Once more unto the breach...

[the player of games]

I've hit my 60s. I'm not new to game, in fact, I had some great experiences over a decade ago, but I foolishly stopped just when I was building up serious momentum and results.

I'm closer to the end than the beginning and I'm not satisfied with the life I've led. I don't want to die unfulfilled, especially with regards to my experiences with women. They have been wonderful ever since puberty hit and they remain just as wonderful and mysterious now.

So I have decided to enter the fray once more. Hence this journal.

In my opinion, game is not like riding a bicycle. You do not carry on from where you left off. Not even close. It's pretty much back to square one. Another reason not to stop until you've gotten all you want out of it. So square one for me is dealing with approach anxiety again, and in my case, it's amped up by age gap insecurity.

I'm methodical and disciplined. I'll start out slowly rather than diving in at the deep end. There probably won't be much of interest in this journal to start with, but let's see what we can build up to.

I'm mainly using Eric Disco's 'She's Six Steps Away' (6SA) to progressively deal with the AA. This book is awesome - I highly recommend it. It might seem trite and obvious in places, but it's the trite and obvious that hold the deep truths. Indeed, everybody pretty much already knows what to do. It's the doing part that's difficult.

Let the game begin.

 

[the player of games]

D1

Step 1 from 6SA is to just go out and get in the habit of doing so every day, so that's what I did. In fact, I've committed myself to go out everyday for 1 year without fail.

Currently back in my home town, a big city, and there was no shortage of beautiful, young women as I went out and about on a glorious spring day. The thought of actually approaching any one of them seems out of my comfort level, although, as it happens, I did, just casually asking a young Canadian girl now living here why the streets are so empty. She smiled and was engaged and almost looked surprised when I wished her well and walked off.

But actually starting an interaction with a young woman and showing intent? It seems almost impossible to me. But then I realised that thought is a trap. I have to switch from outcome-based thinking to process-based thinking. The outcome is sleep with a beautiful young woman, something I cannot control. The process for achieving that, however, is something that I can. At least in theory. So I shut that thought down. That's not today's mission. Even that open was going beyond the mission, an optional extra further down the line in the syllabus. The mission was to start going out every day. I went out. Mission complete.

Here are some other things I'm doing/have begun;

1. Grew a beard and dyed it. Makes a huge difference to my looks - people guess me to be at least 15 years younger.
2. Committed to getting regular haircuts/keeping my head completely shaved instead of letting it get too long before cutting it.
3. I've also committed to always being well-dressed when I go out, even if it's just down to the local shop for a few minutes.
4. hypnosis tracks - I created a script for myself to start listening to daily
5. Oh, and I started this journal. Not too sure about the accountability before a bunch of strangers. It's more about getting leverage over yourself using your own ego. Will I keep going or pussy out?

 

[the player of games]

D2

Woke up with a feeling of dread. I have anxiety over my impending approach anxiety! Even though the mission today is just to go out, nothing more, no need to approach, my mind is already thinking ahead to when I'm going to have to start actually hardcore opening and showing some kind of intent.

Went to shopping mall. Started chatting to the juice girl while buying a juice. Saw a mother and daughter taking a photo of each other and offered to take one of both of them. They were all smiles. So strange. My mood has lightened and lifted. Turn the corner and the juice girl is taking a break. I reopen. and we start chatting. She definitely seemed interested but I didn't find her attractive so ended the interaction.

Ended up opening another beautiful, young girl spontaneously, asking for directions to the station and she responded with a warm smile. Chatted to another guy who was giving out free samples. Just exchanging good energy. All seemingly small and trivial events, but the difference they created in my emotional state was anything but. What a strange thing the mind is. I woke up filled with foreboding and returned home on a high. Anyway, the mission was complete. The opens were above and beyond the call of duty.

Lol. It'll probably repeat the whole emotional rollercoaster again tomorrow morning.

 

[Atlas IV]

I've got a feeling this is gonna be a great journal.

Followed!

 

[the player of games]

D3

Funnily enough, the high carried over and I woke up with a feeling of optimism rather than dread.

Today's mission was the same, except I was going to hit the local supermarket and shopping centre. Came across a really hot chick at the end of my street which was a surprise. Only after I walked off did I think, damn, could have opened her. So I did the next chick ten minutes down the road, asking her where the shopping centre was.

Not that many girls out but that's fine as I wasn't expecting many - I live in a fairly quiet suburb. But what was interesting was the realisation that here I was going out shopping in my local area, going about my business and now all of a sudden, an everyday activity had now been co-opted into my 'hobby'. I wasn't just looking at the shelves. I was looking at the girls on offer in the supermarket as well.

Followed a really hot, tall chick into the chemist's in order to just drink in her beauty, although again, that's the next step in 6SA. Didn't open her but later passed her sitting down with a younger looking kid in the coffee shop, and they had some books out with 'REVISION' in large letters on the cover. So she could have been under 18. The reason I mention this is that I like to keep records and one of the things I keep track of is the number of women that I encounter each day that I go out that I would ideally like to have approached. At the moment, I only track solo girls. Now the fact that she was possibly younger than expected and not alone is irrelevant to my count. She looked at least 18 to me and was on her own when I came across her so she made the list.

So strange. These are really mundane and everyday observations I am making, although the context is clearly not. The context is one of the seduction of women, so even these trivial details have now become suddenly very interesting to me.

Which brings me to my next point. I believe that game is life. When I was hitting the streets regularly (I used to do it like it was my job, in fact, I used to say as much) over a decade ago, I would come home, exhausted, with my head buzzing and my heart on fire. It was only a 3 month period, and it was one of the most stressful periods of my life, but I have to say, and I've lived a pretty eventful life so far, it was also the period when I felt most alive.

I saw a video on youtube the other night, it's was by Maria-Louise Von Franz, a protegé of Jung's. It was about the anima, the female side of man and she said something very interesting.

The anima is the archetype of life. When the anima is negative, it is the impulse to dream about life and to make wishful fantasies about life instead of living it.

This was me as a teenager and even for large parts of my adult life. Living in a rich fantasy world. I would say that many of us still retreat into that world. Fantasies about women. Fantasies about riches. And it's not helped by our comfortable modern world which supports us in our fantasies, especially pornography and video games.

Maybe my anima is now turning to the positive. Real life is so much harder. But if you live it, you feel alive like nothing else. That's another reason why I'm going back to game.

 

[the player of games]

D4

OK, I've accelerated the mission timetable. 6SA says you should take at least a week for each step, but let's face it, going out each day is not that much of a challenge. More important is getting into the habit of doing so, which I've committed to anyway. That being said, I think this touches upon something so obvious that it is missed in pickup. And that is the question of access. If you are a nightclub promoter, you have access to women. If you are a student in college, you have access to young women. If you are a movie star, you have access to women. If you are in a position of authority of any kind, depending on the circle you move in, e.g. yoga instructor, college lecturer, etc. you have access to women. Without access to women, there can be no game. It goes deeper than that. The right kind of access can greatly facilitate game. I had an amazing experience about a couple of years ago which I might write about in future, describing this in more detail. Anyway - for the rest of us plebs, hitting the streets, especially in a big city, gives us access. Access is the first step.

So it's onto step 2 of 6SA - proximity drills! Went to the busiest street in Hometown. Each time I saw a girl I would normally have liked to approach, I would turn and follow her (just for 10 seconds or so). The idea is to condition my mind/body to turn towards an attractive woman and physically approach as soon as I see her. (Un)fortunately, I picked rush hour to do this, so anybody who was watching me (and the spotlight effect is real) would have seen a crazy dude in sunglasses and headphones walking 10 metres in one direction then 10 in the opposite direction and so on. It was very hard making progress going down the street!

Also, I take back what I've said in other threads. I was following one girl when I noticed another dude beside me. The sixth sense never goes away - I immediately knew this guy was a daygamer and was 'chasing' the same girl as me. From his body language I knew he was eager to make an approach but was trying to pick his moment, so I hung back to observe (after all I wasn't going to open today). Sure enough, he ran up and stopped her from the side. She smiled but I don't think there was attraction. Didn't catch the open or what she said but I think she was giving him the b/f objection. I heard him then say where are you from? She said something then walked off. It's interesting to watch others. It's much easier to be objective. This guy was in his 20s, well dressed, but not enough masculine energy. You could sense the hesitancy, insecurity, muted voice. He didn't spike attraction. Anyway, that's the first daygamer I've seen in years. So we are most certainly not an extinct species. (btw, back in the day, I was following one smoking hot half American/half Italian girl down the same street and was about to pounce when another daygamer ahead of me, younger, well-dressed dude, opened and was rejected. Too weak energy. I was already amped and stopped her hard 10 seconds later. Ended up with a number close. She told me she doesn't normally give her number to strangers )

Rollercoaster of emotions continues. Ranging from the lows - 'what am I doing here, it's too late for me, shit, I don't think I can do this' to the highs - 'it's great to be back on the streets again with so many beautiful, young women around.'

Ended up opening one stationary girl today asking where Starbucks is, who was very positive. It's interesting how one can open when one is not obliged to.

Anyway, time for a quote:

• 'Living is a process of becoming.' - Hypnotica

What am I becoming?

 

[the player of games]

D5

OK, so the mission today is same as yesterday. Proximity drills. See a girl you like? Turn and follow her for 10-15 seconds. That's it. No need to do anything more, no need to open.

BONUS OPEN 1 (copying @gameboy )
On the way to the subway station, I'm about to cross the road and turn and see a stunning, tall brunette behind me, late 20s. I cross the road and head towards the station thinking that if I started the count, she would definitely be on it. (I count the number of girls I would have liked to approach, but I don't start the count till I am downtown.) I carry on walking and think, fuck it, she's too hot, she looks Eastern European, I'm gonna open her. Fortunately she eventually heads into the station. I open her on the platform asking her where she's from? She made me guess so I guess that's a hook but I didn't pick up an emotional hook, but that's OK as this was not a full on approach, just a bonus open. However, being the interesting person that I am, we carried on talking and I sat next to her on the train chatting till my stop. Long story short - number fucking close.

It blows my mind that I nearly didn't open her. It blows my mind that your life can change in an instant, just if you go and talk to that stranger. Now I'm not holding out great hopes, especially since I didn't sense any great attraction from her. But at least the possibility is there. And do this often enough and possibilities will turn into probabilities.

BONUS OPEN 2
Polish chick in her mid 30s in Starbucks whilst waiting for my coffee. Again, guessing where she's from. She was with her friend but I'm guessing from the friend's body language and demeanour that the friend was open to me chatting up her friend from the way she stayed quiet and looked at both of us. Stopped talking and stayed silent and resisted the temptation to fill the pause. She reopened me by telling me where I should visit in Poland. Lol. It's only now as I'm typing this that I'm starting to get that I could have pushed the conversation and gotten her number.

Now I'm in a very sociable mood. End up chatting to a guy walking next to me and when we end up exchanging numbers. Doesn't count as a number close! Also we both confirmed we were hetero so there would be no confusion!

Sociable mood continues - talk to a policeman, talk to a rickshaw driver, finding out about his lifestyle, how much money he makes etc.

Something has changed here. Maybe because it's Friday evening but the streets are flooded with beautiful, young women. What the hell happened since I was away? Or maybe it's because I'm on semen retention.

Even a tranny (I think s/he was one - very tall) catches my eye walking down the street and we both exchange a knowing grin !

I feel great. I'm a great believer in momentum. I've had a good day, I know that inevitable bad days lie ahead, I only hope that I have enough momentum and will to carry me through.

BONUS OPEN 3
Sat down on a girl reading a book on the subway home. I asked her if I can be nosy and find out what she's reading. She was happy to let me know and then we started chatting about the novel and genre. I wouldn't normally have opened this girl but after chatting to her she had such a lovely demeanour that I realised she was a great girl. So she makes the count!

BONUS OPEN 4
After the reader gets off, I open the chick on the other side of me. 'Am I on the right train to...' She's all smiles. Exchange a few words but then I'm thinking, I'm done for the day, I just want to bask in the afterglow.

Life is good.
Game is life.

 

[gameboy]

That's an interesting exercise! I guess it takes a lot of the pressure of when you don't really "have" to open. You ended up opening 4 girls anyway, and even got a number... well done!

 

[bkw]

Fuck yeah. Following