@KnownUniverse,
You end up walking the streets solo like a predator gate crashing friend groups and going through constant rejection.
The other options is drugs and substance abuse. My cousin in his 50s drinks and takes stimulants during night game to keep his energy up. That's another aspect a lot of guys won't mention when they say they still live like they're in their 20s. You don't know exactly how they are living.
All right, what I am getting here is, "I don't want to cold approach."
Because it sounds like day game without a wing is undesirable for you (btw,
it does not need to be 'predatory'), and you don't have the energy for night game.
FWIW, I knew plenty of guys whose nightlife pickup regimen while in their 20s consisted of "do a whole lot of coke"... we also have guys on the Boards here, such as
@Skills,
@West_Indian_Archie, and
@D. Gately, who do nightlife in their 50s and so far as I know the extent of what they put into their bodies is a couple of drinks.
However, the other major in-person option, social circle, you are ALSO negative about:
The problem is that it pretty becomes a massive effort especially if you don't have wings or a virbant social community to join
First off -- there are a ton of guys in their 30s and 40s with vibrant social lives.
I used to hang with a group of people in their 20s and 30s, including some pretty hot girls, but there was also this one old dude in his 60s who'd always be at the parties too. He wasn't trying to mack (or if he was, he was pretty stealth about it), but he was deep in that party group.
It is a bit easier to fall into social groups without trying as much in your 20s, simply because there are a lot more singles. Once you are into your 30s, a lot more of the folks your age are married and starting families and aren't going out anymore. Many more are deep into their careers and don't have as much interest in socializing. So your pool of potential friend groups shrinks.
However... if you are looking for them, you will still find them. That 44-year-old mentorship student of mine wants to rebuild his social circle at the same time he is learning day game (sometimes with a wingman, sometimes solo). He goes to multiple events per week, keeps meeting more people, and is extending his social circle every week. FYI, this guy has a demanding career and only has about 10 hours to spare on socializing each week. He now has no shortage of events and is also meeting women through friends he's met through this circle (most of the women he meets via social circle are around his own age, but he's also not really that concerned with meeting younger girls. If he was, he'd probably be building social circles with younger people in them).
OTOH, there are also plenty of dudes in their 20s with zero social networks. Look up "incel community" as just one example.
No matter the age, if you aren't making the effort to be social, you are not going to have people around.
It is somewhat easier to float along like driftwood and get pulled into things when you are younger, that is true.
But if you choose to follow an unconventional life path, and you are still living a bachelor lifestyle past the age many people retreat from the social scene, you are going to need to approach things more proactively.
That may mean:
- Learn day game
- Learn night game
- Learn social circle game (and build a social circle)
- Learn dating app game
But you are going to have to
pick one of those and
do it.
If you are not going to pick one... well... the period of time when you could just drift and maybe get results is past.
(FYI, the only time I ever had much of anything getting regularly thrown in my lap just by 'drifting along' was junior high... after I turned 15 it never much happened to me again. If it was still happening to you in your 20s, lucky you!)
I forgot the other one -- build a woman pipeline (like what
@D. Gately did with
his unpaid intern lays, or what another student of mine had going at one point arranging for his beach house being the drop-off point for party buses at the end of the night for after-parties, or what I did
when I started hosting parties for a community full of cool dudes & hot girls).
But yeah, those are the options.
That's a lot of options.
All of them take work. Especially at the
beginning when you don't have skills and don't have a network and have to build it all up from scratch.
If you're too tired to do any of those, though, then a.) you aren't motivated enough for it (
this might help... maybe) and/or b.) you need to clear your schedule of some other stuff that is sapping your energy so hard so that you have the bandwidth to get started.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
Any guy who is older and not active socially and not getting results, and lacks the social abilities and network:
What were you doing when you were younger?
If it was "easier" when you were younger,
where were you?
I guess you should've been out there building these skills then... but I bet if we went and hopped into the time machine and went back to talk to you back then, you'd have had some other excuse:
"Blah blah I can't because blah blah [whatever]."
The fact is, it doesn't matter if something is harder or easier now than it would have been theoretically had you done it 10 or 20 years earlier,
if you did not do the thing 10 or 20 years earlier. The only time that would matter would be if you could send a postcard to your past self that said, "Dear Me: start NOW!" and your past self would actually listen to that (
would he have? Press "X" to doubt). Otherwise, it's irrelevant.
All this talk about "Would it have been easier for me had I started at XYZ age?" is just a bunch of
mental masturbation.
Cool guys fuck. Lame guys come up with a laundry list of excuses for why they couldn't possibly fuck.
Chase
This is getting ridiculous. Best of luck to you my friend, I have no argument with you.
www.skilledseducer.com
