TearsofJoy Log

[tearsofjoy]

Decided to take the leap today from lurking around on the journal thread to being an active writer. Hoping this will help hold me accountable and also provide a way to get some advice on where to improve. Shout out to @Lofty since reading his journal inspired me to start my own. Finishing up Gunwitch's SMMA course and with that by my side, hoping to go out and reach my full potential as a seducer.

Did about 20-30 approaches during July but recently been visiting my parents and haven't had a chance to really get any approaches in. I'm traveling to a new city for a few weeks and one of my big goals is to focus on game. Hoping to destroy whatever is left of my AA and focus on giving more of a sexual vibe since I've never been able to do that. Looking forward to keeping you guys updated!

 

[tearsofjoy]

Well, thought I'd have more to write about by now but seems like the approach anxiety bug is back again. Thought I got rid of that last month when I did a lot of approaches but it's been a while so I'm rusty again.

Just got myself out of the house today and explored the city a bit and made a concerted effort to make conversation with store owners, cashiers, and people I saw. I think tomorrow I'll force myself to break out of my shell and do some approaches to get the momentum going again. As per Gunwitch's advice, I need to start off doing some simple direct openers and work my way up to introducing stuff from his SMMA course so that'll be my goal for the next few days.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Just going to post another update. It was kind of an embarrassing day for me since I walked around for hours, too scared to approach. I think my biggest fear today was what if other people see me approaching, which I need to get over. I made up for it at the end of the day by saying fuck it and approaching this one chick by going direct. I was a little nervous, so the opener didn't go across as well as I wanted and her response was a little cold. Hung in there for a minute, so I'll take that as a small victory. I want to build on that momentum by going out tomorrow and getting some more approaches under my belt.

Goals for the week:
- Open about 10-20 girls using direct openers
- Focus on strong eye contact, speaking slowly, and using neutral tonality
- Slowly start incorporating stuff such as rainbow ruses into the conversation

 

[Starboy]

Just going to post another update. It was kind of an embarrassing day for me since I walked around for hours, too scared to approach. I think my biggest fear today was what if other people see me approaching, which I need to get over. I made up for it at the end of the day by saying fuck it and approaching this one chick by going direct. I was a little nervous, so the opener didn't go across as well as I wanted and her response was a little cold. Hung in there for a minute, so I'll take that as a small victory. I want to build on that momentum by going out tomorrow and getting some more approaches under my belt.

Goals for the week:
- Open about 10-20 girls using direct openers
- Focus on strong eye contact, speaking slowly, and using neutral tonality
- Slowly start incorporating stuff such as rainbow ruses into the conversation

hey man everyone has that fear of being watched or heard when they approach a girl. It's totally normal when you first start and it's not limited to you. Also even after hundreds of approaches me and these other guys I know who daygame still walk around for hrs and get a few approaches in because of AA so nothing to be ashamed about!

I didn't want to be seen either approaching when I first tried ,but one thing you have to understand is most people don't care about you. Even if they see you try to talk to a girl or randomly go up to her they might be curious/confused ,but they will never intervene or speak out. I have yet to experience this. So long as you don't behave super awkwardly and uncalibrated you won't deal with any consequences.

Maybe if you approach some guy and his gf or wife is nearby and he's a insecure manbaby lol,but that's not really gonna happen in daygame that's more of a nightgame occurence.

If you only opened 1 girl today maybe start off with a smaller goal so it won't feel overwhelming in your mind. Like open 10 girls for the week. If having a conversation feels like too much pressure you can even go up to a girl and just compliment her,eject and wish her a good day and then build upon that. Good luck!

 

[tearsofjoy]

hey man everyone has that fear of being watched or heard when they approach a girl. It's totally normal when you first start and it's not limited to you. Also even after hundreds of approaches me and these other guys I know who daygame still walk around for hrs and get a few approaches in because of AA so nothing to be ashamed about!

I didn't want to be seen either approaching when I first tried ,but one thing you have to understand is most people don't care about you. Even if they see you try to talk to a girl or randomly go up to her they might be curious/confused ,but they will never intervene or speak out. I have yet to experience this. So long as you don't behave super awkwardly and uncalibrated you won't deal with any consequences.

Maybe if you approach some guy and his gf or wife is nearby and he's a insecure manbaby lol,but that's not really gonna happen in daygame that's more of a nightgame occurence.

If you only opened 1 girl today maybe start off with a smaller goal so it won't feel overwhelming in your mind. Like open 10 girls for the week. If having a conversation feels like too much pressure you can even go up to a girl and just compliment her,eject and wish her a good day and then build upon that. Good luck!

Hey Starboy, thanks for the reply! Yeah, my rational mind keeps telling me that no one around me cares but then I start overthinking it haha. What seemed to help a bit was to just shut off my brain and try to use the 3 second rule, so I might give that a try again today.

Funny enough, I actually did about 10 approaches last month and even got a few numbers. I took a long break since then, so it feels like I'm starting all over in a way. I'm hoping that doing that one approach last night just kind of helps me break through the barrier and get back to where I was last month.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Hope y'all didn't think I quit because ya boi is back. After about two days of crippling approach anxiety and walking around for hours letting girls walk by without approaching, I ended up finding a good wing today. I think this was the small push I needed. Being able to talk to someone before and in between approaches to build social momentum helped a lot. Only did 2 approaches today since we met up kind of late and were both a bit nervous. Hoping to build on this tomorrow and do some more approaches. The interactions were kind of short, but I'll write them up anyway.

First girl had curly, blonde hair and a sexy walk. Was walking towards me from across the street so I put my hand out and stopped her

Spoiler: Opener

Me: Excuse me....
Her: (walking past but stops and makes eye contact)
Me: I know this is totally random...but I saw you walking by...and thought you were really cute so I had to say hi
Her: Oh thank you...but I'm on my way to work (is a few feet away from me and almost leaving at this point)
Me: What's your name btw?
Her: Tells me her name but is late to work so leaves before I can continue the convo

Any ideas on what I could have said to stop her at this point? I was thinking something like "One minute, before you leave..."

I probably should have had a more authoritative voice and better eye contact. Honestly, I was pretty nervous so I can't even remember what my eye contact was like. Overall, felt really good to break out of my rut and just do an approach

Second approach was a little bit later at night. Me and my wing were walking past this brightly lit area outside of a bank and I see a cute girl wearing a mask and just taking some pictures of buildings.

Spoiler: Opener

Me: Excuse me...
Her: makes eye contact
Me: I know this is totally random...but I saw you standing there...and thought you were really cute
Her: Oh haha, me. Thanks!
Me: Yeah what's your name btw?
Her: Mentions name but I forgot
Me: So what are you up to?
Her: Oh nothing really, just about to head home
Me: I see, so you're just taking some pictures of the skyline before heading out (idk...couldn't come up with something better lol)
Her: Yeah! (starts slowly walking away)

It was nighttime, so I didn't want to follow her as she walked away. I'm thinking I need to create a stronger vibe with good eye contact and speaking slower. I'm guessing my nervous energy projected onto her and that's why she left even though she seemed somewhat into it. Could also be that it was getting darker and she felt unsafe.

Overall, a good day to just break through that approach anxiety and talk to some girls. Definitely need to focus more on giving strong eye contact and slowing down. I've also been meditating for 5 minutes every morning to calm myself down. Hoping to continue the good work tomorrow!

 

[Lofty]

Hey @tearsofjoy,

Great job being in-field and getting approaches in. I have the feeling it’s the beginning of an amazing journey in this world of seduction.

Now that you’ve gotten your feet wet with approaches of that style, why not give the “Learning it and Extras” section of SMMA another listen? Maybe see if you’re feeling ready to take that step and level up the techniques in play?

The girls slinking away like that... it’s a lot of things, but a big part of it is social frame. Remember this post? Should help uncover some of the things going on in those approaches, including some of the knee-jerk reactions and other factors that are popping up. Also check this thread out to help unfurl the AA.

And most importantly, rest assured that learning seduction isn’t some magical poof of an event - it’s a process. With that said, there are certainly ways to accelerate our progress in this process. And honestly, it’s pretty amazing to see what we can accomplish with a dedication to the mastery-oriented approach.

I think you’ll see this for your own eyes, too.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Definitely starting to build some momentum. Went out with two different wings today for 2-hour session with each. Both of them were pretty new like me, so we struggled a bit with approach anxiety. I got the ball rolling by approaching inside of a shopping mall which has been something I've been scared to do. Good to get out of my comfort zone.

I did a total of 6 approaches today, but I realize I'm wasting too much time walking around. I need to get to the point where I see an attractive girl and go for it immediately. On the positive side, I've been hitting like 30,000 steps so everyday is leg day. I had a similar problem where a lot of the approaches didn't go anywhere. I think the problem might be I'm not being confident enough after the opener and the girls can sense that. Might help if I start incorporating some better conversation as well.

There was one approach that went well, so I'll do a writeup of that. I was walking along the street with my wing when out of the corner of my eye, I see a brunette that we'll call HBPikachu for reasons you guys will see soon.

Spoiler: Conversation HBPikachu

Me: Excuse me...
Her: (Makes eye contact)
Me: I know this is really random...but I was walking by and saw you...and thought you were really pretty
Her: Oh thank you!
Me: Yeah, what's your name?
Her: Says name
Me: Cool what are you up to right now?
Her: Says she's going to a friend's place
Me: Gotcha, so are you like a student here or what do you do?
Her: Talks about how she's here for post-secondary education
*She asks me a few questions about me visiting Toronto and what I do*
Me: Hey well I have to get going but before I go, tell me something interesting about yourself (saw this somewhere)
Her: Hmm...well my friends used to call me Pikachu
Me: haha why is that?
Her: I used to be obsessed with pikachu. I used to collect phone cases, backpacks, everything
Me: Haha that's pretty interesting. Well hey, we should grab a cup of coffee before I leave town (this transition felt a bit awkward)
Her: Yeah, we can just exchange numbers
*Somehow I end up putting my number in her phone. I asked her to put her number in my phone but she said something I couldn't understand so I just went with the flow. Probably not getting a text from her but it was a good interaction overall.

Overall, definitely need to emphasize good eye contact on the opener and speaking slowly. Need to start deep diving a bit more instead of just asking random questions.

Quick update: What do you know, the girl did text me back. Very rarely have I had a girl text me back after taking down my number, so curious to see how this one plays out.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Hey @tearsofjoy,

Great job being in-field and getting approaches in. I have the feeling it’s the beginning of an amazing journey in this world of seduction.

Now that you’ve gotten your feet wet with approaches of that style, why not give the “Learning it and Extras” section of SMMA another listen? Maybe see if you’re feeling ready to take that step and level up the techniques in play?

The girls slinking away like that... it’s a lot of things, but a big part of it is social frame. Remember this post? Should help uncover some of the things going on in those approaches, including some of the knee-jerk reactions and other factors that are popping up. Also check this thread out to help unfurl the AA.

And most importantly, rest assured that learning seduction isn’t some magical poof of an event - it’s a process. With that said, there are certainly ways to accelerate our progress in this process. And honestly, it’s pretty amazing to see what we can accomplish with a dedication to the mastery-oriented approach.

I think you’ll see this for your own eyes, too.

Hey Lofty thanks for the reply man. There's a lot of great stuff in your message! Just a few questions. I re-read the social frame article and I understand what social frame is but could you provide some insight into how I could use that in my approaches to improve. Am I getting those knee-jerk reactions because my vibe is off or is it because I'm not building enough rapport or something else? Just a little confused there.

But yeah, you're spot on. I just listened to the first few minutes of the "Learning it and extras" section today and was going to try and step it up by introducing either some rainbow ruses or a deep focus opener and see how it goes.

 

[Lofty]

Hey Lofty thanks for the reply man. There's a lot of great stuff in your message! Just a few questions. I re-read the social frame article and I understand what social frame is but could you provide some insight into how I could use that in my approaches to improve. Am I getting those knee-jerk reactions because my vibe is off or is it because I'm not building enough rapport or something else? Just a little confused there.

But yeah, you're spot on. I just listened to the first few minutes of the "Learning it and extras" section today and was going to try and step it up by introducing either some rainbow ruses or a deep focus opener and see how it goes.

Social frame is everywhere in everything you do before, during, and after the approach.

It's something that can be constructed by your fundamentals, verbals, pre-approach strategies, social proofing, and many, many other factors. Don't worry - social frame can certainly be hard to grasp in full at first (it certainly was for me), but you'll be recognizing these dynamics no problem with continued study and field experience. I also recommend reading Teevster's series on social frame as well, which should help immensely in addition to giving the social frame section of SMMA lots of listens.

All of this might be leading you to see that it's not really about "using" social frame... it's a bit more like building and/or exploiting it. Rock-solid social frame will do things like help communicate to women that you're the type of cool guy she can hang around without being concerned about her personal safety and having the holdbacks about having sex that she may have with certain kinds of men. It's why you knew it would be creepy to follow that girl at night. This also leads into the realm of calibration which goes hand-in-hand with social frame.

In terms of the knee-jerk reactions, strong social frame lowers the chances of knee-jerk reactions. We don't want knee-jerk reactions because we want to keep working covert influence and seducing her. Make sense?

Naturally, the act of approaching girls on the street can quickly lead to a knee-jerk reaction if performed without the sprezzatura that glistens with good social frame from the get-go. Deliberately walking up to a girl and trying to stop her on the sidewalk can violate good social frame and lead to things such as girls ignoring you and walking/running away - and this becomes even more pertinent at night. In addition, the usage of a direct opener in that way is an immediate factor in creating a knee-jerk reaction because it literally causes her to make an instant judgement about you as she perceives that you're sexualizing her. The lack of social frame often becomes a gaping hole in this style of approach and could even resort to sheer volume hookup game... rather than working covert influence through tactics such as SOTs and elicitation to build the 3 keys in order to fuck THAT girl you really want to stick your dick inside.

Which path you choose is up to you. Though also know that going direct and later running tech such as sex talk has a propensity to result in an LMR battle as the ASD/FSC sirens go off. So if you are interested in SMMA tech and the juicy results a dedication to such a craft may bring... it's gonna be best to scrap those "excuse me you're cute" openers. But this turns into a bigger discussion, and for more insight on this I'll recommend another couple of series written by Teevster on different gaming styles.

Keep getting better step-by-step as you approach more and more, but also don't be afraid to take those big leaps in your game, either.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Social frame is everywhere in everything you do before, during, and after the approach.

It's something that can be constructed by your fundamentals, verbals, pre-approach strategies, social proofing, and many, many other factors. Don't worry - social frame can certainly be hard to grasp in full at first (it certainly was for me), but you'll be recognizing these dynamics no problem with continued study and field experience. I also recommend reading Teevster's series on social frame as well, which should help immensely in addition to giving the social frame section of SMMA lots of listens.

All of this might be leading you to see that it's not really about "using" social frame... it's a bit more like building and/or exploiting it. Rock-solid social frame will do things like help communicate to women that you're the type of cool guy she can hang around without being concerned about her personal safety and having the holdbacks about having sex that she may have with certain kinds of men. It's why you knew it would be creepy to follow that girl at night. This also leads into the realm of calibration which goes hand-in-hand with social frame.

In terms of the knee-jerk reactions, strong social frame lowers the chances of knee-jerk reactions. We don't want knee-jerk reactions because we want to keep working covert influence and seducing her. Make sense?

Naturally, the act of approaching girls on the street can quickly lead to a knee-jerk reaction if performed without the sprezzatura that glistens with good social frame from the get-go. Deliberately walking up to a girl and trying to stop her on the sidewalk can violate good social frame and lead to things such as girls ignoring you and walking/running away - and this becomes even more pertinent at night. In addition, the usage of a direct opener in that way is an immediate factor in creating a knee-jerk reaction because it literally causes her to make an instant judgement about you as she perceives that you're sexualizing her. The lack of social frame often becomes a gaping hole in this style of approach and could even resort to sheer volume hookup game... rather than working covert influence through tactics such as SOTs and elicitation to build the 3 keys in order to fuck THAT girl you really want to stick your dick inside.

Which path you choose is up to you. Though also know that going direct and later running tech such as sex talk has a propensity to result in an LMR battle as the ASD/FSC sirens go off. So if you are interested in SMMA tech and the juicy results a dedication to such a craft may bring... it's gonna be best to scrap those "excuse me you're cute" openers. But this turns into a bigger discussion, and for more insight on this I'll recommend another couple of series written by Teevster on different gaming styles.

Keep getting better step-by-step as you approach more and more, but also don't be afraid to take those big leaps in your game, either.

This is all really starting to make sense now. I'll read the articles you mentioned on social frame and go back and listen to the SMMA social frame audio as well. After watching some youtubers who run direct game, I'm beginning to see why that's a sheer volume game instead of Gunwitch's tech which gets you that specific girl you want.

Don't want to take up too much of your time, but the biggest thing confusing me now is where to daygame and how to open. I've mostly been going to the busy downtown area in Toronto (think like the Times Square of New York) where almost all the girls are walking to a store or in groups. It feels incongruent to stop them on the sidewalk and use a deep focus opener such as "are you from the area." Should I branch out into the outskirts where there's fewer girls but they're more likely to be sitting down or going at a slower pace? If I do have to stop a girl that's walking on the sidewalk, should I go direct in that case or still try a DFO by asking "I have a very important question...and I wanted to get your thoughts on it?"

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

 

[Lofty]

This is all really starting to make sense now. I'll read the articles you mentioned on social frame and go back and listen to the SMMA social frame audio as well. After watching some youtubers who run direct game, I'm beginning to see why that's a sheer volume game instead of Gunwitch's tech which gets you that specific girl you want.

Don't want to take up too much of your time, but the biggest thing confusing me now is where to daygame and how to open. I've mostly been going to the busy downtown area in Toronto (think like the Times Square of New York) where almost all the girls are walking to a store or in groups. It feels incongruent to stop them on the sidewalk and use a deep focus opener such as "are you from the area." Should I branch out into the outskirts where there's fewer girls but they're more likely to be sitting down or going at a slower pace? If I do have to stop a girl that's walking on the sidewalk, should I go direct in that case or still try a DFO by asking "I have a very important question...and I wanted to get your thoughts on it?"

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

The best daygamers in this community will say that their preferred targets are stationary lone wolves. They will find them at places such as parks and bus stops where the nature of the setting aids you in creating an immersive, sprezzaturatic encounter. These settings are valued over busy daytime streets for these seducers.

That doesn't mean moving targets should be entirely avoided. It means that they just need to be treated differently as you surmised for yourself. Bacchus, a top daygamer who has built his game with SMMA at the core, has answered this question here (among other places):

How to increase my number to date ratio?

Hi all, TLDR: I'm getting 2-3 numbers a week from daygame but my number to date ratio is probably about 1 in every 6 - how can I increase it? Process This is based of my process here. I'm seeding the date conversation on the 1st approach & following up with warm voice notes that say nice but...

www.skilledseducer.com

And it would benefit you to read more of his posts and articles, too. You'll see how studying him goes hand-hand with studying SMMA.

Trust me when I say that as you divulge all of these resources and keep improving in-field, the way-in for each and every approach becomes rather clear. This the path of the Anytime Seducer.

So keep challenging yourself, use the bountiful resources around the site, and see how good you can get.

 

[tearsofjoy]

The best daygamers in this community will say that their preferred targets are stationary lone wolves. They will find them at places such as parks and bus stops where the nature of the setting aids you in creating an immersive, sprezzaturatic encounter. These settings are valued over busy daytime streets for these seducers.

This makes a lot of sense and was exactly the answer I was looking for. It makes a lot of sense why Gunwitch's tech would be a lot more useful on a stationary target since you'd have time to set up the approach as opposed to someone walking by.

That doesn't mean moving targets should be entirely avoided. It means that they just need to be treated differently as you surmised for yourself. Bacchus, a top daygamer who has built his game with SMMA at the core, has answered this question here (among other places):

How to increase my number to date ratio?

Hi all, TLDR: I'm getting 2-3 numbers a week from daygame but my number to date ratio is probably about 1 in every 6 - how can I increase it? Process This is based of my process here. I'm seeding the date conversation on the 1st approach & following up with warm voice notes that say nice but...

www.skilledseducer.com

And it would benefit you to read more of his posts and articles, too. You'll see how studying him goes hand-hand with studying SMMA.

Trust me when I say that as you divulge all of these resources and keep improving in-field, the way-in for each and every approach becomes rather clear. This the path of the Anytime Seducer.

So keep challenging yourself, use the bountiful resources around the site, and see how good you can get.

I've been reading Bacchus's journal recently but definitely need to study him more and understand how to incorporate these techniques into my own game.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Unfortunately still seem to be dealing with some approach anxiety but slowly getting over it. Went out daygaming today with a few wings at a local mall. I got a little psyched out and didn't approach the first 2-3 girls I saw but with a little bit of help from my wings, ended up doing a couple of approaches. One of the approaches went pretty well, but I still need to learn to hang in the conversation a bit longer instead of number closing.

The girl I approached was standing outside of a clothing store and it looked like she was waiting for someone. I went for it anyway and approached direct:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Me: Hey, excuse me...
Her: *makes eye contact*
Me: I know this is a bit spontaneous...but I saw you standing over here...and thought you were very pretty so I had to say hi
Her: Oh thank you haha
Me: Yeah, so are you just doing some shopping today?
Her: Yeah, I'm just waiting for my friend who's inside
Me: Ahh okay, so are you from the area?
*talk a bit about where both of us are from and etc.*
Me: Well I have to get back to my friends but before I go, tell me something interesting about yourself?
Her: I actually have two bunnies
*We talk about that for a little bit*
Me: Well, look, I'd like to take you out for a cup of coffee sometime before I leave town
*Exchange numbers*

I think I need a few more approaches under my belt before I can start incorporating Gunwitch's techniques. Right now, I feel like direct approaches are the best way to generate new leads for me and get more experience as I work myself up to using some of this higher level tech. In the meantime, I have been practicing developing some RPO's for various situations that I'll write here. Would love to get some advice if I'm going in the right direction on those.

RPO for beach:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Hey...I just noticed something...have you ever considered how time seems to slow down when you’re on the beach...almost like with every crash of the waves against the shore, you become a little bit more relaxed...and the gentle warmth of the sun on our skin lulls us into a calmer state

→ is that what you’re doing out here today...just relaxing and enjoying the sun?

RPO for park:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Hey...I just noticed something fascinating...have you ever wondered about the dichotomy of this park? You have people fixated on their phones, only focusing on their destination...rushing through the park. Interspersed with that, you have those soaking in everything nature has to offer...from the warm sun, the sounds of animals, and the beautiful greenery...kind of like what we’re doing now

→ So what brings you out, just enjoying the pleasant weather...and the cool breeze rippling across your skin?

For this week, I need to focus on approaching every attractive girl I see without hesitating to really destroy that pesky AA. I also just want to try out a few advanced openers such as "Hey, you look like my ex girlfriend" or even an RPO on a stationary chick.

 

[tearsofjoy]

Nothing too eventful today to talk about, but I'm really excited that the approach anxiety is starting to disappear. Went to the mall again today with some wings, and I approached 3-4 girls without much hesitation. The first few days, I usually needed my wings to point out a girl or tell me to go for it. Definitely some big improvements ahead.

The approaches didn't go anywhere since almost all of the girls had boyfriends. One interesting thing I've noticed is girls use to say they had a boyfriend right after my direct opener but today, they stayed in the conversation and only mentioned it when I went for the close. I'm guessing this is because I'm slowing down on the opener, giving better eye contact, and trying to improve the quality of the conversation. This should pay off once I start using RPO's since I'll be more confident in delivering the longer lines.

Also went to an art gallery today and prepared an RPO just for fun. Unfortunately, they were strictly enforcing social distancing so didn't get to try it out. I'll drop it here for fun:

Spoiler: Art Gallery RPO

Hey I just noticed something fascinating...have you ever realized how being in an art gallery transports us into another world. The bright, blue strokes of a sky can make us feel adventurous or a picture of family can bring about a sense of nostalgia. It’s like these artists suck us into their bubble, helping us feel what they felt...in the end, we come out more in touch with our emotions and learning more about ourselves as a person

 

[tearsofjoy]

Nothing super eventful happened today, but it was a BIG DAY for me in terms of mindset. The first girl I approached in the mall, she took my compliment and walked away without hearing anything else I had to say. Second girl I approached had airpods in and just ignored me after I tried to get her attention three times. Third girl had airpods in and left the interaction within seconds after my opener. In the past, I would have given up here and half-assed any further approaches or even quit for the day.

I think the AA disappearing has given me an abundance mentality in that if not this girl, I can easily go talk to 10 more. I had a slightly better interaction with the next girl but couldn't close. With a little help from my wings, I conquered my fear of approaching in stores and talked to a hot blonde chick inside an H&M (my personal 9 or 10) and got her number. I then conquered my fear of other people hearing my conversation by approaching this beautiful Turkish chick that was tatted out as she looked for directions standing next to a group of people. Ended up number-closing her too.

I still think I need to stay in these interactions longer and build more comfort. I also made a brief attempt to use some of Gunwitch's tech with the Turkish girl:

Spoiler: Attempt at Rainbow Ruse

Me: Direct opener
Her: Thank you
*Little bit of chit chat*
Me: You seem to have a unique energy about you, are you from the area?
Her: No, I just moved here from Turkey
Me: Ahh, I thought so because you seemed to have this enthusiasm and energy about you, like this area is new to you

My mind kind of blanked on the rest of this rainbow ruse and I was also getting the impression that speaking simpler english would be better since the girl had an accent and was feeling self-conscious about her english. I know I'm not supposed to mix the direct opener with Gunwitch's tech, but I think it's a good way for me to become comfortable delivering the lines confidently and slowly shift away from direct game.

Last thing, I was hoping someone could provide clarification on how to project sexual state. Gunwitch makes it seem like it's something you can turn on and off, but I have no idea how to do it other than triangular gazing. Any tips?

 

[tearsofjoy]

Didn't write anything in the journal the last few days but have been going out to the mall for a few hours a day and still getting about 5-6 approaches in. The approach anxiety is almost non-existent now or at least I know how to control and get over it when it happens. I've been feeling a little low energy lately...not sure how to counter that but I usually get a boost after my first solid interaction with a girl.

I also started doing TRE the other day based on a video that I saw @Lofty recommend on another thread. Not sure if I'm doing it exactly right because I get a little bit of tremors from the wall sit and floor exercises but nothing like the people in the video were experiencing. I'll have to stick with it and listen to the instructions better. Also the video seems to have a routine that would take close to 30 minutes? I saw some people here saying they've done a 5-minute version of that so not sure how that works.

Also been focusing a bit on fundamentals. Read an article that Bacchus wrote about speaking from the chest and I've been working on that. I've noticed that speaking from the chest has automatically slowed down my pace and made me more relaxed.

Now, onto the interactions. The HBTurkish chick I mentioned in the last post was very receptive to my icebreaker, and we have a date set up for sunday:

Spoiler: Texting with HBTurkish

Me: Hey it was nice meeting you at the mall today - Tearsofjoy
Her: hi. i thought i replied (she took a little while to reply)
Me: Hey HBTurkish! Hope the week's gone awesome and the advertising studies haven't been too hard. Hung out yesterday with some friends and then passed out - anyways getting back to texting you now. What's your schedule like this week so we can grab a drink?
Her: Hey i'm doing well and school hasn't been too hard. we can meet today or sunday. which one is better for your schedule?
Me: Today is busy but Sunday will work. Let's aim for 7?

I've been following this article that Chase wrote in order to set up my dates. Seems so far that if a girl is receptive to my ice breaker text, I can usually end up setting a date. Also in terms of time frame, that big chunk of text came from me a day after her initial reply per Chase's recommendations.

I approached a few girls yesterday but unfortunately most had boyfriends. I'm working on staying in the conversation after that point just for practice. I'm starting to see why the direct opener puts all the power in the girl's hands and makes it very difficult to get with any girl with a boyfriend. Gunwitch's techniques on the other hand immerse her and you sexually subcommunicate so you don't get those knee-jerk rejections.

The last girl I approached was this stunning brunette in a checkered pantsuit that looked very french. I later find out she's malaysian and estonian which is quite the one two punch. She had these mesmerizing eyes that really drew me in. I got to practice a very weak attempt at a rainbow ruse and I got a small taste of what it feels like to immerse a girl. Can't wait to try more

Spoiler: Spoiler Convo

Me: Hey I was just walking by and thought you were very pretty so I had to say hi
Her: Oh thank you
*Exchange names*
Me: What are you up to right now?
Her: Just got off work and hanging out here
*Just do some normal small talk*
Her: Tells me she just moved here
Me: Oh I thought so because you have this enthusiasm and energy about you...almost as if you're not like all these other people walking through life in a daze...you have an excitement about you (very weak rainbow ruse / pacing attempt haha)
Her: Oh thank you!
*number close after that*

I think a big thing holding me back is I'm afraid to get out of my comfort zone and try this high level tech and see where it goes. I need to push myself to approach more stationary chicks and use more rainbow ruses and avoid direct. I'm trying to slowly transition that way. I also need to stay in conversations longer and see where it goes instead of self-ejecting and number closing because I think I'll mess it up the longer I stay. That's a very bad mindset to have on my part.

 

[Lofty]

also started doing TRE the other day based on a video that I saw @Lofty recommend on another thread. Not sure if I'm doing it exactly right because I get a little bit of tremors from the wall sit and floor exercises but nothing like the people in the video were experiencing. I'll have to stick with it and listen to the instructions better. Also the video seems to have a routine that would take close to 30 minutes? I saw some people here saying they've done a 5-minute version of that so not sure how that works.

Glad to see you're giving it a try. With more experience, you'll likely be able to trigger the tremors quicker. I think that's what others may have been referencing, but each person's body is different. This thread explains more about TRE and its seduction applications. Lots of guys here are regular TRE practitioners and love it. Personally, it did take some time before I was able to initiate the tremors faster but it's definitely not something to be rushed anyway - gradually easing up the intensity is a perfect way to begin as you become more familiar with it.

I approached a few girls yesterday but unfortunately most had boyfriends. I'm working on staying in the conversation after that point just for practice. I'm starting to see why the direct opener puts all the power in the girl's hands and makes it very difficult to get with any girl with a boyfriend. Gunwitch's techniques on the other hand immerse her and you sexually subcommunicate so you don't get those knee-jerk rejections.

Right, and girls saying they have a boyfriend is common resistance following a direct opener... whether they actually have one or not. As with a direct opener, she knows that you approached her for sex and societal imprinting teaches women to often have a knee-jerk reaction to something like that. A covert type of game allows you to more smoothly bypass these boyfriend objections such as in one of Gunwitch's recommended methods of doing so. Generally just re-routing the convo and continuing in a more seduction-conducive manner.

Last thing, I was hoping someone could provide clarification on how to project sexual state. Gunwitch makes it seem like it's something you can turn on and off, but I have no idea how to do it other than triangular gazing. Any tips?

As you've probably seen, sexual projection is not just about particular actions.

Have you ever had that heat-of-the-moment experience with a girl when you just looked her in the eyes, felt that sexual rush throughout your body as you envision devouring her body, and maybe noticed how she became turned on at that moment, too? That's sexual projection and mirror neurons in effect. Developing this projection does come with expereince, though there are ways to help you along as you do.

One is to not ejaculate and build up your natural horniness. That should help. Another is visualizing fucking her naked doggystyle or whatever floats or boat as you're approaching and talking to her. Gunwitch's SECT methodology also is beneficial for helping you learn to project a sexual state.

And yeah don't be afraid to use the new tech - you've already had a taste of it and felt the difference, so why not incorporate it more like you said you wanted to anyway? You're an intelligent, savvy guy and learning quick, so it's not even about being able to do it or not. You can.

Again... it's a process. No one expects to be LeBron James after shooting hoops for a few weeks. Why should it be any different in seduction?

Instead, we can feel comforted by the beauty of the mastery-oriented approach. Day-by-day, we get better. Sometimes it's bit-by-bit and other times it can be big leaps as momentum is gained. And with enough practice and bravery to keep building our skillsets, we get there.

Best of luck on your date tomorrow

 

[tearsofjoy]

Glad to see you're giving it a try. With more experience, you'll likely be able to trigger the tremors quicker. I think that's what others may have been referencing, but each person's body is different. This thread explains more about TRE and its seduction applications. Lots of guys here are regular TRE practitioners and love it. Personally, it did take some time before I was able to initiate the tremors faster but it's definitely not something to be rushed anyway - gradually easing up the intensity is a perfect way to begin as you become more familiar with it.

Yeah, so I did TRE again yesterday and this time I actually felt an increase in the amount of tremors, so you're spot on in that I need to gradually ease up the intensity. Also, thank you for linking that thread because I thought you were supposed to do TRE everyday but now I realize once a week or so is enough.

Right, and girls saying they have a boyfriend is common resistance following a direct opener... whether they actually have one or not. As with a direct opener, she knows that you approached her for sex and societal imprinting teaches women to often have a knee-jerk reaction to something like that. A covert type of game allows you to more smoothly bypass these boyfriend objections such as in one of Gunwitch's recommended methods of doing so. Generally just re-routing the convo and continuing in a more seduction-conducive manner.

Yeah, this is exactly the case. I think the biggest thing holding me back is I've found a couple of great wings, and we've become friends doing mall game but Gunwitch's techniques seem to be more geared towards the solo seducer since it requires finding stationary girls and pushing interactions as far as they can go. I've really bonded with these guys, but it's time for me to have some solo sessions and start seeing where I can go with this tech.

As you've probably seen, sexual projection is not just about particular actions.

Have you ever had that heat-of-the-moment experience with a girl when you just looked her in the eyes, felt that sexual rush throughout your body as you envision devouring her body, and maybe noticed how she became turned on at that moment, too? That's sexual projection and mirror neurons in effect. Developing this projection does come with expereince, though there are ways to help you along as you do.

One is to not ejaculate and build up your natural horniness. That should help. Another is visualizing fucking her naked doggystyle or whatever floats or boat as you're approaching and talking to her. Gunwitch's SECT methodology also is beneficial for helping you learn to project a sexual state.

This makes a lot more sense! I'll have to start making an effort to start doing this until it becomes subconscious.

And yeah don't be afraid to use the new tech - you've already had a taste of it and felt the difference, so why not incorporate it more like you said you wanted to anyway? You're an intelligent, savvy guy and learning quick, so it's not even about being able to do it or not. You can.

You're absolutely right. I'm not sure why using the new tech makes me a little bit more nervous...but it's time to put it to work. Hoping to do some solo game in the next few days and focus on stationary girls. Will be back to report how it goes.

 

[Lofty]

Okay cool.

I think the biggest thing holding me back is I've found a couple of great wings, and we've become friends doing mall game but Gunwitch's techniques seem to be more geared towards the solo seducer since it requires finding stationary girls and pushing interactions as far as they can go. I've really bonded with these guys, but it's time for me to have some solo sessions and start seeing where I can go with this tech.

They don't require finding stationary girls, though it's great to approach these types if you can.

The fundamental SMMA concepts apply to every girl, every time. Whether she's stationary in daygame, moving in daygame, in the food court with three friends at the mall, or on her way home with a mixed 4-set after a night out.

Think of things not just as an opener or rainbow ruse but the power behind it, and how these things help fulfill the 3 keys of social frame, emotional stimulation, and sexual arousal. See how Bacchus applied a traditional Gunwitch opener to street daygame. If it's a two-set, you can simply intrigue bait the other girl into guessing who she looks like. There's your hook, and you proceed from there.

The possibilities are really endless because you have your own ability to innovate in your quest to become an Anytime Seducer, whether it may be building from Gun's examples or coming up with your own constructed from these field-tested principles. For example, I've shared how I often like to pre-open before combining it into a reality-pace, meta-pace, and/or a gambit. Building and fractionating the 3 keys from there while working through the transition phases.

Plenty of guys in the community enjoy the company of wings. A good wing can be a great benefit, while other wings will rely on you to compensate for their deficiencies. Regardless, you can certainly play off your wings when opening... for instance having your wing guess who she looks like as you keep baiting the target or targets to hook. Again just one example and there are many paths to immersion, and ways of your own you creatively devise in your journey.

It’s of course highly unlikely to take a girl from approach-to-lay using all pre-planned material because that type of thing doesn’t account for this particular girl herself. The goal is naturalized game where you have openers and gambits you can use, but you also understand why they work and are able to flesh out immersive verbals in real-time dependent on the girl and the unique context. As Glow once told me: go for the girl, not the lay. Perceiving her, her state, and the seductive adventure you can go on together.

Lastly, I highly recommend reading some lay reports to familiarize and inspire yourself with the extraordinary possibilities that can be accomplished with an indefatigable will and dedication to the mastery-oriented approach.

• LR: Alek's 10th Anniversary! (Featuring Glow, Hot Girls & Juicy Material!)
• LR: Poetic Injustice
• LR: When the girl pulls... mixing SOTS and SEX TALK and containing escalation
• LR: From Russia with Doggy Style
• LR: "Fifty Shades Of Grey" VS "120 Days Of Sodom"
• LR: Indirect Club Game Just After Lockdown
• LR--: Seduction in Seconds
• LR: Colors of Chemistry
• LR: Exhibitionists

These are just a sample of many. I have a feeling you'll have plenty of your own before you know it.