Just skimmed all the posts after the LR,
@Kaida. I'm pretty sick right now and the room feels slightly spinning but let me give you some thoughts.
First off, like everyone said, you gave her some insensitive sex, then chased when she pushed back on meeting a bit. Chasing might sound like "too much attainability" (and in many instances it is), but in this case it's actually attainability minus:
- Sex hurts so she needs you to be gentle/considerate. You weren't. Minus attainability.
- She communicated wanting to chill a bit, but you just chased and pushed anyway. Again, minus attainability.
The whole thing comes across as "my, my, my, me, me, me", which is... well, it is good to be the confident man who goes for what he wants, but nobody wants the guy who just barrels around knocking into them saying, "Yeah that's great what you said anyway let's do what I want!"
(actually that's not true, there are some LSE girls that respond really well to that)
If I had to guess where this girl's headspace is at, it is, "Wow, I think I had Kaida wrong. I thought he was cool but he's actually just a poon hound. All he wants is to smash."
Impromptu Zen koan: by not being insistent upon smashing again, the resolute disciple can smash again.
IMO, this girl needs you to back off, raise attainability, then completely re-seduce all over again from scratch.
If it was me, I'd text or audio message a very self-aware, conciliatory, attainability-raising "wow he's changed"
ball-in-her-court text, given how much
negative compliance you've built with her and how many declined meetups you have now (looks like at least a couple):
hey [her name], hope your [something she's doing] is excellent. hey just realized i've been blowin up ur phone and i'm like... lol, this is totally not me, this girl has me under a spell or something, haha. anyway i don't wanna keep bombarding & i've got a lot of social & biz stuff going on that i should probably focus on. mea culpa if u were like "kaida again!" lmao. anyway if you wanna talk or hang drop me a line sometime, no pressure. meantime, i'ma get re-focused on the grind 
Then you just DO NOT CONTACT HER AT ALL on your own for at least 3 weeks (preferably 4).
Meantime, you go pound the pavement hard to
replace her with other girls to break out of your oneitis and make sure if she does come back you've got your head screwed on straight and don't just do the same thing all over again.
TWO WAYS IT GOES
... if you send that text (it could also be an audio message):
#1, she gets in touch N days later (most likely 4-14), with a very reflective tone, communicating that she thinks she maybe had you wrong, and that actually maybe she CAN have the kind of relationship with you she wants.
She is neither sold nor converted at this point; she is simply open to being re-seduced.
If that happens, your WHOLE ATTITUDE is "whatever you want. We can meet up if you want or not if you want. We can just talk if you want. No pressure. You're in the driver's seat." You don't deviate from this.
Remember, you are re-seducing her.
If/when she meets up, you act seductive but chill, and can lead things forward to an extent, but every time there's a major escalation point you check with her if it's okay. If it isn't, you back off.
She's already had sex with you twice. It's not going to take forever to get back there. But she does need trust rebuilt, which means rebuilding attainability, which comes down to
the three questions of attainability:
- Is this for real?
- Does he respect me as a friend?
- Can a girl like me get a guy like him?
Right now she feels like it is NOT for real (you just want to bang), you do NOT respect her as a friend (you push past what she wants without resolving her objections), and she can NOT get you -- not for the relationship she wants, anyway (you're a poon hound, not a lover).
The #2 way it goes is she does not get back in touch within 4 weeks, or she does but it's just to agree with you ("yah I think it's best"), in which case you are really starting from zero.
In that case,
past the 4 week mark after message, you need to just start inviting her to social events, being the cool guy providing value, access to cool parties, and when she's there you are warm with her, but mostly social with just a hint of sexual. Meanwhile you flirt with other girls but don't let it get too crazy in front of her (or else you'll just trigger auto-rejection again). Any time she wants to talk to you you drop other girls and make her the priority. This makes her feel special -- "Wow, he can have those other girls, but he picks me."
When I first decided to start tackling women and dating as a skill set to methodically improve at the end of 2004, I went into it with three distinct aims: Be a seductive, charming bad boy, Constantly test the limits and push to improve, and Make women feel special. I didn't know exactly what I...
www.girlschase.com
If she won’t come out to a 1-on-1 date with you, never fear:There’s another option you can try with her, that very often works.That other option is what I call
www.girlschase.tv
Then you are just looking for some kind of hint from her, like, "We should hang again," at which point you test: "Oh you mean like parties?"
Ideally she says "Yeah, or just chill."
Then you can tell her, "Cool. Well lemme know what you wanna do, I don't wanna chase you all over again getting you going 'Ah, Kaida!'"
She'll insist it'd be cool to do something one-on-one, and then you just say, "Cool. I'll text you."
After that you follow the outline for #1.
====
So, yes. As it stands, you won't get this girl back by chasing harder or more.
You need to get her chasing you.
The way you do that is with something that says "Oh wow I just realized you had me totally into you (+A) even though I'm not usually like that at all (+V) and I guess I was being silly. I'm going to refocus on social stuff (+V; also a takeaway) but if you want to get in touch LMK (+A & +C if she does)."
A frame like that is what we used to call a "triple threat" back in the old VAC days, because it hits all three points: +V +A +C.
VAC and SAC are both powerful attraction models. Once you’re familiar with both, however, can you mix and match them for attracting girls – and if so, how? A little while ago Alek Rolstad asked me to write on combining the VAC and SAC attraction models. This article won’t be as useful to you if...
www.girlschase.com
You want her going, "Oh, he really like me? Wait, he doesn't just do this with every girl? But wait -- now he's leaving? He's going to be doing more social stuff? What if he meets somebody else?" and get her chasing.
Then just keep her chasing while escalating things gradually and checking with her if she's cool with it and chilling out if she's not until you've re-seduced her.
Good luck man!
Chase
