, glad your exams went well, then told her to come out to the beach one evening to hang out and chill. No reply. I'm 99% sure this girl is taken, because the chemistry is definitely there. And I'm sure she is feeling it too.

So, there was not really much to do for me here. i kept it short and just asked her if the water is clean today, she said it's a bit dirty so I said cool then I'll go to a different part of the beach where it's cleaner. That was about it.

Guess I could have done a little bit more small talk. No point escalating physically though, with the mother there watching. Plus we already have each other's numbers, so no point going for that either. I still enjoyed meeting her, even though it was brief. I've known this girl for years now. When I first met her I was still with the ex, then when I was available it seems like she wasn't. So nothing ever happened.

I want to have this kind of feelings with someone who I'm actually spending time with, and who's available. Life is too short to be wasting it on fanstasies. Gotta go approach more!

 

[gameboy]

Nice hook today in a cafeteria, with 3 girls at a table nearby. 2 of them were good looking, the other one a little chubby but not ugly either. When one of the good looking ones went to the bathroom, I seized the chance and cold read the remaing 2 girls which city they were from. I got it completely wrong, but they were quite open nonetheless and asked me questions back where I was from etc, whether I lived nearby, and such. Chubby girl was leading the conversation, but her friend was smiling at me quite a bit.

I ended the conversation too early. When the more attractive one got up, I assumed the 3 of them were leaving. So I said "All right, nice to meet you!", and as a result, they turned away from me. Turns out that girl was just going to the bathroom, while the other one came back (which was also attractive). So I could have kept chatting.

I often get better reactions than I expect. I guess it's a matter of practice, and lowering my overall anxiousness. Not that I was particularly anxious in this conversation. But at one point for example I realized I was leaning forward all the time since their table was in front of mine. So I leaned back to not look so eager. Which then felt like I was checking out of the conversation. I didn't want to give that impression either, so after a few seconds I leaned forward again. Not sure if they even noticed, but since I'm reading this site I'm paying attention to these little details.

I wasn't really planning to pull any of the girls since it was a 3 set, but they seemed quite open. The more attractive one actually had given me a look when I arrived and sat down at my table. I couldn't quite place that look at first, but turns out she probably found me attractive because she was smiling quite a bit while we talked. She told me at one point she had been to my country, so I could have connected better over that. Asked her what brought her there, what she thought about it, etc.

Always assume attraction! Especially from the hot ones.

 

[gameboy]

Big fail just now.

Walked into the supermarket. Had a very zen energy at that point, feeling relaxed and on top of the world. I was even walking slower than usual. Saw a hot girl in one of the aisles. Like a total 10. Lots of little tattoos. Slim. Cute. Freckles.

However there was a little girl right next to her and I assumed she must be her daughter. AA told me "no way I'm approaching in front of her kid".

Picked up some items, walked to the checkout, and as luck would have it she was right there in line in front of me (without the little girl). Excellent opportunity to open. She even turned around at one point, looking around and past me very calmly. As clear of an IOI as it gets. I'm sure she knew I was interested.

We almost, almost made eye contact for a split second, but I somehow decided to look past her nonchalantly. Let's face it, I had AA. I was thinking about what to say, and decided to compliment her on her belt which was very stylish. But I was waiting for the right moment... Also felt self conscious of opening in front of the gay checkout guy who speaks like he's a woman.

Then she was paying, and I was saying to myself, ok bad moment. Once she's done paying I'll say it.

Of course once she had paid, it was my turn to pay and she was gone. Damn.

Posting this here so I can do better next time. There are so many opportunities... but we need to grab them also!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Big fail just now.

Walked into the supermarket. Had a very zen energy at that point, feeling relaxed and on top of the world. I was even walking slower than usual. Saw a hot girl in one of the aisles. Like a total 10. Lots of little tattoos. Slim. Cute. Freckles.

However there was a little girl right next to her and I assumed she must be her daughter. AA told me "no way I'm approaching in front of her kid".

Picked up some items, walked to the checkout, and as luck would have it she was right there in line in front of me (without the little girl). Excellent opportunity to open. She even turned around at one point, looking around and past me very calmly. As clear of an IOI as it gets. I'm sure she knew I was interested.

We almost, almost made eye contact for a split second, but I somehow decided to look past her nonchalantly. Let's face it, I had AA. I was thinking about what to say, and decided to compliment her on her belt which was very stylish. But I was waiting for the right moment... Also felt self conscious of opening in front of the gay checkout guy who speaks like he's a woman.

Then she was paying, and I was saying to myself, ok bad moment. Once she's done paying I'll say it.

Of course once she had paid, it was my turn to pay and she was gone. Damn.

Posting this here so I can do better next time. There are so many opportunities... but we need to grab them also!

Yeah it’s one of these things that happen and you feel like you lost a once in a lifetime chance.

I think it helps to believe both that this is true and that it is not.

At least it helps me to feel bad just for a tiny bit, because then I get super motivated to approach a lot, to not miss another opportunity like that ever again.

At the same time it helps to stop feeling bad after that tiny bit and realise that there are many women like this one so you will always have more chances.

And this adds to the motivation of taking more action, because now you want to find these other amazing women and make it work with them.

 

[average_daygamer]

Big fail just now.

Walked into the supermarket. Had a very zen energy at that point, feeling relaxed and on top of the world. I was even walking slower than usual. Saw a hot girl in one of the aisles. Like a total 10. Lots of little tattoos. Slim. Cute. Freckles.

However there was a little girl right next to her and I assumed she must be her daughter. AA told me "no way I'm approaching in front of her kid".

Picked up some items, walked to the checkout, and as luck would have it she was right there in line in front of me (without the little girl). Excellent opportunity to open. She even turned around at one point, looking around and past me very calmly. As clear of an IOI as it gets. I'm sure she knew I was interested.

We almost, almost made eye contact for a split second, but I somehow decided to look past her nonchalantly. Let's face it, I had AA. I was thinking about what to say, and decided to compliment her on her belt which was very stylish. But I was waiting for the right moment... Also felt self conscious of opening in front of the gay checkout guy who speaks like he's a woman.

Then she was paying, and I was saying to myself, ok bad moment. Once she's done paying I'll say it.

Of course once she had paid, it was my turn to pay and she was gone. Damn.

Posting this here so I can do better next time. There are so many opportunities... but we need to grab them also!

I really like this post.

It's approaches like these that I just write off. Coming off the self checkout yesterday after work and the gym, I see an hb7 walk out parallel with a guy who I assumed she was with.

I just saw her heavenly figure (if a bit tall and lanky) as I looked up from scanning my shopping. I saw a guy walking about the same pace, parallel.

I wrote off the approach in my mind, but as I was leaving I saw her walking at a leisurely pace down the side of the supermarket where it was kinda secluded and I felt creepy to approach.

After work and the gym I don't quite have the energy to "break through" the mental resistance to approaching that I have.

But I totally could have chased her down and complimented her.

 

[gameboy]

I will take this as a motivator to get some momentum going again.

Approaching is so rewarding when you actually do it! Gotta always remember that.

 

[gameboy]

Quick update since it's the end of August, though not much action to report on really.

I started ramping up the approaches again. The first day AA was huge. Walked around in the heat of the city at mid-day, saying hi to random girls. The first half dozen or so ignored me. I felt like a beggar roaming the streets. Then I got a short smile, then another one that felt a bit more real. Slowly got into it again. Started doing situational openers, and got replies but no real hooks.

I've kept going since then, and done a few approaches each day consistently. (a few= at least 1, best day was around 6 I think).

So that's a positive. One approach I did today was a two set of very young girls (i.e. 20-ish maybe, for me that is very young haha), and they were quite receptive. Did a bit of small talk, they are tourists here so I gave them some sight seeing tips and then let them go. I felt the conversation went stale quickly since I didn't really have any intention behind it except to grease my approaching engine, so to speak. Unfortunately, while I was still talking to them the girl I really thought was hot came walking out of the coffee shop where I had seen them first, and got away.

But I'm slowly gaining momentum again. The weather is slightly less hot and humid, which helps since I got my energy back.

Working on several things currently:

First, I am trying to be smoother in my approaches. For example, yesterday I did a ping I was kind of proud of, with a hottie walking along the shore. There were many people around watching (it was a busy day on the beach), but I don't think any of them even realized I tried to open her. The way it worked out was she was collecting seashells or something, but wearing huge head phones (also sunglasses, and closed body language, definitely fuck off vibes). I stood on the shore where she was going to pass by, and she stopped right next to me to pick something up. So I gave her a compliment while standing next to her, facing the sea but glancing at her from the corner of her eye. She didn't react and walked right on, but I'm glad I gave her a shot. She was quite young also, probably early 20s but no way she was over 25. So I didn't want to open too aggressively. Gotta be a bit careful on this beach since it has far and away the hottest girls. I've checked out some other beaches in this city, no comparison really. So I don't want to burn this beach down as an approach location.

Second thing I identified, but haven't had a chance to work on / test yet: I suspect that when a girl hooks and I sit with her to chat, I touch too much like in the AC/DC song. I have a background coming from night game, where quick physical escalation is much more normal and basically required. But in day game I think it's probably preferrable to use touch more sparingly, to not come across as too thirsty.

And last, my current main sticking point is to open and talk to the girls that actually throw me IOIs. Which does happen from time to time. For some reason I find those so much harder to approach than some random girls that don't show interest.

It's like, I already feel good because of the validation that this girl seems to want me to approach her, so why ruin the feeling by making an approach that risks messing it up and getting me a rejection. Or worst case, it works out, we fuck, then I fall in love with her but she isn't ideal for me beacuse XYZ (some random physical flaw of hers that my mind inevitably comes up with) so do I really want her?

Quite absurd, really. I think the best solution is to keep the momentum up and keep approaching, so when there is one that throws you an obvious chance, you don't have to battle with sky-high AA like it's your first approach ever.

So these are my thoughts for today. This summer was quite slow, but honestly I also needed the break. September is going to be a beautiful month, filled with beautiful women!

 

[gameboy]

Kinda bummed today. Saw this girl on the beach, from some distance. She was sitting by herself, looking out toward the sea. I only saw her from behind, but I decided she looked hot, and like she might be worth approaching. So I parked the bike and walked over to her.

As I unlock my bike and slowly take off, I see this guy sitting with another guy on a bench. He was cranking his head to stare at me as I walked past. I get this from time to time. Happened also before I started doing cold approach.

I'm not sure why people do it, and I find it super disrespectful. Are they gay? Sometimes women do it too though, usually older ones. Do they have some sort of problem with me? I really can't tell.

I ignored the guy and drove off to a different part of the beach, but my mood went from great to shit. Didn't do any other approaches today, even though later I came across a girl that I found quite attractive, but my good vibes were gone and I found I couldn't do it in this state.

Not sure why let stupid shit like this affect me so much. I wish I could be more indifferent to the behaviour of random strangers. I wouldn’t mind it if it was a one-off thing, but it does seem to happen quite frequently that people will just stare at me like I have 2 heads or something. I don’t want to call them out because I think it will only make matters worse. And even if I did get the particular person to back down, the next day it might be someone else staring.

If someone has a solution, or even just some tips on how to deal with this better, I’d love to hear it.

---

As far as approaches go, today I didn’t get any in at all. Yesterday was better. The first one was ablow out, but the second one hooked really easily. However, since I’ve been getting mostly blow outs recently and also had a few days where I didn’t find any girls I wanted to approach at all, I didn’t act decisively enough and the girl left eventually. She was kind of beautiful, but nonetheless I did find her face kind of unattractive. Not as in unattractive per se, but just not a face that did anything for me if that makes sense. Maybe she noticed my hesitation and that’s why she left.

It was a beautiful hook though, we were both standing in the water within hearing distance, I commented something to her about how dirty the water was today, and she immediately came over to stand close to me and seemed quite happy to talk. I think she was a little taller than me even, but with a very nice body. She told me where she was from, I asked whether she’s on holiday and she said she’s in a language school for 2 weeks here. She asked me where I’m from, I told her and said that I moved here a number of years ago. Would’ve been a great setup for a little fling, except I blew it lol.

Anyway, I was quite happy how that girl hooked. The thing is, this happens so rarely that when some girl finally hooks, I’m so surprised by it that it’s hard to get a seduction going.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I’m trying to understand what is the situation exactly. You have random people that happen to see you throughout the day and they decide to stare at you for no obvious reason?

I’d say the times I’ve had something like that happen, my first thought was : “Huh, is he really looking at me, what is the issue?”. Then I may think for a bit if there is something off with the way I look, but generally I will continue what I am doing with a: “Well, whatever who cares” thought.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so intensely affected by someone just looking at me. I mean if I am doing an approach where people are generally looking I may try to not make it too loud and over the top, because it gathers attention that could make the girl uncomfortable too.

That said if they are looking at me, they are free to do so, unless they start coming close to me, or harassing me basically in any way.

I don’t feel there is any reason to make them back down though. People can look at whatever and who knows what they have in mind. I wouldn’t think that a passive observer affects how you live.

So I’d try to think why they really affect you, you feel threatened, or exposed or something else? Because in practice it feels to me that they are simply random people who have no connection to your life and play no part in it really.

Also how exactly do you mean that the other girl left? Were you talking, there was a pause and she excused herself?

I guess it can happen. What helps me if I am not sure that the girl has time to stay and talk is to go for some sort of close fairly quickly. Some sort of compliance maybe saying it better, so that I see if there could be a progression.

But feels normal to me if you were not particularly excited by her, to not even be that much focus on keeping the conversation running.

 

[gameboy]

So I’d try to think why they really affect you, you feel threatened, or exposed or something else?

I think it's mainly I feel it's rude. Sometimes it feels threatening. But it's not like they actually harass me verbally or physically in any way.

It's true, it doesn't really have a direct effect except that it gets my mood down. It feels as if some people assume I have bad intentions or something, when that's absolutely not the case at all. Quite the contrary actually, if anything. It makes me sad, kind of. Sometimes it also makes me angry, if they stare too blatantly.

Like the other day, I was walking down the street in the city center. I crossed the street so I could walk in the shade and not in the sun. Some guy in slightly conservative dess style was walking on the sidewalk I was heading toward, and he looked at me several times, as if he was scared or something. I have no idea why. I didn't do anything threating. It was broad daylight, and there were other people around too. I also wasn't dressed in any particularly edgy way, no leather jacket or anything like that. White t-shirt, black shorts, that's basically it.

Also how exactly do you mean that the other girl left? Were you talking, there was a pause and she excused herself?

Yes, we were talking and I think I told her where I was from and that I lived here, then there was kind of a pause when I looked at her and got that impression that I wasn't really all that attracted. I think the conversation might have continued if I had asked her something or told her my name and shook her hand, or asked her for some kind of compliance. But basically I was a bit slow, and she just started walking off and said well have a good day. Feels like a missed opportunity, since she hooked so easily.

But yes you are right, it's completely normal if I wasn't that excited by her. No need to force anything. It's not a big deal really, I was still quite happy about the approach.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think it's mainly I feel it's rude. Sometimes it feels threatening. But it's not like they actually harass me verbally or physically in any way.

It's true, it doesn't really have a direct effect except that it gets my mood down. It feels as if some people assume I have bad intentions or something, when that's absolutely not the case at all. Quite the contrary actually, if anything. It makes me sad, kind of. Sometimes it also makes me angry, if they stare too blatantly.

Like the other day, I was walking down the street in the city center. I crossed the street so I could walk in the shade and not in the sun. Some guy in slightly conservative dess style was walking on the sidewalk I was heading toward, and he looked at me several times, as if he was scared or something. I have no idea why. I didn't do anything threating. It was broad daylight, and there were other people around too. I also wasn't dressed in any particularly edgy way, no leather jacket or anything like that. White t-shirt, black shorts, that's basically it.

I'd say that if it happens a lot it may be valuable to check how you are projecting yourself, and if somehow your energy really communicates something threatening to others.

That said I feel that not putting a lot of emphasis on it is also important. Unless it actually creates problems when you socialise, meaning that you go and talk to people and they back off or treat you negatively, it isn't something to overthink and invest emotionally in.

 

[gameboy]

I'd say that if it happens a lot it may be valuable to check how you are projecting yourself, and if somehow your energy really communicates something threatening to others.

Oh not at all. People I meet socially usually like me. Most of them anyway.

Unfortunately I rarely meet attractive women through my circles. So I often prefer to go out alone, for the freedom it gives me to approach.

That said I feel that not putting a lot of emphasis on it is also important. Unless it actually creates problems when you socialise, meaning that you go and talk to people and they back off or treat you negatively, it isn't something to overthink and invest emotionally in.

Yes that makes sense. Guess I will reframe this to something like "These people just aren't used to seeing someone as cool as me" ...might sound cheeky, but hey it's probably even true!

 

[gameboy]

Nice hook yesterday on the beach. Similar situation where I saw the girl from the edge of the beach, from behind. I had to park the bike and walk over to her. This time it worked out. I walked over to the seaside first, so as not to approach from behind. Then slowly walked back in front of her. She smiled at me when I was near, so opening was super straightforward and she turned out quite warm and talkative. I sat down next to her and we talked for a while. Found out she's a traveller visiting from Argentina.

I teased her little, and I think it went pretty well, about how she can't be Argentinian because she doesn't have a mate cup. (Argentinians ALWAYS have mate cups). Turns out she actually had one with her, but it was in her bag lol. Se we had some fun with that.

Talked a bit about how I'd love to visit her country, and got her to give me some recommendations. In the end I think I blew it because I qualified her about the wrong thing. She told me she's an event manager, I asked if she organizes concerts and stuff and she said she's more into doing political events nowadays. I remembered the rule about not talking politics so I decided to qualify her instead on that she's people oriented person. I told her I can tell she's quite an open person and I like that, and gave her a high-5 which turned into a hand clasp cause I was sitting a bit to far away to do a proper high-5. I think this may have triggered ASD. Shortly afterwards she said she had to get going, and got up to leave. She asked me my name again and stretched out her hand for a hand shake, but I got up and told her "c'mon give me a hug" so we parted ways with a hug. Didn't feel very warm, but still better than a handshake lol.

Noting this here to not make the same mistake in the future, and in case anyone else around my level reads this - qualifying girls on being open can backfire.

One more observation, I'm pretty sure I saw the same girl talking to someone else before, from towel to towel and it looked like a "getting to know each other on the beach" convo. Which made me a bit self conscious while we talked, since I was thinking "is this the girl that was just flirting with someone lese some moments ago?"

Also I'm thinking I probably could have broken the rule about not talking politics in this case, since it was her job and anyway it would have been interesting to get an Argentinian's view on the politics of her country. I'm not super invested in it since for me it's a far away country (though an interesting one), so I don't think it could have turned confrontational. On the contrary, we could probably have found something to bond over since I believe similarity was missing in this case.

 

[OldGuy]

Nice hook yesterday on the beach. Similar situation where I saw the girl from the edge of the beach, from behind. I had to park the bike and walk over to her. This time it worked out. I walked over to the seaside first, so as not to approach from behind. Then slowly walked back in front of her. She smiled at me when I was near, so opening was super straightforward and she turned out quite warm and talkative. I sat down next to her and we talked for a while. Found out she's a traveller visiting from Argentina.

I teased her little, and I think it went pretty well, about how she can't be Argentinian because she doesn't have a mate cup. (Argentinians ALWAYS have mate cups). Turns out she actually had one with her, but it was in her bag lol. Se we had some fun with that.

Talked a bit about how I'd love to visit her country, and got her to give me some recommendations. In the end I think I blew it because I qualified her about the wrong thing. She told me she's an event manager, I asked if she organizes concerts and stuff and she said she's more into doing political events nowadays. I remembered the rule about not talking politics so I decided to qualify her instead on that she's people oriented person. I told her I can tell she's quite an open person and I like that, and gave her a high-5 which turned into a hand clasp cause I was sitting a bit to far away to do a proper high-5. I think this may have triggered ASD. Shortly afterwards she said she had to get going, and got up to leave. She asked me my name again and stretched out her hand for a hand shake, but I got up and told her "c'mon give me a hug" so we parted ways with a hug. Didn't feel very warm, but still better than a handshake lol.

Noting this here to not make the same mistake in the future, and in case anyone else around my level reads this - qualifying girls on being open can backfire.

One more observation, I'm pretty sure I saw the same girl talking to someone else before, from towel to towel and it looked like a "getting to know each other on the beach" convo. Which made me a bit self conscious while we talked, since I was thinking "is this the girl that was just flirting with someone lese some moments ago?"

Also I'm thinking I probably could have broken the rule about not talking politics in this case, since it was her job and anyway it would have been interesting to get an Argentinian's view on the politics of her country. I'm not super invested in it since for me it's a far away country (though an interesting one), so I don't think it could have turned confrontational. On the contrary, we could probably have found something to bond over since I believe similarity was missing in this case.

As far as her having flirted with another guy, this will serve to start her getting interested in sex, so is a good sign.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Nice hook yesterday on the beach. Similar situation where I saw the girl from the edge of the beach, from behind. I had to park the bike and walk over to her. This time it worked out. I walked over to the seaside first, so as not to approach from behind. Then slowly walked back in front of her. She smiled at me when I was near, so opening was super straightforward and she turned out quite warm and talkative. I sat down next to her and we talked for a while. Found out she's a traveller visiting from Argentina.

I teased her little, and I think it went pretty well, about how she can't be Argentinian because she doesn't have a mate cup. (Argentinians ALWAYS have mate cups). Turns out she actually had one with her, but it was in her bag lol. Se we had some fun with that.

Talked a bit about how I'd love to visit her country, and got her to give me some recommendations. In the end I think I blew it because I qualified her about the wrong thing. She told me she's an event manager, I asked if she organizes concerts and stuff and she said she's more into doing political events nowadays. I remembered the rule about not talking politics so I decided to qualify her instead on that she's people oriented person. I told her I can tell she's quite an open person and I like that, and gave her a high-5 which turned into a hand clasp cause I was sitting a bit to far away to do a proper high-5. I think this may have triggered ASD. Shortly afterwards she said she had to get going, and got up to leave. She asked me my name again and stretched out her hand for a hand shake, but I got up and told her "c'mon give me a hug" so we parted ways with a hug. Didn't feel very warm, but still better than a handshake lol.

Noting this here to not make the same mistake in the future, and in case anyone else around my level reads this - qualifying girls on being open can backfire.

One more observation, I'm pretty sure I saw the same girl talking to someone else before, from towel to towel and it looked like a "getting to know each other on the beach" convo. Which made me a bit self conscious while we talked, since I was thinking "is this the girl that was just flirting with someone lese some moments ago?"

Also I'm thinking I probably could have broken the rule about not talking politics in this case, since it was her job and anyway it would have been interesting to get an Argentinian's view on the politics of her country. I'm not super invested in it since for me it's a far away country (though an interesting one), so I don't think it could have turned confrontational. On the contrary, we could probably have found something to bond over since I believe similarity was missing in this case.

All this is fine. But the most important part is missing in my opinion.

Going for the close!!

"Hey, it was cool, talking to you, how about we grab drinks sometime soon!?".

There is nothing to be lost from saying that sentence. I now say it to any girl who smiles at me and gives me a good reaction even if the interaction lasts less than a minute.

Just this week I went on a date with a girl with whom I had a 2 minutesish akward conversation with during the approach.

While at the same time, a girl who I had a 15 minute flirtatious conversation with ghosted me on text. You just never can fully tell.

So always be closing! At least that is what I would do in your place with these girls.

Opening and closing are the bare bones of cold approach. The conversation in the middle where all the Game is comes after. If you dont do the open and close, whatever qualification, deep diving, teasing etc wont bring any results.