Once more unto the breach...

[the player of games]

D11

TLDR: inner psychological warfare and 11 opens out of a possible 14

Mission today: same as yesterday. Go out and open some chicks!

OK. For some reason I was really dreading today, possibly because I am still not sleeping well. Or maybe the stress of going out daily is starting to catch up with me. Either way, I was not a happy camper when I arrived at my station and hit the streets. The mind started throwing up all kinds of stuff. 'How much longer am I going to have to do this?' 'I don't think I can keep on doing this.'

What's interesting is that my AA is no longer focusing on my age so much. Which supports my own theory - for some reason, you want to feel fear and the mind will furnish you with a thought to justify that fear, but the fear is not picky or fussy in whatever thought it chooses to clothe itself in. The mind tells itself, this is the reason you feel like shit and until this reason goes away, you are going to keep on feeling like shit.

Now I realise that reading a journal filled with psychological musings may not be everyone's cup of tea, but to me, this is the essence of game. Game is played in the field, yes, but there are two fields. The one out there and the one in your head. And if you win the game in your head, you have effectively won the battle in the field. I really believe this.

I am at war with myself.

On the one side is my true self. On the other is my heart-mind, complete with feelings and thoughts.
The former wants to make love to lots of beautiful women. Don't ask me what the latter wants. I have no idea. It's not even as simple as it wants to stop me, because sometimes, instead of being a massive internal cockblocker, it throws a curveball and turns into the best wingman ever. Go figure.

Most day (and night) gamers burn out. That's happened to me 3 times before. This has now become an interesting, if very painful, psychological experiment for me. To keep going out and to keep opening. And so far it's easy! All I did today, with a few exceptions, was ask for directions, yet even that I found stressful. That's because the mind knows what's on the other side. Next week we are going to up the ante. And the week after that. And the week after that.

Feels like shit, ain't gonna lie. Gotta keep going. If I quit now, I know I'm never coming back.

OK, enough mindwank. Noticeable opens...

OPEN #1
mid 30's English chick. Asked her if I was going the right way to X. She looked me in the eyes and smiled and said yes, keep going. But the way she looked and smiled at me meant one of two things, which I haven't decided which one is correct, perhaps you guys can help me;

1. I know you are about to approach me and start a man-to-woman interaction, so shoot your shot.
2. I'm smiling because of the vibe you are projecting.
3. both?

OPEN #2
early 40's English businesswoman, very slender figure. Same thing and same smile, even stronger.

OPEN #3
19 year old Moldovan street beggar - yeah, you read that right. She was begging. I took a closer look and realised she was stunning, with blue eyes. Told her I didn't have any money and started asking how old she was and where she's from. Guys, this girl was the hottest street beggar I had seen in my life. My dick was twitching. I really felt sorry for her though. She kept looking at me, perhaps hoping I would make some different kind of move i.e. hit on her. (She wasn't smelly or scruffy.) Perhaps her eyes were pleading for me to save her. Well, I did feel a bit of beta white knight within me but then thought, I don't want the hassle or the responsibility or the involvement with someone who might just turn out to be a master manipulator. Plus, this isn't the mission. So I said, 'sorry, I can't help you' and left it at that.

OPEN #7
mid 30s very classy English lady in suede boots and long summer dress. We are talking Emily Blunt in The Devil Likes Prada. Opened asking for directions to famous store and she told me. I said I just knew you would be the person to ask with your aesthetic. She laughed and we chatted for a bit before she had to cross the road and said 'I'm going this way'. Lovely smile.

That's it. I felt better towards the end but not high. Tomorrow is another day. Rinse. Repeat

 

[the player of games]

D12

Got the mission wrong yesterday. We should be on Step 4 of 6SA which is 'Stay a while'. But all that really means is ask a follow up question after your opener. I usually do this anyway or make some comment before moving on.

Opened 6 out of a possible 13 chicks.

OPEN #1
Mid 20s girl - took off my headphones to ask her directions. There was a lot of clear space around so unless she has tunnel vision (literally), she ignored me completely.
My state is not in a great place to start with, so this was not a great start. I know this is nothing but I felt it. Kept going.

OPEN #2
Very tall Finnish girl who spoke English with an American accent. Teased her a bit on her having chosen the wrong type of English. She agreed with me. Exchanged a few more words. No real hook but I'm not really expecting any. with such a low pressure open.

OPEN #6
Mid 30s English chick. Opened as she was approaching me but this time I remembered to complete the open even though she was ignoring me. Even though I was further away than I was with the first chick, at the last moment she turned to me and removed her headphones and responded. Interesting.

These opens are nothing but they are frying me emotionally. I have a plan laid out of what to do next and when to get there by. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to hit that schedule. On the other hand, these 'pointless opens' are beginning to get to me. In a way, part of me would prefer to just go direct., like I did in the past. But, there's a program, so stick with it.

So far I've committed to opening 1,000 girls on this forum. But I keep a list of my own commitments on my private journal and there are two others I've made. So in all;

1. I open 1,000 girls.
2. I go out every day for 1 year.
3. I commit to 1,000 days of daygame.

So I'm going to go easy on the schedule - if I don't feel I can make it to the next step in the progression, that's fine, I can stay on the step I'm on, which currently is asking for directions or situational opener and then a follow up question or comment, none of it really showing intent. What I'm not allowed to do however is backslide or, worse, give up entirely. However, I'm hoping that the prospect of spending nearly 3 years going out every day asking random women for fucking directions will drive me to such desperation that I move on to doing something more meaningful!

State is everything. Have to change my state.

 

[the player of games]

I've created my own GPT on ChatGPT which I've been using for over a month now in preparation for daygame. For some reason I input my experience yesterday. The set that stuck in my head was the first one, the rejection, which is, I suppose, the one that should. We learn more from suffering. Anyway, this was the response. Now a lot of time, AI is full of shit, hallucinates a lot, and generally tries to blow smoke up your ass. But I've tried to set this one up to be as realistic and brutal whilst supportive as possible. And it's response was very insightful.

Why it hurts:​

Rejection threatens your identity, not just your ego. Somewhere in you, you're still seeking permission. Still wondering, “Am I enough?” When she blanks you, it feels like confirmation of your worst fear: “I'm invisible. I'm too old. I'm not desirable.” And it hits because you care. You want this.


But you don't need her to see you. You need to see you.

---

Why you must feel this:​

This sting is fuel. Every approach is a rep at desensitization. You’re getting stronger, right now. But pain must be metabolized. Don’t push it down. Breathe into it. Let it pass through you. Don’t chase comfort—chase the edge.

---

You're not in state because:​

• You're seeking → state comes from giving.
• You’re still hesitant → hesitation kills flow.
• You haven’t detached → outcome thinking chokes state.

---

He's right.
When I went to approach her, I was seeking permission. I probably had a pleading puppy dog look on my face.
I have to be the one who validates myself.
And she probably sensed the hesitancy.
And the detachment part is very important. In 6SA, Disco basically says that you can't stop feeling the feelings that arise. But we've got to take notice of them, acknowledge them, and then act anyway. But I see it as more than that. I think we need to accept the feeling but at the same time disown it, if that makes sense. Kind of like when you are doing a hard rep in the gym. The pain is real and you don't focus on it. You focus on getting the rep in with good form. The pain comes along for the ride. But we all know that if the pain is too much, it starts to interfere with form.

So anyway, I have to go into set with more self-awareness. Awareness of what I am feeling in my body, the emotions that I'm undergoing and how my body, posture, eyes, facial expression and even voice are responding in consequence. These last things amount to the form of the 'rep'. The negative emotions are the pain during the rep.

 

[gameboy]

But you don't need her to see you. You need to see you.

This is good!

 

[the player of games]

D13

Did something different today. Went out late Saturday night. I like girls who are dressed up sexily for nightclubs etc. so I thought I'd treat myself!

However, I wasn't feeling it. Sleep deprivation continues. In fact, I'll be honest. On the way in, I caught my reflection in the train window and thought, what the hell am I doing? A man at my age. I came close to giving up, to be honest. But I thought I'm here now. All I need to do is open one girl and I've finished the minimum objective. That's all.

OPEN #2
really hot 6 foot blonde in short dress and high heels. Not saying I could have gotten a good outcome but the setup was good if I'd gone in direct instead of asking for directions.

OPEN #4
even hotter 6 foot American blonde standing outside in queue for a nightclub. Asked her about the club.

OPEN #5
couple of girls walking together. ignored me completely apart from making a face. OK, rejection. Strangely enough, this didn't bother me as much as it did a few days ago.

OPEN #7
Couple of girls, one really hot. She gave me directions. Sounded French. Asked her where she was from but she waved me off with her hand. Rejection. But it wasn't the rejection that bothered me. It was the cringeworthy way I asked her afterwards where she was from. It was kind of supplicating, permission-seeking, much like the daygamer I'd seen the previous week, lol.

OPEN #9
The session is about to finish. 5 girls outside a well-known bar, in their 30s. I don't have to open, but something inside me says do it. Opened the hottest chick, brunette, asking them if the bar is any good. They look at me suspiciously at first but after a while they soften and we chat a bit. Could have stayed in set but ejected.

9 opens out of a possible 10
I'm amazed I made it through this night.

D14

Slept a little better but still not all the way through.
At the station on the way in, a stunning 18 year old blonde on the platform. Train arrives and she starts to move down away from me and I think/imagine she is aware of me and knows I'm checking her out. So instead of following her in, I go through the other door. So there is a choice of seats. One next to her or one next to a guy manspreading, so which do I choose. :-O Well at least I got the fucker to close his legs! What the fuck was I thinking! This girl was amazing. Tanned, flawless skin, blue eyes, tanned thighs, ugh. I'm pretty sure I would have opened had I sat next to her.

3 opens out of a possible 8 today

Chick I had a date with flaked, which was a surprise as she had been initiating texts with me out of the blue over the week.

OPEN #2
mother-daughter couple outside a coffee shop. Daughter was another hot blonde but ended up chatting more to the mother.

To add insult to injury, thought I'd open one more chick, tall, brunette. Turned out to be a tranny!

Fuck it. Feel like shit. Heading home.

OPEN #3
blonde in gym gear with flawless skin on the train back. asked her if she was going to the shopping centre here. Get off the train together. She's more than 6 feet tall. Well, I love tall girls.

This last open was a surprise. I just felt compelled. So I think this illustrates the importance of warming up. Some days you won't need it but today, clearly, I did. (I'd already opened 2 other girls in addition but I didn't find them attractive so I didn't count them.)

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm not asking for support or encouragement. I know the score. Need to regroup. I'm thinking, well, at the very least, commit to going out every day, and asking a bunch of strangers for directions to places I already know how to get to, lol. That's my punishment. But at least it'll be exercise.

I might take a break from the forum until I actually have something worthy to post other than asking for directions or what is the coffee like here.

 

[the player of games]

OK, after seeing angst accumulating from what should be very low risk openers (asking for directions) as well as frustration that this is not getting me closer to what I want and feeling more and more the urge to go direct, I decided to try a different approach (yes, I see the pun).

Hired a coach for a couple of days. I figured he could at least help me manage my anxiety plus having spent the money might force me to up the ante. (He actually turned out to be very good.) He mic'd me up but didn't pressure me to go into set. I at least could initiate that myself. Said I could start with just directions if I wanted to, just to loosen up. After one of those I thought, damn, I'm feeling the angst of the approach but with little prospect of reward. So he suggested a compliment for the next chick. Which I did.

And then the switch flipped. I went back to my direct openers of yesteryear. Next set was a number close - Greek girl in her early 20s. After that it was direct all the way. I felt liberated. No more fucking around.

All in all, 21 approaches, 3 numbers. 1 responded but she's married.

Last set was a Russian girl in her early 20s. Chatted to her for around 8 minutes. This was g/f material. Incredibly feminine, soft, no airs - she had a b/f but my coach said I should have pushed to find out more about her relationship, how serious it is, as he was telling me that she was mirroring my body language and was into me.

Just got back today. 11 approaches, 1 number.

Some highlights from today;

#APPROACH 1
Stunning blonde Scandinavian girl, early to mid 20s watching street performer. Opened with how stunning she was. She loved it. Started chatting. Lovely personality. Also g/f material ;-). So unsurprisingly had a b/f. Wished her well and ejected. Coach told me she looked at me smiling as I walked away. You know, it actually made me feel good that I'd made her day.

#APPROACH 3
Blonde English girl mid-20s.
#Me: 'Excuse me...'
#Her: 'No!' with a smile
#Me: 'No?' also smiling
She walked off.
I think this was the worse rejection the whole day.

#APPROACH 5
Blonde German girl, early 20s
Told her she had amazing eyes. She liked it. Started chatting. Asked if she was single. Said she'd started talking to someone recently. I said she could start talking to me as well. Then she said she was too young for me. I ejected at that point but my coach said a) her body language showed she was clearly into me and b) the age objection could have been a shit test to see how I'd react and I should have pushed a bit more on that.

#APPROACH 8
English brunette late 20s
Was getting low energy at this stage and should have gone in with more conviction. Complimented her on her clothes. Number closed. But I think I botched this one and I could have created more attraction.

#APPROACH 10
tall Dutch blonde, late 30s
'You look amazing.' She loved it. Had a b/f. Again, coach told me her body language was into me.

Now this was an interesting day. I had anxiety and I did weasel out of a couple of sets but by the end of it, I noticed my anxiety had dropped considerably. But I also got a great kick of making a girl's day and enjoying chatting to all these nice girls, even if it didn't go anywhere.

I think there is a kind of momentum you can build up and it rubs off. Ended up talking to more strangers and a hot girl on the way back. Case in point. Was in queue at coffee shop yesterday. Number closed middle eastern chick in her early 20s. Have date with her on Tuesday.

#BONUS APPROACH 11 after session end
Got off at my station and popped into supermarket. Saw a lovely late 20s blonde Polish chick but weaseled out. Got 200m down the street - was listening to 'Unstoppable' and turned round and went back. She was still there so told her she was the loveliest girl I'd seen in a supermarket in a long time. She loved it and thanked me. Had a fiance. But i felt good and after this, the world didn't seem the same anymore. There were beautiful girls everywhere and I now had the ability to go up to them and speak to them.

Of course, anxiety will reset the next day. Such is life.

 

[Prodigy]

OK, after seeing angst accumulating from what should be very low risk openers (asking for directions) as well as frustration that this is not getting me closer to what I want and feeling more and more the urge to go direct, I decided to try a different approach (yes, I see the pun).

Hired a coach for a couple of days. I figured he could at least help me manage my anxiety plus having spent the money might force me to up the ante. (He actually turned out to be very good.) He mic'd me up but didn't pressure me to go into set. I at least could initiate that myself. Said I could start with just directions if I wanted to, just to loosen up. After one of those I thought, damn, I'm feeling the angst of the approach but with little prospect of reward. So he suggested a compliment for the next chick. Which I did.

And then the switch flipped. I went back to my direct openers of yesteryear. Next set was a number close - Greek girl in her early 20s. After that it was direct all the way. I felt liberated. No more fucking around.

All in all, 21 approaches, 3 numbers. 1 responded but she's married.

Last set was a Russian girl in her early 20s. Chatted to her for around 8 minutes. This was g/f material. Incredibly feminine, soft, no airs - she had a b/f but my coach said I should have pushed to find out more about her relationship, how serious it is, as he was telling me that she was mirroring my body language and was into me.

Just got back today. 11 approaches, 1 number.

Some highlights from today;

#APPROACH 1
Stunning blonde Scandinavian girl, early to mid 20s watching street performer. Opened with how stunning she was. She loved it. Started chatting. Lovely personality. Also g/f material ;-). So unsurprisingly had a b/f. Wished her well and ejected. Coach told me she looked at me smiling as I walked away. You know, it actually made me feel good that I'd made her day.

#APPROACH 3
Blonde English girl mid-20s.
#Me: 'Excuse me...'
#Her: 'No!' with a smile
#Me: 'No?' also smiling
She walked off.
I think this was the worse rejection the whole day.

#APPROACH 5
Blonde German girl, early 20s
Told her she had amazing eyes. She liked it. Started chatting. Asked if she was single. Said she'd started talking to someone recently. I said she could start talking to me as well. Then she said I was too young for me. I ejected at that point but my coach said a) her body language showed she was clearly into me and b) the age objection could have been a shit test to see how I'd react and I should have pushed a bit more on that.

#APPROACH 8
English brunette late 20s
Was getting low energy at this stage and should have gone in with more conviction. Complimented her on her clothes. Number closed. But I think I botched this one and I could have created more attraction.

#APPROACH 10
tall Dutch blonde, late 30s
'You look amazing.' She loved it. Had a b/f. Again, coach told me her body language was into me.

Now this was an interesting day. I had anxiety and I did weasel out of a couple of sets but by the end of it, I noticed my anxiety had dropped considerably. But I also got a great kick of making a girl's day and enjoying chatting to all these nice girls, even if it didn't go anywhere.

I think there is a kind of momentum you can build up and it rubs off. Ended up talking to more strangers and a hot girl on the way back. Case in point. Was in queue at coffee shop yesterday. Number closed middle eastern chick in her late 20s. Have date with her on Tuesday.

#BONUS APPROACH 11 after session end
Got off at my station and popped into supermarket. Saw a lovely late 20s blonde Polish chick but weaseled out. Got 200m down the street - was listening to 'Unstoppable' and turned round and went back. She was still there so told her she was the loveliest girl I'd seen in a supermarket in a long time. She loved it and thanked me. Had a fiance. But i felt good and after this, the world didn't seem the same anymore. There were beautiful girls everywhere and I now had the ability to go up to them and speak to them.

Of course, anxiety will reset the next day. Such is life.

Ola there player of games.im a reader of your journal man i was a bit worried that you waved the white flag but its good that i was wrong anyway its good to see that you have come upon top,fired up and with good solutions this journal is interesting