How does a 49 year old virgin make up for what he missed?

[topcat]

Do you have first hand experience with this that you can reference and explain why you would dissuade someone from doing this?

Or are you just making a blanket generalization about something you don't have experience with?

I personally have experience with traditional dating (20s through 30s), sugar dating, and escorting. I can actually speak on all of these from experience.

ain’t no vagina in this world worth a down payment on a house

 

[Starboy]

Here we go again...

 

[Starboy]

Looked her up(out of curiosity) and man, seeing girls like that and knowing all it takes is 1 approach gets me so excited about gaming .

Especially knowing there are incels out there paying THOUSANDS to see her lmao gtfo

Word I just checked her out and she doesn't even look mesmorizing to the point where I would even consider buying her. She's fit,but she's not like omg I must bang even if it costs my month's rent. If simps wanna pay her money for her to spread her legs for them more power to her. She lives in my city too so there's a chance I could cold approach her and get the same experience without paying lol.

 

[ph40]

You're forgetting too that for some of us who have a yearly income of over 7 figures, paying these kinds of sums is kind of like paying $100 for someone who makes an average salary.

Also, for these girls, you would absolutely not be able to cold approach and get it for free. They pretty much only sleep with guys for money. I mean, at that point, if multiple men are paying thousands to sleep with you, why would someone like that ever give it up for free? There is nothing you can offer her that she can't get from someone who pays her for it. There are rich, good-looking guys that are paying, so the "good looking" argument doesn't fly either.

For instance, let's pretend you are a freelance programmer or web designer. And you have multiple clients paying you tens of thousands of dollars for your service. But it takes up a lot of your time. Do you think you'd ever design a website or program an app for free on top of all the paid stuff you're doing? Unless you want to spend all your time doing that one thing, you're probably going to focus more on your actual, professional, business ventures than giving away your talent for free, and instead spend your "Free time" on something that isn't business related.

For this reason, high class escorts, or upper-end sugar babies will rarely be seeing a guy that doesn't provide for her in some way. She might be seeing multiple guys that provide resources for her, but a guy that offers only "conversation and dick" is usually pretty low on her list of priorities.

 

[Warped Mindless]

You're forgetting too that for some of us who have a yearly income of over 7 figures, paying these kinds of sums is kind of like paying $100 for someone who makes an average salary.

Also, for these girls, you would absolutely not be able to cold approach and get it for free. They pretty much only sleep with guys for money. I mean, at that point, if multiple men are paying thousands to sleep with you, why would someone like that ever give it up for free? There is nothing you can offer her that she can't get from someone who pays her for it. There are rich, good-looking guys that are paying, so the "good looking" argument doesn't fly either.

For instance, let's pretend you are a freelance programmer or web designer. And you have multiple clients paying you tens of thousands of dollars for your service. But it takes up a lot of your time. Do you think you'd ever design a website or program an app for free on top of all the paid stuff you're doing? Unless you want to spend all your time doing that one thing, you're probably going to focus more on your actual, professional, business ventures than giving away your talent for free, and instead spend your "Free time" on something that isn't business related.

For this reason, high class escorts, or upper-end sugar babies will rarely be seeing a guy that doesn't provide for her in some way. She might be seeing multiple guys that provide resources for her, but a guy that offers only "conversation and dick" is usually pretty low on her list of priorities.

You just compared seducing women to computer programming. This is why you have to pay for sex…

 

[ph40]

You just compared seducing women to computer programming. This is why you have to pay for sex…

No, I compared being paid to have sex, with being paid to program, or any kind of craft/trade. Being paid to have sex is a craft/trade just like anything else, whether you are a carpenter, a plumber, or programmer, or web designer.

Or pickup guru, like Chase. Chase offers paid services to his clients. How much time do you think Chase spends tutoring men on pickup 1-on-1 for free? If there are people will to pay him to school them on seduction, why should he spend his time, which is valuable, giving it away to men?

Chase has a high level of expertise, and thus value, so he definitely is incentivized to charge for his services, because there is a market demand for that high level of expertise. If he just went on this website and gave free lessons away to anyone who asked, he'd be vastly underselling himself and wasting his valuable time.

Similarly, if a beautiful women just hooks up with guys for free, she's underselling herself because her value and status is high enough that many men will pay her for her affection and love - and not just desperate, low-value men, either. There are millionaire alpha male CEOs, bankers, entrepeneurs, lawyers, and the like, of which I am one, who think nothing of paying a beautiful young woman for her time and her value.

 

[Warped Mindless]

No, I compared being paid to have sex, with being paid to program, or any kind of craft/trade. Being paid to have sex is a craft/trade just like anything else, whether you are a carpenter, a plumber, or programmer, or web designer.

Or pickup guru, like Chase. Chase offers paid services to his clients. How much time do you think Chase spends tutoring men on pickup 1-on-1 for free? If there are people will to pay him to school them on seduction, why should he spend his time, which is valuable, giving it away to men?

You missed the point. “Logically” it may or may not make sense for an escort to give sex away for free but seduction, lust, romance, and feelings aren’t logical. I don’t date sex workers because of the STD risk but I have fucked women from club pulls that I later learned were escorts/sugar babies. Why did they give it to me for free? Seduction.

 

[ph40]

You missed the point. “Logically” it may or may not make sense for an escort to give sex away for free but seduction, lust, romance, and feelings aren’t logical. I don’t date sex workers because of the STD risk but I have fucked women from club pulls that I later learned were escorts/sugar babies. Why did they give it to me for free? Seduction.

Maybe low quality ones who don't have high value and have to settle for less. I doubt you pulled any high end escort / sugar baby as a guy with nothing to offer to her beyond some conversation and dick.

 

[FrothySolutions]

@FrothySolutions,

You’re living too much in the land of fantasy/expectation, and you’re too passively waiting for a push.

I know where you’re at… I commiserate. But for a few rock bottom moments in my early 20s that shook me out of it I might be right there with you.

You feel like you deserve an incredible woman and great sexual experiences. You know you could probably get a mediocre woman. But man, it would be depressing to have to settle for that, and it doesn’t seem like that’d get you any closer to the incredible woman or the incredible sex. Farther away from her and it, really. There doesn’t seem to be a workable route TO that girl and that sex.

So you sit around, feeling frustrated and apathetic, feeling like each passing year you are getting farther and farther from your objective, farther and farther behind, with more and more to do to make up for lost time, but less and less of a path to ever doing it.

The burden of what you “must” do to make up for things has become overwhelming. All the more so because you do nothing whatsoever to chip away at it, and it only grows as time passes.

You need to have one specific realization before you can get out of the hole you’re in:

Given your lack of skill with women, the things you want with the women you want will NEVER happen.

Right now you’re reading that, and it is something I am saying.

You need to think about it over and over until it is something your own mind says and agrees with.

Let it sink in.

Both aspects… not just the “things you want with women will never happen” part, but also the “given your lack of skill with women” part. Take 10 minutes of silence and turn it over in your mind until it clicks.

When it does click, you should have the realization you’re in search of: “The only way to get what I’m after with women is to build this skill. I have to talk to women… I have to flirt with them… I have to ask them out on dates… I have to sleep with them. As I gain experience, I will develop this skill. As I develop the skill, I will begin to get more and more and more of what I want. Eventually I will surpass almost every man around me... all the men who have not devoted themselves to the development of this skill.”

That will start you on the path.

But you need to block out the time to meditate on that until it clicks at a gut level first:

“I will NEVER get what I want with women at the level of skill with them I’m at.”

Focus on that till it clicks. It’s the epiphany that’ll jumpstart all the others you’ll have in the weeks, months, and years after it.

Until it actually clicks in your head and gives you the kind of internal direction, clarity, and motivation you need, nothing anyone says will be of much use.

You must undergo that mental paradigm shift first.

Chase

I heard you were a late bloomer too. We all might have different definitions of "late" but we are the same in that when we feel "late," the priority becomes "How do I make up for what I missed out on?"

But I don't intend to do nothing. I'm here because I'm looking for guidance on what I should do. But first of all I need to know what I should seek. Before I develop the skills I need to get it. Before I learn to climb, I must first realize that mountains are what I want to climb.

If you want to be worth what it takes to fill the void, do your push ups and eat your vegetables like it was everything you ever wanted. There is no skipping boot camp my friend.

Stop trying to figure out how to be happy, happiness is doing what you need to do immediately. You can figure out the rest later on.

I'm already in the iron game and I've sent my selfies to a handful of "objective" beauty raters. I've been working on my fundamentals for a handful of years now. But I still haven't figured out what I need. I mean, I guess being pursued by Instagram models would be a nice purse, but I don't know how to achieve that. And no one here seems to know either. Or want to know.

What Chase said. Actually I loved everyone’s responses. I think you’re way in your head and overthinking.

This is the right place for you if you want to improve your dating life. Perhaps the BEST place. I know of no other like GirlsChase, and the other dating advice sites do not even come close.

That being said, those that grow here, listen and try out the advices (that means actually talking to some women in real life) from the more experienced guys and then come back and share their experiences.

The guys who don’t grow, do not go out and try things out to see how it works. Instead they post their thoughts that are based not experience but mental rumination and what they’ve heard from others and argue with those same experienced guys who are trying to help.

Action then reflection then guidance.

You must take the action
You must reflect on what happened
And then seek out guidance here and you will have very valuable input to start taking more action

This forum could probably teach me "game" and how to "pull," but I don't know if I'm interested in that. Because that would just be dating. It seems so ordinary. It wouldn't make up for what I missed.

Now if I could somehow get women to pursue me? Like on Instagram? I don't know, but I think that's a thing I would want.

There's no going back in time for any of us. Just have to accept things as they are. Like who cares. There are examples of many others' whose lives were cut short. Or others who became para or quadraplegic so the rest of their lives was tragic. I guess the main thing is to go forward with what you can work at. There is no "making up" or "reliving the past in a different way". Like so what. Not all the billions of guys in the world have the same lives. Only a fraction of guys in the whole world actually live in the better first world countries of the western civilized world and in our spoiled and hypergamic cultures. Well, I'm similar to you in a way. Didn't have any sex until 36 , and I'd given up and seen a "provider" already. Which was underwhelming (and I would not recommend to someone new to it, as I have to live with regrets of it for the rest of my life). So now my next goals are for a relationship someday which I still haven't "achieved" yet. But I'm not deluded to think I'll ever have a "full" sex life or multiple gf's like others in their 20's and 30's, nor will I ever "make up for it", nor do I really care. I just want one decent relationship and it doesn't have to be an early 20's attractive female, but if it's not to be, it's ok too, as I'm used to being alone for life in the "worst" case with other goals. Cheers.

That's another thing I think about. Some men, like, get their dicks chopped off. You can't be more incel than having your dick chopped off. There are people facing absolute tragedy, but they find a way forward.

But here's the thing. If you'd like to be a marathon runner, but you lose both of your legs, you have an excuse. There's nothing you could've done to prevent what happened to your legs. No one goes out and seeks to lose their legs. So as unfair as it is to lose them, maybe it's easier to settle for not being a runner if you have no legs.

As arrogant as it sounds, I don't think I have much of an excuse for being where I am now. Nothing I can point to where I can say "There's nothing I could've done to have had sex in my 20s. It was impossible." I feel like I could've, but something went wrong. Something that should not have gone wrong, something I can't excuse. So I owe it to myself to make up for it. This should not have happened, and I have to make it right.

I would just buy a high priced escort, so at least you have the experience of feeling a beautiful young female body.

Spare no expense. Get the one you are most attracted to. Yes. there will not be any real emotional connection, but you will have experienced one of the most beautiful women in the world, physically. That, to me, is worth it, far more than seducing some average or below average looking woman, and getting sex that way.

Ideally, an emotional connection and a long term relationship with someone you are physically attracted to is what you want, but I think in your situation that ship has sailed already. Going down the path of approaching women at this point in your life and learning game might lead you to bed some women, but they will not be of a high physical caliber. It's just not likely to attain a beautiful woman at your age through seduction alone, so unless you have very low standards, I would go the "pay for play" route to experience sex with a beautiful woman (if beauty is important to you, as it is to me).

A high end prostitute might be prettier than the average bear, but there's several reasons why that's not for me.

 

[ph40]

I heard you were a late bloomer too. We all might have different definitions of "late" but we are the same in that when we feel "late," the priority becomes "How do I make up for what I missed out on?"

But I don't intend to do nothing. I'm here because I'm looking for guidance on what I should do. But first of all I need to know what I should seek. Before I develop the skills I need to get it. Before I learn to climb, I must first realize that mountains are what I want to climb.



I'm already in the iron game and I've sent my selfies to a handful of "objective" beauty raters. I've been working on my fundamentals for a handful of years now. But I still haven't figured out what I need. I mean, I guess being pursued by Instagram models would be a nice purse, but I don't know how to achieve that. And no one here seems to know either. Or want to know.



This forum could probably teach me "game" and how to "pull," but I don't know if I'm interested in that. Because that would just be dating. It seems so ordinary. It wouldn't make up for what I missed.

Now if I could somehow get women to pursue me? Like on Instagram? I don't know, but I think that's a thing I would want.



That's another thing I think about. Some men, like, get their dicks chopped off. You can't be more incel than having your dick chopped off. There are people facing absolute tragedy, but they find a way forward.

But here's the thing. If you'd like to be a marathon runner, but you lose both of your legs, you have an excuse. There's nothing you could've done to prevent what happened to your legs. No one goes out and seeks to lose their legs. So as unfair as it is to lose them, maybe it's easier to settle for not being a runner if you have no legs.

As arrogant as it sounds, I don't think I have much of an excuse for being where I am now. Nothing I can point to where I can say "There's nothing I could've done to have had sex in my 20s. It was impossible." I feel like I could've, but something went wrong. Something that should not have gone wrong, something I can't excuse. So I owe it to myself to make up for it. This should not have happened, and I have to make it right.



A high end prostitute might be prettier than the average bear, but there's several reasons why that's not for me.

So I'm going to be honest here, as a 49 year old virgin, you may be able to seduce an average-looking woman at some point, probably over 30, probably a single mother. But there is absolutely no way you will get a beautiful woman in her prime without offering something beyond just seduction. You are too old and too low value for that, so just be honest with yourself and decide on what it is you want and how you can realistically achieve that. Again, at 49, assuming you are not professionally very successful (are you making at least 6 figures in a respectable career?), your chances of finding a beautiful women are slim to none without added value beyond seduction.

 

[Starboy]

No, I compared being paid to have sex, with being paid to program, or any kind of craft/trade. Being paid to have sex is a craft/trade just like anything else, whether you are a carpenter, a plumber, or programmer, or web designer.

Or pickup guru, like Chase. Chase offers paid services to his clients. How much time do you think Chase spends tutoring men on pickup 1-on-1 for free? If there are people will to pay him to school them on seduction, why should he spend his time, which is valuable, giving it away to men?

Difference is what chase does and what other self employed freelancers do is time consuming and actual work that can be stressful and ardous at time. Sex is a pleasurable activity that normal people do(idc if using the word normal to describe non sex workers is offensive everyone's offended by everything). Also it's not a difficult task compared to coaching someone or designing a website.

Just because you couldn't bang sugar babies/ escorts without finances doesn't mean others can't. Warped did,Hector did, @Teevster has and even dated a high priced call girl while she slept with her regular clients.

Maybe low quality ones who don't have high value and have to settle for less. I doubt you pulled any high end escort / sugar baby as a guy with nothing to offer to her beyond some conversation and dick.

Lol you just can't comprehend that other men are able to do what you can't so you have to rationalize and come up with reasons off speculation. The women must have had something wrong with them,daddy issues,low self esteem etc that's why they put out without charging. Your reality is you need to provide money for intimacy with beautiful women,but that is not other people's reality nor do other people want that as their reality. This guy would rather be a old virgin then buy a escort that tells you all you need to know about how most men feel about it.

 

[FrothySolutions]

So I'm going to be honest here, as a 49 year old virgin, you may be able to seduce an average-looking woman at some point, probably over 30, probably a single mother. But there is absolutely no way you will get a beautiful woman in her prime without offering something beyond just seduction. You are too old and too low value for that, so just be honest with yourself and decide on what it is you want and how you can realistically achieve that. Again, at 49, assuming you are not professionally very successful (are you making at least 6 figures in a respectable career?), your chances of finding a beautiful women are slim to none without added value beyond seduction.

This guy is getting IOIs from porn stars and he looks about my age.

Hype (@blackfrecklesrawhype) • Instagram photos and videos

936 Followers, 476 Following, 104 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Hype (@blackfrecklesrawhype)

www.instagram.com

This guy too.

Harry Hype🇻🇮 (@visneakerboy) • Instagram photos and videos

2,930 Followers, 2,132 Following, 19 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Harry Hype🇻🇮 (@visneakerboy)

www.instagram.com

How do they do it?

 

[ph40]

Difference is what chase does and what other self employed freelancers do is time consuming and actual work that can be stressful and ardous at time. Sex is a pleasurable activity that normal people do(idc if using the word normal to describe non sex workers is offensive everyone's offended by everything). Also it's not a difficult task compared to coaching someone or designing a website.

Actually, providing the "girlfriend experience", what the best escorts and sugar babies do, can be just as stressful and arduous. It is like being an actress for hours at a time, providing the best, most enjoyable experience beyond just the sexual, to a client. In fact, I'd say that what the best GFE women do is *more difficult* than consulting as a men's seduction expert.

Just because you couldn't bang sugar babies/ escorts without finances doesn't mean others can't. Warped did,Hector did, @Teevster has and even dated a high priced call girl while she slept with her regular clients.

All hearsay. I can't judge the quality or business prospects of these particular women without seeing them or knowing who they are, which we won't get into here.

Needless to say, there are a lot of desperate low quality escorts and sugar babies out there, who either have low value or do not appreciate their value, and yes, you can get them without paying, just like you can get a candy bar from a grocery store without paying for it too.

Lol you just can't comprehend that other men are able to do what you can't so you have to rationalize and come up with reasons off speculation. The women must have had something wrong with them,daddy issues,low self esteem etc that's why they put out without charging. Your reality is you need to provide money for intimacy with beautiful women,but that is not other people's reality nor do other people want that as their reality. This guy would rather be a old virgin then buy a escort that tells you all you need to know about how most men feel about it.

I don't need to provide money for intimacy... I can obtain women traditionally, but I find that with extremely beautiful. model-esque women, it is much easier to facilitate this with extra resources, that I have an abundance of. Don't be jealous that you don't have the funds to actually provide anything more than conversation and dick to a beautiful woman.

 

[topcat]

paying $100

still too much

 

[topcat]

So I'm going to be honest here, as a 49 year old virgin, you may be able to seduce an average-looking woman at some point, probably over 30, probably a single mother. But there is absolutely no way you will get a beautiful woman in her prime without offering something beyond just seduction. You are too old and too low value for that, so just be honest with yourself and decide on what it is you want and how you can realistically achieve that. Again, at 49, assuming you are not professionally very successful (are you making at least 6 figures in a respectable career?), your chances of finding a beautiful women are slim to none without added value beyond seduction.

OMG ban this guy already..

 

[Rakehell]

This guy is getting IOIs from porn stars and he looks about my age.

Hype (@blackfrecklesrawhype) • Instagram photos and videos

936 Followers, 476 Following, 104 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Hype (@blackfrecklesrawhype)

www.instagram.com

This guy too.

Harry Hype🇻🇮 (@visneakerboy) • Instagram photos and videos

2,930 Followers, 2,132 Following, 19 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Harry Hype🇻🇮 (@visneakerboy)

www.instagram.com

How do they do it?

Strong inner confidence. Self fulfilling prophecies probably. If you think every girl thinks you’re the shit, a nasty glare is just her way of saying “come over here”.

When your frame is strong enough you start willing people around you unconsciously.

 

[FrothySolutions]

Strong inner confidence. Self fulfilling prophecies probably. If you think every girl thinks you’re the shit, a nasty glare is just her way of saying “come over here”.

Self-fulfilling prophecies? But I mean, what actual practical physical steps do guys like this take, where the end result is Onlyfans models are following them and filling their feed with "Damn Papi " and harassing them for dick?

 

[Rakehell]

Self-fulfilling prophecies? But I mean, what actual practical physical steps do guys like this take, where the end result is Onlyfans models are following them and filling their feed with "Damn Papi " and harassing them for dick?

just glancing at their pages I can objectively say they probably aren’t special guys in particular. But you can tell THEY think theyre special, just from their expressions, posture, number of posts, how they pose, etc.

Girls look at behaviors, and if I had to guess they probably saw those guys as confident or as having something to offer, because they act like it, not because its true

 

[ph40]

This guy is getting IOIs from porn stars and he looks about my age.

Hype (@blackfrecklesrawhype) • Instagram photos and videos

936 Followers, 476 Following, 104 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Hype (@blackfrecklesrawhype)

www.instagram.com

This guy too.

Harry Hype🇻🇮 (@visneakerboy) • Instagram photos and videos

2,930 Followers, 2,132 Following, 19 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Harry Hype🇻🇮 (@visneakerboy)

www.instagram.com

How do they do it?

These guys both look like hip hop stars, they have a strong pop culture appeal to thots.

 

[Warped Mindless]

Self-fulfilling prophecies? But I mean, what actual practical physical steps do guys like this take, where the end result is Onlyfans models are following them and filling their feed with "Damn Papi " and harassing them for dick?

Chase has book called “How to make girls chase.” it’s under $50 bucks. Go buy, read it, and go talk to women.

Along the way upgrade your style and get a gym membership.

You are out approaching women you will notice patterns that pop up over and over again of things that cause you problems or things your don’t understand. These are called “sticking points.“ Come here and ask us about these sticking points and then go out and apply the advice we give you.

The rest is all mental masturbation right now.

edit: if you prefer not to read, @Chase also has a video course.