My post break up journey

[Atlas IV]

But I have no interest in writing field reports. The whole thing is just cringe.

Writing field reports is how you get better. If you're not interested in writing them, it means you're not interested putting in the work to get better.

200 approaches and no results is not normal. You are doing SOMETHING wrong, and it might be an easier fix than you think.

If I or another experienced member here were to meet you in person, we would be able to diagnose it pretty quickly. Since that's not possible, field reports is the next best thing.

This is like a doctor trying to diagnose a patient knowing nothing about them, basically.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Writing field reports is how you get better. If you're not interested in writing them, it means you're not interested putting in the work to get better.

200 approaches and no results is not normal. You are doing SOMETHING wrong, and it might be an easier fix than you think.

If I or another experienced member here were to meet you in person, we would be able to diagnose it pretty quickly. Since that's not possible, field reports is the next best thing.

This is like a doctor trying to diagnose a patient knowing nothing about them, basically.

Chances are I’ve been doing Daygame longer than you, given that I’ve started in 2009. So one thing I don’t lack is experience, after thousands of approaches.

I wrote in my original thread that I used to get much better results (ie lays) back in the day a decade ago. Since the advent of dating apps these results fell off a cliff. That’s one thing. There were some other guys I met in Daygame who also reported exact same thing: their success went down in recent years. I also wrote I consistently get better results in other cities and countries. This was the case 15 years ago, and is the case now.


The second thing is : what’s a result to you? A first date? A lay? A phone number? And what level of investment on any particular woman are you willing to commit to , in order to achieve this result? Are you willing to take bullshit instagram contacts and play the waiting game? I am not.

Are your approaches bold and sexual, or at least with a strong connation of "seeding" an intimate encounter in near future (e.g. do you propose a drink at your place when you meet them in daygame?) I pitch for this majority of the time.

Are you willing to come on a date with a woman when it seems she was a bit lukewarm about you previously? I’m not.

Are you willing to come on a date with a woman where a priori it’s far from clear if she’s definitely open to fucking you on that date? I’m very, very reluctant.

Do you have easy logistics that allow you to pull women to your place easily? I don’t. I can’t even invite them to mine. This leaves their place or a hotel as the only option.


Due to all these reasons, I had to reduce my approaches to a basic , minimalist strategy that aims to filter out chicks who are super down to get down and dirty on the first date, or even on “insta date” so to speak.

The only result that matters to me is dick in pussy (or any other of her orifices). I don’t count numbers or dates or make outs as results. And I’m not very interested in setting up dates in neutral “locations", unless I am really into her and she is into me. I had enough of my time wasted and dates with women who were there just for the experience but were not interested in fucking me back in my younger days.

 

[Atlas IV]

e.g. do you propose a drink at your place when you meet them in daygame?) I pitch for this majority of the time.

Are you willing to come on a date with a woman where a priori it’s far from clear if she’s definitely open to fucking you on that date? I’m very, very reluctant.

Ok I think I'm getting the picture.

You are doing daygame and treating it like nightgame. Basically filtering for DTF girls during the day who have no ASD and are willing to go straight to a guy's house for sex under no pretenses.

Yes, doing 200 or even 1000 approaches like that will probably get you nothing. It's about the most inefficient method of game I can imagine. You're spam approaching for girls who are ovulating or have high sex drive and no ASD, basically.

Do you have easy logistics that allow you to pull women to your place easily? I don’t. I can’t even invite them to mine. This leaves their place or a hotel as the only option.

And to top it off, you don't even have logistics sorted.

I mean really man. Face. Palm.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Ok I think I'm getting the picture.

You are doing daygame and treating it like nightgame. Basically filtering for DTF girls during the day who have no ASD and are willing to go straight to a guy's house for sex under no pretenses.

Yes, doing 200 or even 1000 approaches like that will probably get you nothing. It's about the most inefficient method of game I can imagine. You're spam approaching for girls who are ovulating or have high sex drive and no ASD, basically.


And to top it off, you don't even have logistics sorted.

I mean really man. Face. Palm.

Yeah you are getting the picture. I am not filtering for DTF during the day all the time of course, but this was the dominant style for years now. This led to quite a few same day lays, instant makeouts, things like this.

Logistics have been fucked for about 7 years now. Not easy to sort out. Since 2018 I've been living with my mother who was sick and I was helping her. She passed away 3 years ago and since then I was involved in a legal battle to keep the place for myself. Spent thousands on legal fees and other costs. So renting a second place at the same time just for the purpose of fucking women is not an option . My place is very far from central London, and far from any viable day game or nightgame location. In suburbia where transport links aren't great. And there are other difficulties as well.

So yeah: I basically had no place to fuck for 7 years. Had to resort to going to girls' places (which are often not an option) or a hotel / AirBnB which also heavily raises ASD in many women.

Hence a part of the reason for my filtering was due to these issues.

And to top it off, no matter how you approach, most women aren't gonna be interested anyway. So results are always gonna be low.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

You are doing daygame and treating it like nightgame. Basically filtering for DTF girls during the day who have no ASD and are willing to go straight to a guy's house for sex under no pretenses.

Essentially yeah.

Even forgetting my shitty logistics, I simply got bored of going down the conventional route of a traditional date many years ago. I don't like "dates" with a girl who I haven't fucked yet, especially if this date is unlikely to lead to fast sex.

I don't want to spend my time with girls who are gonna be sizing me up on a date, who may put up all sorts of "games", who are gonna be flaky, who might be on the date just for entertainment, girls who have some internal agenda to only fuck on date number X, or whatever. I got sick, bored, and impatient with all this well over a decade ago, after laying my first 10 women or so.

And even if I tone it down, I noticed that 99% of women in London aren't gonna be interested in coming on a "conventional date" anyway, no matter how I approach them. The ones who come usually give you strong IOIs before the approach. Otherwise you are just a random guy who talked to them, no matter how suave or cool you appear, and with the amount of over stimulation a typical woman gets nowdays from social media, dating apps etc, she just ends up ignoring you or flaking. That was the reality for me for years.

 

[StrayDog]

especially if this date is unlikely to lead to fast sex.

This is a mental limitation. who says the dates won't lead to fast sex?

Besides day game is mostly about converting to a date, then converting the date to a lay.

Same day lay is the rare exception.

You are leaving a lot on the table with this mentality

 

[StrayDog]

And even if I tone it down, I noticed that 99% of women in London aren't gonna be interested in coming on a "conventional date"

again who is setting the frame of "conventional date"? You?

most of my lays have been from day game converted to date, then date converted to lay.

If you're getting shot down 99% of the time you're doing something off.

 

[StrayDog]

Otherwise you are just a random guy who talked to them, no matter how suave or cool you appear,

sounds to me like you're not building momentum that carries over to texting.

the amount of over stimulation a typical woman gets nowdays from social media, dating apps etc, she just ends up ignoring you or flaking.

sounds to me like you haven't locked down your texting process.

Some women will ignore, yes. But you should also have girls that pretty immediately engage, and then beyond that girls that are relatively simple to get out.

Some girls will flake yes.

There are methods for keeping momentum going on warm leads, and re ignited old leads that fell off.

I have converted many girls that fell off, end up going on dates, or laying. Even had girls fall off then I reignite they straight up invite me directly to bed, just like that.

you saying writing field reports is cringe just tells me you aren't exactly looking for real feedback on your process. Which judging by your results is obviously lacking.

 

[StrayDog]

I don't want to spend my time with girls who are gonna be sizing me up on a date, who may put up all sorts of "games", who are gonna be flaky, who might be on the date just for entertainment, girls who have some internal agenda to only fuck on date number X, or whatever. I got sick, bored, and impatient with all this well over a decade ago, after laying my first 10 women or so.

sorry bruv, this just the name of the game. Don't like it, don't do it. There are other ways to meet women than cold approach, but it doesn't seem like you have those methods quite dialed in yet either. And besides, women be women no matter what methods you use to seduce them.

Plus all these things you sight here are things you can ultimately work around with some women.

Some women won't be sizing you up, but instead be hoping they are good enough for you

Some women might go on the date just for entertainment then decide it would be entertaining to sleep with you.

Some women have an internal agenda to only fuck on x date, then they make an acception for YOU.

So, you can tell yourself all you want the juice ain't worth the squeeze, but maybe you're just squeezing the wrong fruit.

 

[Atlas IV]

Some women won't be sizing you up, but instead be hoping they are good enough for you

Some women might go on the date just for entertainment then decide it would be entertaining to sleep with you.

Some women have an internal agenda to only fuck on x date, then they make an acception for YOU.

This is like 95% of my lays. Very rare do I get a girl who I know it's a sealed deal with from the get go.

And in fact, it's impossible to ever know if it's a sealed deal. If you're convinced it is, it's probably not and you're just being misled. Flirty girls are often the most resistant to sex.

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

This is like 95% of my lays. Very rare do I get a girl who I know it's a sealed deal with from the get go.

And in fact, it's impossible to ever know if it's a sealed deal. If you're convinced it is, it's probably not and you're just being misled. Flirty girls are often the most resistant to sex.

You definitely can tell if a girl is a sealed deal. It's possible but you wont be able to majority of the time. However, it has happened a bunch of times for me to know it's very much possible. And it's already a fact that flirty girls give loads of resistance. Flirtiness especially when over top is certainly NOT a criteria for a girl that's a sealed deal

 

[HeartOfChaos]

sounds to me like you're not building momentum that carries over to texting.

sounds to me like you haven't locked down your texting process.

Some women will ignore, yes. But you should also have girls that pretty immediately engage, and then beyond that girls that are relatively simple to get out.

Some girls will flake yes.

There are methods for keeping momentum going on warm leads, and re ignited old leads that fell off.

I have converted many girls that fell off, end up going on dates, or laying. Even had girls fall off then I reignite they straight up invite me directly to bed, just like that.

you saying writing field reports is cringe just tells me you aren't exactly looking for real feedback on your process. Which judging by your results is obviously lacking.

You don't need "momentum" to carry over to texting. I use texting to schedule a meeting with a new woman. If she isn't seriously sexually interested in me, she is not gonna respond to texts.

Regarding girls falling off, disappearing and reappearing, yep, had all that. Nothing new to me here.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Reaching the end of my tether with daygame. Did about 20 more approaches this week so far.

Nothing at all, except a possibly flaky number of some chick I am not that interested in (due to her background). They mostly react positive, smile, all this shit. But they all say boyfriend / not interested / can't / leaving the country tomorrow / any other excuse.

And that's what I get 99% of the time, field tested over many years of probably thousands of approaches in London. And no, these approaches are not all super direct sexual, they are all kinds, direct, indriect, situational, I tried all sorts. And I look better than majority of guys - tall, in shape, dressed well.

One thing that could let me down is my thick foreign accent, that hasn't really changed despite me being here since childhood.

 

[StrayDog]

You don't need "momentum" to carry over to texting. I use texting to schedule a meeting with a new woman. If she isn't seriously sexually interested in me, she is not gonna respond to texts.

Regarding girls falling off, disappearing and reappearing, yep, had all that. Nothing new to me here.

don't need it. but it sure helps.

maybe it's just something else I am doing that is getting more consistent results than what you're doing. maybe it's not "momentum"

 

[HeartOfChaos]

don't need it. but it sure helps.

maybe it's just something else I am doing that is getting more consistent results than what you're doing. maybe it's not "momentum"

i suspect 99% of women just don’t fancy me because I have incredibly tired looking eyes / eye bags - I have a chronic eye strain problem from digital monitors that makes me appear slightly cross eyed, make my under eye area puffy and ugly pink colour. It’s so bad that even my former female work colleagues at one of my previous jobs years ago (when I first joined them) switched from clearly checking me out and showing very visible clear signs of fancying me to asking me if I’m feeling ok and commenting that I look really ill , just after a few days of 9-5 standard work. Literally several days of standard white collar work makes a big, big difference in terms of how healthy and good I look.

And this is not an isolated incident, as multiple male acquaintances have also commented that I look "super tired", just after a day or 2 of sustained computer work.

To be honest it’s so bad that I shouldn’t even be spending time on a computer or smart phone typing this message now - this is also my reluctance to writing field reports. I tried all sorts of fixes and saw many ophtalmologists, but they were unable to fix it. It's basically neurological hypersensitivity to direct artificial digital light sources. So the only time I actually recover is when I am vacation away from monitors of any kind.

But short of quitting my job and living on the street, there's not much I can do.

I also think that my heavy accent puts some (maybe a lot) women off when I approach them . I sound like an illegal immigrant who arrived by the boat across the channel yesterday, despite living here since I was 10.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Around 300 approaches now. Still no options. Well, maybe a couple of potential options, but not the sort of ones I’m actually interested in.

I am having a harsh reminder of the nightmare reality of London Daygame I had to endure for years before meeting my ex.

 

[KnownUniverse]

london is a dream location for me. It looks much easier than gaming in Wellington. See what i mean (set it to 2x speed):

You can still get laid from cold approach in a mid sized city like Wellington but the lack of volume of single hot girls in travel mode makes it much harder. 80% of the hot girls I approach during the day are locals on their way home from work/lunch break/meeting a friend (strong asd/cliquey attitude) or something. I'll be lucky to get them to stop and talk for a few seconds if they stop at all. Many times they'll look at you like you're crazy for trying to talk to them. Girls from overseas or even out of town are a lot more receptive. Wish there was a high volume of them in my city.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Did a few more approaches. Approached one American girl who turned out to be in London till December, taking time off work. Nearly got a make out with her on the street after a few mins of talking, but sorta chickened out. American girls are very approachable and easy from my experience to fuck. I fucked a few of them on a first date before - you american guys are lucky and have it easy.

Americans in general seem much friendlier and open to strangers, no wonder you guys who live in USA who are commenting on my posts are wondering how one could go through hundreds of approaches and no lays. Same for those of you who are travelling in Latin america or Asia, where your SMV (if you are a white guy) is through the roof and you are naturally deemed desirable - it's nothing to do with "game".

Could have invited her on a date then and there, but I was so surprised to get a strong positive response that I didn't do it and shot myself in the foot. Asked her for a drink tomorrow (i.e. Wednesday) night instead. She enthusiastically said yes. Texted her earlier today, no response.

Fuck this shit, seriously. This girl was very into me and now she's not replying. I feel like I am making similar mistakes over and over the years, but not learning from them, or rather simply pussying out and not following my instincts.

I feel like this break up, me pouring my heart and soul into this girl only to be brutally dumped, chronic health issues that affect my looks and make me very self conscious (eye bag area) and recent 300 failures in a row (and also thousands from previous years) have ruined my confidence that I am not even expecting anything positive anymore. And I am usually an enthusiastic and positive guy (at least I was a lot of the time).

I am reaching rock bottom.

 

[mirror]

I am reaching rock bottom.

You are fine. Just human. And that's a great thing to be. Dont forget that.
You know stuff, but you also know how you feel.

Look I have left a few chicks I could have slept with the past days. Made no move to escalate either, because you know what? You know it too. If someone is worth your time and energy, you just feel it. You are still recovering and healing. That's normal and okay

Dont judge yourself over it.
Just know the phase will pass. Life is not a static. Life is a dynamic and a flow. What is meant to be will come at our path if we allow it. Just focus on what is of.importance to you right now, which may be something as simple as having a glass of water and some good feel good.movie or a good workout, a great night's rest or whatever is needed to make you feel good

 

[fury661]

Writing field reports is how you get better. If you're not interested in writing them, it means you're not interested putting in the work to get better.

200 approaches and no results is not normal. You are doing SOMETHING wrong, and it might be an easier fix than you think.

If I or another experienced member here were to meet you in person, we would be able to diagnose it pretty quickly. Since that's not possible, field reports is the next best thing.

This is like a doctor trying to diagnose a patient knowing nothing about them, basically.

Guy says that he doesn't like field reports because they are "cringe."

Guy says he has more approaches than the rest of the forum combined.

Guy makes a few comments about what he has been doing.

Community quickly diagnoses the problem.

Guy ignores the diagnosis and starts making excuses about how the game has changed.

Guy then does more approaches using the same strategy.

Guy gets discouraged about results.

@HeartOfChaos ... my brother... listen to these guys! They have your best interests at heart!