@Velasco,
But you will not deny that it was down to persistence and a whole lot of luck, right?. Rather than this "advanced game" it takes to SNL reds we keep hearing about.
Oh sure. Although I consider random chance a large element of every seduction.
Persistence, as
@Bacchus notes, is a pretty advanced skill. I did not learn it until about 3.5 years into the game, for my part (in anything other than a.) following up with girls I liked who were ghosting me, or b.) LMR. Both those I was blasting through with persistence as a newbie).
Most guys who do persistence are sloppy horny/aggressive guys who just repeat their overtures with "Aw, come on!" and "It'll be fun!" and other statements that don't work.
But you can persist your way to compliance with non-compliant girls.
Most are not as exhausting as that girl was. IME, if you plow through compliance hard once with a girl, so long as she feels rewarded after and you build whatever connection/arousal/additional investment she needs, getting her to do almost anything else is usually straightforward. (sometimes you will plow through a compliance wall, things go well, then when it's time for the pull or time to escalate to sex you hit another compliance wall, at which point the same tactics from earlier of "just plow through it" don't work because she's seen that already now, and you need to do something different. Other times, once you plow through a compliance wall, you just never hit another high wall for anything again, right up to when you bed her)
For sure. I'm gonna stop saying you cant SNL reds from now on. If you wanna go for it, hey bro more power to you lol. Cause me personally, I wouldve been outta there and in a cab to another bar, the second you noticed the club had nothing better to offer besides this red. I ain't wasting my night haha
Time and a place.
That'd usually be my go-to option as well. I had a special reason to want to pick up from that one specific club, and in particular from a VIP table.
But, times and places
@Bacchus,
I'm tempted to say that persistence qualifies as advanced game.
Simply because of how rare it is in the community today. But what is more accurate to say is. . . most seducers don't know how to persist in a relentlessly pragmatic fashion. And of the few that do. . . it is far more common for them to save their persistence for near the end of their pickups.
Yeah, precisely.
It's a hard to teach persistence over the web. The correct way of doing it requires a lot of thinking on your feet, a lot of facial and nonverbal nuance, and correct use of voice tones.
Just telling guys "Just hang in there! Persist!" is going to end you up in RSD "plow" territory (which is not where you want to end up).
@Rain,
There's an article above "you could get any girl conceivably", how literal is that meant to be taken? This gives hope to how many guys who have oneitis or want the ex back whos now with a new guy for years. I know you don't think that those types of "persuit" is worth it because of the amount of time and effort but still curious how literal do you mean it?
In addition to what
@Carousel said -- "conceivably could" does not mean "can right now with your given skill set, fundamentals, and mental frame."
I first started in pickup when I was hung up on a girl from high school, then wised up one day and said, "I am never going to get that girl until I am better with girls in general. So I'd better get to sharpening my approach with women anywhere I can meet them."
By the time I reached a point where I probably could've gotten that girl, had I reconnected with her somehow (which might've been hard, seeing as I was bouncing all over the place), I no longer wanted to...
as discussed in this article.
@BigPapa,
As an example , I had this back and forth with a girl but not really going anywhere . At some point I call her and say a very cheesy thing like " look I am flying away , and I am super afraid of flights because if something happens for sure you will die , so if this happens I want to have my heart clear and want to see you one last time before I leave tomorrow morning " . She comes directly to my place and gives me 4h of LMR ( she was running naked through my place for like 2h while giggling , i was taking her pants down , she would put them on again and so on) , I am the point to give up but she receives a text from her ex saying that he can not meet her . Magically after this the LMR disappears. In the morning she gives me a lift to the airport and while in the car I asked her what changed her mind . She starts telling me that she wanted to remain "pure" for her ex and bla bla , but when she received the text late in the night she realized that he might loose me over someone that does not care about her .
Sure, I have had lays like that too. Girl is dodging you, you keep in contact with her, set up a time to meet, eventually get her out, still getting resistance, figure out what the source is, break through it, get the lay.
This happened like 6 years ago , and more or less that was the moment when I truly realized that you can "spit" the perfect game ever but still can not take the girl home and that this has nothing to do with you at all but with her.
Of course.
The issue we were having was guys pressing senior members to admit to some kind of green-light-red-light thing, rather than just saying that reasonably: "Hey, you know how there is this certain amount of luck in which girls you get with, and you can never really get away from that? I mean, there is no way to just completely remove luck from the equation?"
There is no argument from anyone if it is simply framed like that.
It is the hounding and demanding that guys accept this specific traffic lights method that was the cause of this dust-up.
more or less all this drama basically was sparked from a semantic misunderstanding , rather than people actually meaning that flipping a red is possible or not
A great many wars are fought over stupid semantics.
Hopefully now that we will not be arguing over traffic lights, we can avoid any such flareups for a while
@Oh Pry,
Fucking tell me about it. Even the arguments we did have did not generate the need for Chase to step in. I still remember going at with Hector back in the day but somehow still maintaining that mutual level of respect.
I have repeatedly had to step in with some of your past arguments.
I distinctly remember telling you to cool off flame warring with more experienced members (such as
@Estate... remember him?), years ago.
I created a post specifically for you called "The Guide to Getting Hot Girls of Any Type" to handle your blonde bombshell posts (yours and
@Altair's), and have thread merged so many threads you've started into that guide to quarantine posts of that sort to that discussion that it has more pages in it than any other thread on the Boards, by far.
I have probably spent more time dealing with and deliberating over how to handle "Oh Pry problems" than any other guy who has been on this forum.
I am glad you are doing better now, and in many ways you have improved.
I will say -- much as I have been rooting for you and wanting you to succeed -- there were many times I said "For the good of the Boards, not to mention my own sanity, we must ban Oh Pry" and Franco interceded with me to keep you on here.
Just don't want you looking back with glasses that are too rose-colored
You never know what you have until it is gone and we were a really really tolerant bunch in the old GC site. No way whiney old me would have survived long here and I was already skirting on banned land. The patience led to me having a phenomenal experience with women and also impacting the forum in a way that I still get DMs about my lay reports.
This is true, and was a benefit for you.
However, it drove off various skilled guys, including Estate,
@Landlord (IIRC), and some others who complained to me that the constant whining was making the place intolerable for guys who were actually out in the field and focused on results.
I still miss the contributions those guys made. We felt their loss.
I think that version of GC is done for good though. We have a lot of people coming over from forums who, hate to say it, feel more entitled to certain privileges and have a shorter fuse than normal. In the coming months, I predict an exponential rise in flame wars, banned users, and a culture shift. I'd advise all veteran users who aren't that interested in the politics to spend most of their time outside of this section and more on Field Reports, Journals, and OT.
I am doing my best to manage the ongoing merger of cultures here.
We are trying to keep things as open-minded and civil as possible.
But the amount of whining and trolling and flame warring we had on the Boards in the past was too high, largely due to me being absent a lot and Franco being more on the lenient side.
As I've said repeatedly to you in the past, there are many places on the web you can go to to whine and complain... but we do not want this place to be one of them.
@Tayo,
however, with what Chase wrote about the things going on - "I am too old for that shit!"
Good to see you, man.
It'll settle down.
Check back in a few months.
Things are especially high strung with everyone in the Western world locked down in isolation.
People are going stir crazy right now.
@Protean,
Good post.
Yeah lots of drama going on here recently but events like this strengthen the forum as long as the lessons learned are remembered and adhered to going forward.
I would add -- a lot of guys are looking at this and saying "Oh no! The forum is changing!"
Meanwhile they are apparently forgetting all the other times I have had to come on here and deal with rising tides of bad behavior like this.
Just from my memory, we had:
- @Ryan, the superfan who turned into a super hater and doubter, spreading hate and doubt all over the Boards and attracting his own following of newbies
- A rash of victim mentality guys in 2014 making everyone feel miserable, to the point I had to create a Etiquette Sticky and message guys individually to knock it off or we'd boot them off
- The "monogamy doesn't work!" campaign, led by Tribal Elder DrexelScott (who is, ironically, now a born-again Christian, in search of a monogamous wife), where any time a newbie would make an account to ask for help with his relationship, Drexel and the other anti-monogamy advocates would pop onto his post to tell him "Monogamy doesn't work! Turn it into an oLTR and start banging other broads!" I had to write my pro-monogamy post (which I never wanted to do) and privately warn Drexel and the other guys to stop doing that. I also had to pull an article of Drexel's out of the article queue for the GC main site that basically completely trashed monogamy to bits
- The "brown guys gang" of IIRC 4 Indian guys and 1 Asian guy who were posting non-stop stuff about how blonde girls were so stuck up and did not want them (and we put up WAYYY too long with that... I wrote so many posts trying to help those guys... we lost a lot of senior members in annoyance because I took so long to boot those guys off... when I finally did everyone was telling me "Finally. That should've happened a year ago" -- I learned to not be so slow in responding to moderator issues from that, my slowness there really hurt the Boards)
- That guy who came on arguing that he'd been a Girls Chase reader for 3 years and never got the results he wanted, then went and got jacked and finally got his bleached blonde gym bunny, and that showed everything we said was wrong. And then he posted a report of one of his lays and it was him doing text book GC stuff (chock full of deep dives, chase frames, etc.), and he was also ignoring that I have repeatedly said "if you want gym bunnies, you should probably be lifting weights in the gym." Then I had to personally argue with him, and he kept moving the goal posts to make it sound like we were somehow wrong (I am still not sure how) until he had annoyed me and everyone else and we banned him
Probably some others I am forgetting.
THE MAIN THEME HERE IS THIS: I do not want to have to do this.
If you notice in my writing, I try to
deliberately not choose sides in issues.
I have my own opinions, of course. Often I do not share them. If I told you everything I think about relationships, for instance... well let's just say it would be outside your reality, unless you are one of the very advanced guys here, or you are very historically well read (and you do not think purely from the paradigm of your specific home culture). Likewise with pickup. And many things.
But I refrain from that, because the goal is to create a
resource that is equally usable to
all, regardless their exact persuasion.
And my opinions are not especially relevant. They are just my opinions. Useful for how I live my life. Your life will be governed by
your opinions.
That is because different guys have very different goals and wants, and I am not interested in being that asshole who tries to force his preferences onto other guys. I think that is neither effective, nor desirable.
HOWEVER... when we have guys that ARE doing that... whether they are trying to force anti-monogamy on people, or "looks matter above all else", or "gym matters above all else", or "this stuff doesn't work", or "whining because my issue is so sad and everyone needs to hear about it all the time", or "can't get the red girls", or whatever it is -- if it is being forced on other people, that is when I will intervene, and shut the discussion down.
That is when I step in with the "shut it down" stuff.
When guys are heavily pushing some idea onto other members.
If guys were being dicks about pushing a GC method as some kind of idiot dogma, I would do that too.
Like if people started talking about this cool new verbal tactic, and we had guys jumping on every post like that to say "No dude, that doesn't work, you have to deep dive" and it got to the point where it was annoying people, I would jump in and shut that down too ("Deep diving is great but there are obviously other conversation tactics that work -- so stop spamming it on other guys' threads", etc.).
Hope this is clear.
When mods step in like this, we are working to preserve the Boards from guys spamming a certain view or issue all over the place, in places where that is unwelcome.
@Ben22,
Wow I check back in on this account after doing a factory reset on my phone and did not expect to see chase go on this rant. He's usually a cool,calm measured guy and a couple of stooges really got him triggered? And he said it was all because these guys were adamant about a pickup method called "traffic lights" which I had never heard of,but is good to keep in mind.Why not just boot them? If they really upset him and made someone leave the forum I woulda done it. But I guess Chase is just too much of a gentleman to do that. I think this pandemic is taking a toll on everyone's mental health and what they're able to tolerate
See my post just above to
@Protean.
This is just part and parcel of running a forum with a lot of different people.
Once every year or two you have to get on and shut down some insurgency that threatens to shake the place down.
Often you can do it without booting the guys responsible -- Oh Pry is still here; DrexelScott was still here for a long time after (before he got religion).
Sometimes though, yeah, we do need to boot.
Chase