Oh, I am taking off a couple of weeks anyway now, so no intention to see her till like mid September.
Of course back in May I ignored her break up attempt then and continued almost like nothing happened with communication and sex in a few days. This time it's gonna be exponentially harder, I reckon, as I basically fell into her frame by accepting her latest break up.
Yeah that's the real problem with breakups, the emotions are so strong that it's very very hard to do things correctly, especially immediately after it hits.
In my last relationship, once it became clear that things were at an impasse (she wanted relationship advancement and I wasn't interested in doing that just yet), I told her that I needed a week to clear my head and only responded minimally to her in that time. It's amazing how things look differently once the raging emotions die down. (I did make some reactive mistakes before that, heated arguments, reactive/indecisive communication, etc, but fortunately got myself under control).
It's a very strong negotiating move to request a timeout, it communicates a lot of good things. It's a dominant move in the sense that you are setting the course of things, even if that course is to wait. You care about things enough to have an emotional reaction, but you've got the self awareness and control to hold yourself back from doing anything stupid until you know what's the right move - this combination of emotional availability and self control is the fundamental attribute of a good leader and women respond very strongly to it. Also, it puts her in a much more receptive state as she wonders what your move will be.
So what you propose seems like it's hard to achieve - not sure how open she is to meet and be re-seduced after all this. But could be worth a shot.
If she's not open to meet, as hard as it is to accept, the relationship is over and you'll need to move on.
Interesting how you don't think no-contact is best option.
It's partly because I don't think it's the best option and partly just my preference. I know that pretty women have guys circling around and I'm not going to let a bunch of them enjoy themselves while she figures out that she really wants me after all. I know how emotionally vulnerable women are post breakup - probably the best sex I've ever had was after a breakup too. The emotions and need for intimacy is super strong.
Also, I like to retain control of the situation. When you have a short timeout, you're still actively working to resolve things, it's just a breather. But if you just go no contact you are basically letting her decide when the deal is going to be made. I can't let important aspects of my life be determined at the whim of someone else. And I have a strong aversion toward wishy washy, unenthusiastic behavior in people - I like to see courage, forthrightness, and decisiveness.
The post Chase wrote on it is great and pretty much all the points ring true for me.
Why do you think she would bring up obstacles if interested?
Because that's what women do when they are open to something and you are leading them somewhere, they are either following your lead or verbalizing obstacles in some way.
Women are creatures of compulsion, they are compelled by a lot of different things that sometimes oppose eachother, and they prefer not to have the responsibility of figuring out what to do, as long as their needs are met. So they just let the obstacles bubble up and see if you can fix them.
