The Return Of The Mack

[lceman]

12/14/21
​

No good approaches today. I've been working on what my values are in life and how I can be the best possible version of myself-- one thing I have decided to work on is to offer value instead of looking to take it. This basically means sharing with the world, in whatever form that is.

For that reason, I will not go on this site to chat or post unless I have some experience that is worth sharing or that others may find helpful.

I'll be back soon!

 

[lceman]

8/18/22- I'm back!
​

Long time no see! I was a little off on the timing but I did say I'd return.

I spent the last six months or so working on entrepreneurial ventures and doing business type things. I made some money and raised my value in my own eyes, but realized that lifestyle is not what I want my life to be. Waking up at 5, hitting the gym, working 12 hour days, no going out, all that good stuff- there is more to life than business. I did, however, learn a lot about success and myself, so the experience was worth the sacrifice.

I figured I'd start posting here again because I've decided that getting girls is something worth succeeding in. Moving forward, I'll write in this journal as an error log of things I screwed up on, mainly to see how my problems progress over time.

ERROR LOG:

Today, I fucked up: there was a very cute and shapely girl at the gym. We checked each other out a bit, then were off doing different exercises in different parts of the gym. I had a chance to walk past and start a conversation, then promptly pussied out.

Really mav? You're better than that. Stop thinking and start doing. The only positive from this encounter was that it was clearly a male to female interaction, which is something I struggled with in the past.

On to the next one.

Edit from later in the day: got some good practice to make up for it.

Did a handful of opens around campus- this part is now pretty easy. There's a little bit of AA because it's been a while but for the most part, I no longer perceive opening as particularly scary on the street. Not sure what happened in the gym earlier.

Notable sets include:

• A girl who I bailed on instantly after opening because she looked nice from the side, but had a face built like a hammerhead shark
• A girl who sat down near me that I talked to some, but she never really hooked. I think because we were within talking distance due to where we were sitting but not close enough that it felt like it was a voluntary conversation. I went on my way fairly soon.
• A girl I ran into who we had class together last semester. She was excited to see me, which was funny considering we talked maybe twice ever (or to be expected cause I'm just a hot guy?) anyway we talked for like 10 min. It was good, light flirting with some physicality and I got her number with the idea for a hangout. I saved my number in her phone as "maverick the hot guy from (class)", she said she was going to text me but I never believe that so we'll see where this one goes.

Error log: with the girl, I saved my number in her phone but didn't text myself. Also should've been more specific with when we could hang out.

Thoughts: open more and with the intention of taking the interaction somewhere (number or your bed), otherwise you're still pussying out.

Also, I have good bantery sort of flirting but haven't learned or practiced much of the SOT discussions//more intimate conversations, which I think is fine for now. Once I get the 'male to female let's hang out sometime' part down, from the opener to the first close, I'll work on that.

I forgot how fun it is to be a man that screws around in public and talks to lots of girls! Sure, the first one of the day might be a little scary, but it's worth it every time. Even if you're not pulling all the girls home, it's worth it for that high you get.

 

[lceman]

8/21/22​

I've decided to write out a series of weekly missions for myself and anyone who wants to follow along.
This will serve as an effective way to both level up in the game and detail my evolution while doing so.

I've broken free from the constraints of social conditioning enough to talk to random girls in public, but have consistently failed to let the girls I approach know why I'm talking to them in the first place.

I realize I want to have said some opener just to open more than I want her to actually stay and talk with me, so guess what happens? The interaction never progresses, because I never truly wanted it to in the first place. Deep stuff.

Current Mission: Overt Operations
Objective: Communicate Clear Interest​

The Challenge: Talk to one girl each day who, after our conversation, has NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that I do indeed have a penis.

Habits to make it happen:
Open the first set of the day no matter what.
No saying more than one sentence after opening without stating interest.
Think in my head "I want to talk with you," not "fuck! there's a girl, I need to say something" when I'm about to approach a girl.

Bonus points: Get a number from a girl who was part of a two set.

Let me know if you want to do this with me.
-Mav

 

[lceman]

Alright. I started a new journal but then realized it was counterintuitive- it makes more sense to just continue this one. That way you can see my progress as it really is, and I will truly catalog my GRADUAL change from normal guy to skilled seducer. Key word gradual: drawing imaginary lines like starting a new journal will not change my behavior. Acting in a new way will. So, I'm going to keep posting here.

Couple posts from that newer journal I will not be continuing:

Spoiler: Approaches day1

Approaches of the day:



1. didn't count, it was like 630am and I never turned the corner going from opener to actual conversation

2. girl I opened indirectly and didn't move to direct quick enough. Complemented her earrings but it wasn't enough to turn the corner. We go our separate ways and I go to fix my mistake

3. girl A- walking past me as I sit on a bench thing
me: hey do you have sprint?
A: no I don't
me: my cell service never loads. but actually I don't really care about sprint, I saw you walk up and wanted to meet you. I'm mav
A: Oh haha I'm A
(goes for the handshake)
A: Oh sorry my hands are sweaty
me: aw don't slime me up lol!
(fluff. what she's doing, a little bit about us, but honestly some awkward pauses and mostly uninteresting conversation)
me: ok well I'm about to go home and eat, let me grab your snap, let's get some food or something sometime
A: sure
(vibes are not great, and I'm not optimistic about a future meet. she adds me back later in the day, and I haven't sent anything as of now)

4. unnamed- walking towards me near a class area
me: hey are you in my econ class?
her: no I have x
me: I'm just kidding, I know you aren't, I liked your sense of style and wanted to meet you. I'm mav.
her: oh thanks! I'm (can't remember)
me: sweet.
(fluff, failed again to have a quality conversation. I eject just before I completely crash and burn.)

5. girl A2- both walking to the same parking lot
me: something about parking
A2: some answer
me: btw something more about parking (I genuinely wanted to know something)
A2: answer
me: oh ok and (continues conversation)
A2: (engages in conversation)
(funny, I distinctly remember a point where she shifted her whole body to talk to me and was into the conversation)
(we talk mostly fluff about school and her medical frat but I do better with some teasing, light heartedness etc)
me: tell you what, I need to get home, but let's talk about something rather than your frat sometime, what's your snap?
her: lol that's a huge part of my personality, you've been warned.
me: gotcha I will proceed with caution.
(interesting here that I went full indirect not really intending to approach in the first place but it ended up with her more interested than I thought she would be. good on me for autopilot being to get the number/ask for date)

6. a few misc openers I don't remember that went nowhere

What I did well:

• asked for the future meet up, not just a way to contact
• corrected my mistake of not moving from indirect to direct with that girl this morning
• autopilot was to go for a number close of some sort
• engaged well- when I opened, there was no doubt they would stop to talk to me

What to do differently next time:

• insert the date idea as part of a conversation- create open loop about swimming say then invite her to my apt pool
• set more definitive date plans
• have more fun with my conversations- shock myself out of logical brain mode. this is the big one
• snap them earlier, I haven't responded to any of them and it's been 6-12 hours, oops
• qualify her before any sort of meet??

Overall, I'm apparently not as smooth as I think I am, but this stuff is fun. I was not at the top of my game today by any means but I'll be on that level soon.

 

[lceman]

What I realized is that it's okay for my journal to get better and better over time, in order for people to want to read and for it to be a true account of my journey. So, I'm gonna keep doing my thing, and feel free to comment with questions or suggestions.

Last night, I realized what my problem is: I'm not really trying. If I was truly out there trying to get laid every day and night, it would happen.

So, this journal is about me MAKING THE EFFORT to transform. Transformation is the goal.

What could I do to make the effort to get laid?

• go out a few times a week looking for new clothes and accessories to up my style game (which is weak right now)
• get with my photographer buddy to take some banging pics for tinder, and set up an account on tinder/hinge/bumble
• GO OUT AT NIGHT instead of as well as doing approaches as I go about my day
• systematic desensitization of going all the way with girls.

That last bit is key, getting progressively closer and closer to having sex with new girls I meet. I need to get over the fear/unwillingness to show my intent if I am to get anywhere with these girls; this begins with eliminating the last of AA and ends with me being overtly sexual as I talk to girls. Although not in a creepy way of course.

I believe having a plan to stick to will help me stay on track.

Week 1 (starting now): use the simple opener "hey" on 5 girls a day. (get comfortable approaching simply because I want to talk to her)
Week 2: MEET 5 girls a day; two must be in the gym, at the library, on the phone, or otherwise distracted.
Week 3: clearly hit on 5 girls a day. (I am flirting with them whether I open directly or not)
Week 4: use intrigue openers for 2 of the 5 girls I talk to (did you know, I have a question, etc)
Week 5: hit on girls in groups or who are within earshot of others (get comfortable with others knowing my sexual intent)

Weeks end on Sunday night. This is my tentative plan, to get closer and closer to the ultimate version of myself. 5 girls a day is totally arbitrary, but it's enough to be a goal while not so much that it feels unreachable. If I see a girl I'm attracted to, and I've done my 5 for the day, all I have to do is say something. Doesn't matter what happens.

Also, I must at least make an effort to take the interaction further. Because after all, getting laid requires you to TRY to get laid, instead of delivering an opener and slinking away. So the only other rule is: if our exchange is longer than 30 seconds, I must ask for a future meet.

Here goes!


P.S. to keep me on track, I will make tally marks on my giant whiteboard in my room every day that I do my 5 approaches. Not breaking the tally mark chain will keep me on pace as suggested by the book Atomic Habits, as well as keeping a binary yes/no framework of "did I do the thing". For cool examples of small daily actions and long term change, I like this article (very short) as well of a lot of things Alex Hormozi says.

P.P.S. I'm very into self improvement (obviously, I'm on this site) so most of how I think about leveling up with women comes from a business type background. When I previously took a break from this journal, I basically ran myself into the ground starting a business, then realized that getting better with women would transform me more effectively than making a lot of money would. So that's why I'm back and here to stay.

 

[lceman]

brief update.

Saying merely "hey" to girls is harder than I previously thought. It's definitely a step in the right direction to drop pretenses and simply be there because you wanted to have a conversation. For today's efforts, I did my heys and set up a preliminary version of a dating profile across a few different apps. How else did I get closer to my goals regarding women?
Not much, honestly. Got a haircut and looked for some accessories to wear (I have none) but found nothing I liked.

In the end, it comes down to going just a little further than last time. I don't have to be casanova when I wake up tomorrow, I just have to get a little closer today. And then tomorrow, I get a little closer again. For example, a couple times I wanted to put my phone away and stop building a profile but made myself make just a bit more progress.

So, baby steps.


Question of the day: What would I do if I absolutely had to get laid this week?

 

[lceman]

Time for an update. It's been a week since the last post, which is probably going to be the longest of an interval for the foreseeable future.

It's been a pretty great week where I learned and did some valuable things, namely got a much more objective look at myself and where I'm at in terms of game. This was spurred on both by interactions I had with women and a shameless self assessment I did as part of a RSD course I downloaded. The results?

I am nowhere near as good at game as I think I am. My ego has been in the way of my success. There's a term in psychology called the Dunning Kruger effect; basically, you are overconfident at a very low skill level before you realize just how low your skill level really is. Here's a link- an illustrated picture for you to check out.

The reason I have been overconfident is that I mistook my success with women in the past for good game on my part. And the reality is, I have only ever pulled girls due to passive attraction. I lost about 10 girls in the last 5% due to me not making a move (or the right move), but my actual game was not the reason for that success, my personality/the environment was.

Anyways, I now am in the trough of the Dunning Kruger line, which is awesome because it is incredibly freeing. Now that I can accept the fact that I'm not good at game yet, I have absolutely no excuse to not do the work and grind out approaches until I see real results. It was easy to rationalize not approaching that much earlier because I thought I was better than I am, but the reality is, I'll have to climb up to the top just the same as anybody else. Because I'm not special. And neither is anyone who has become great with women and people in general. The only difference between them and everyone else is they've done the work.

So, as per the old mantra: decide, commit, baby step.

Decide that getting good with women and people in general is the top priority in your life.
Commit to walking this path by sacrificing anything hindering you from success.
Baby step by doing the small yet important things each day to ensure you stay on the path.

Stay consistent, and pretty soon you'll pass a milestone that was once a goal you dreamed about.

Keep walking long enough and you'll one day realize you're living your dream life.


I'm off for tonight as there's work to be done.
Until next time.


Edit for accountability: this week's challenge, on top of doing daily openers to keep myself social, is do one real approach a day. That's all, just one thing that gets me a little scared/nervous/uncomfortable.

Walk the path.

 

[lceman]

It's been a week or so since the last report, I don't want to fall out of the habit of keeping this journal. I made some progress but it was baby steps. chatted up a girl who was talking on her phone, did better in social situations, talked to a few girls at nighttime instead of day only- like I said, baby steps. Volume is what will make a difference for me. That's the goal for this week, pump those numbers up.

 

[lceman]

Time for a real update.

I've had a lot bouncing around in my head recently. Last semester, and last year overall, I focused on my business life and completely neglected my social life and dating life. This semester, I've decided (as previously mentioned) that my dating life is the most important thing I could work on. I reached this conclusion after pursuing business success so exclusively; I realized I would rather have a life, but no money, than money, but no life. Another realization I had is that business success is no different from success in any other area of life. My end goal is not to accomplish some current goal (which is really just a small milestone in the grand scheme of things), but to get better at succeeding in whatever it is I set out to do. The ability of success is what I'm truly after, therefore, my ultimate goal is self development. And based on what I've seen and experienced, improving one's dating life is a much more effective and efficient way to develop oneself.

So, game is the main thing I'm working on. Where does that leave me?

With a lot of work to do. My main problem right now is avoiding any sort of fear I may have. I've been refusing to admit anything I'm scared of, and instead of pussying out, I've been unconsciously avoiding situations where I would pussy out. However, the first step to change is awareness, and I am aware. Aware of the opportunities that have slipped by. Aware of how my life can only improve if I change how I act.

I don't even know what I would be afraid of, because I don't think of it consciously. I've gotten much better at handling social pressure and ignoring other people when I approach, so I don't think it's fear of ostracism/embarrassment. When a girl gives some kind of negative response (which is rare), I genuinely feel better afterwards because I did the approach, so I don't think it's a fear of rejection. It's not fear of abandonment. The only other two culprits are a fear of failure or a fear of success.

Either one could be the cause. I am essentially avoiding trying, avoiding putting in my best effort, in an effort to... protect my ego? To remain the same, and not change my identity into a dude who gets laid? To keep me from expending all that energy just to fail in the end?

So that's where my head is at. But enough theory, let's talk about action. Because what I do on a daily basis is what will fix any problems mentioned above. I cannot think myself into the pool, I have to make the leap, just like anyone else who's actually been successful.

Here's been my framework for making sure I open and actually approach girls. It's based around the Flinch, which is a pretty good book (very quick and free pdf online) about those moments when you decide whether to fight or run.

1. Find the flinch. Put yourself in situations where scary things might happen. == GO OUT
2. Feel the flinch. Label your fears as they come up in the field. Verbalize what is stopping you from approaching. Feel that tingle in your balls.
3. Face the flinch. Make your feet walk closer to the challenge, one step at a time. Go up to the girl/move in her walking path
4. Fight the flinch. Do what needs to be done. Say hey and start the conversation, or however you want to open.

**note: the flinch applies to all areas of life, where there is a challenge you either accept or deny. The goal is to accept all challenges so as to develop yourself to the fullest extent possible.

Misc frameworks that help me approach
B0SS- if there's anything you initially resist that you know you should do, you have to do it. The B0SS says so.
Binary attraction- I've not said hey to a lot of girls because I judged them not attractive enough to open. This is counterproductive for obvious reasons- my new rule is if I find her attractive AT ALL, she's worth approaching. It's either is she or isn't she, there's no line in the sand.

Also, I need to go out at night to make progress quicker. I've been approaching only daygame on campus, and it's so easy to excuse a low number of approaches because everyone is always in a rush and has somewhere to be.


Anyways, something has clicked in my brain and I've been doing more and more in the past days and weeks. This momentum will only build and I'll keep tabs on my progress here. Should be some interesting developments quite soon.

 

[lceman]

Here's an approach from yesterday. This one was significant because it was the first time I've done it at the library. In college, the library is a place to focus and get work done, not a place to chill and read, so I had some unconscious limiting beliefs about talking to girls there. I've realized that I MUST have some limiting beliefs because the way I act does not prove me otherwise, even if I intellectually don't think I have anything limiting me.

Spoiler: approach

convo:
me: (notices the opportunity, walks around this floor a couple times, is genuinely scared to do it, decides to face his fears)
me: hey are you using this seat? (I gesture at the seat right next to her- she's at some sort of bench where it would be weird to sit next to her)
her: no go for it!
me: actually I don't really need it, I wanted to come say hey and meet you. I'm Maverick
her: oh! hi, I'm (name)
me: so I actually need to leave like right now but I want to ask you one question first
her: what is it?
me: what's your thing? what gets you excited?
her: ummm, my friends? idk
me: I mean the thing you're passionate about
her: (she doesn't really know)
me: ok. Well I do have to be leaving but let me grab your number, you want to get a drink or something to eat together sometime?
her: (surprised) yeah sure
me: ok nice meeting you, I'll send you a text
her: nice meeting you

It is EXTREMELY hard to convey the nuances of an interaction in a text post. I didn't quite have the approach down well enough for anything to happen after; I texted as a rule but I could tell as soon as I left that this chick would lead nowhere. But, I didn't care because there were a lot of important things I did well here.

• faced my fear and did the approach (scared to do something in a new environment with a couple others within earshot)
• asked her about what excites her (I wanted to find something to qualify her on, to say 'you seem cool, let's hang sometime'
• asked for the future meetup and got her number as a result, not the other way around

I'm proud of this one not because it was a great job on my part, but because it's one step closer to breaking free of all the limiting beliefs I have about meeting women.

Also, last night I went to a party. It was for a social circle I'm new to, so I didn't try to game aggressively, but I did a lot of things well like be social, flirt with some girls, be a leader, and keep all my fundamentals sharp.

**a cool thing that happened was one chick I was talking to asked who I came with, and I said I came solo. she said "wow, I don't have the balls to do that!". I'll be going out alone more in the future.

Overall, a good day. Baby steps.

 

[lceman]

it's like 8 pm so the night has barely even begun, but I figured I'd write down an approach that just happened before I forget the details.

I've tried to include the actual words I said during key moments, and skip over the rest. Total interaction time was 10mins or so.

Spoiler: the approach

the scene: I am behind a small group of a girl and a few guys leaving the library (closing time), just as we get outside the girl says bye to them. **

Me, a few steps behind: did you just finish a group project?
Her: (looks back) yeah, how'd you know?
Me: (catches up and we start walking together) that was the awkward goodbye when you didn't really want to see someone in the first place
Her: lol yeah. they were exchange students too and they didn't really speak english
Me: oh yeah that's a recipe for success right there
Her: what's your name btw?
Me: Maverick.
Her: I'm C, nice to meet you
(we chit chat a little. I attempt to cold read by saying that she's on top of her schoolwork for the most part and generally has her life handled)

at one point, we reach a crossroads of sorts where she turns to go back to her car. My path is straight.
C: "I'm parked over here"
Me: "Come walk with me"
C: "Where are you going?"
Me: "This way, come on"
she complies and walks with me. nice. I mention I'm going to a sandwich shop to buy food for an upcoming camping trip and we talk about that a little. missed opportunity to go into verbal game topics of being immersed in nature and freedom, being natural, etc. but I wasn't thinking about that.

We reach another crossroads, and though she would have walked with me a little more, I decide to cut her loose.
Me: "Where are you parked again?"
C: "that way" (points in fully opposite direction we just walked. lol)
(there's that social tension when the girl wants you to close her. Idk how to explain but it's like once you've hooked there needs to be closure)
Me: "what are you doing on sunday?"
C: (looks at phone) "I have... no plans"
Me: "Cool, I get back from my trip early afternoon, but I'll be free after that"
C: (is holding phone) "do you do snap, or number, or what's your thing?"
M: "Number, I deleted snap a while back"
I put in my number, we talk for like 10 more sec and say bye.

Breakdown:

Baby steps of things I did better than I have before:

• Attempted a cold read. This is something that needs a lot of work for me, but it'll be a fun thing to work on.
• Got her to keep walking with me as she turned to leave. I was playful and acted like she was weird for not walking with me, which was fun.
• Made more concrete plans for a hangout. Didn't have an exact type of date (or whatever) in mind but we did agree on a general time.

Wild cards:

• she was holding her phone and something else in her hand close to me the whole time, along with both of us wearing backpacks, so there was practically no touching during our interaction. I touched her arm a couple times as we talked to emphasize things but that doesn't really count.
• she was attractive (see my earlier note about a binary yes/no instead of an attractiveness threshold to approach) but not someone I would pull out of a crowd to talk to. see the side note.

Spoiler: side note

**side note: this girl is honestly not that far above average looks wise. I read an article on another PU site about lowering your standards (chase has a good one as well, but this other one was fresh on my mind) so I figured I may as well open her and see what happens. The basic premise of lowering your standards is that by only talking to the hottest girls, you are saving your ego and impeding your progress. I decided that getting better at game is more important than making myself feel powerful/important, so from now on I'm giving less cute girls a chance. Why wouldn't I? Because my pride as a man is too fragile to handle being with or being seen with girls who aren't the best of the best? Because I don't want the fellas on this website knowing I talk to some girls who aren't super attractive? I actually thought about omitting this side blurb for about 1.5 seconds because my ego would like it if readers assumed all the girls I talk to were extremely hot. Stupid ego.

* this took me longer to write than I thought it would. So if you actually read it and want me to post more, please drop a like

 

[lceman]

Over the weekend, I went on a camping trip with some peeps and learned some things. What you see from these camping trips are me navigating a social circle in real time, so we'll see how that unfolds.

*this is a cursory write up, if I cared more I would write a long and detailed account but that just isn't worth it for me right now.

I gave myself 3 things to remember for the weekend. 1. LEAD, 2. relax, 3. fight the flinch (which is doing the things outside your comfort zone or that you're scared/anxious of)

Leading is something I have gotten much better at yet still have a long way to go on. Examples of leading: getting a group to move, going your own path, volunteering for things, directing conversation, could be lots of things. I'm not at unconscious competence here yet but I'm getting there, and it was cool to see how far I've come.

Relaxing is more a reminder for me because I tend to hold tension in my stomach.

The flinch was something I did excellent at- basically if you have the thought to do something outside your comfort zone or that you're scared/anxious of, you have to do it. So there were lots of little things I did very well.


Other random observations:
I did very well at generally leading and being social/cool but did not escalate at the right time, if I played my cards right I could've gotten very far
a girl who tends to only hang out with her friends and not talk to others is likely shy and insecure, rather than bitchy or antisocial
I realized I could've made something happen if I were better at the game. It's like tasting your dreams, understanding what's possible makes me want to go 10x harder to get it

I thought of getting to the lay as beating the game, and there are lots of levels to pass in order to beat it. Depending on the situation, you sometimes get through levels you don't know how to beat. But the better you are able to beat each level, the more likely you will beat the game. It's a matter of probability, your skill coupled with that specific interaction (environment, the girl, wildcards) that determines if you beat it.
And some levels you will be better at than others, but your ability to get through them all will greatly raise your chances of success.
If you fail a level, the best way to get better is to replay it as soon as possible, even if replaying it means your chances of failure are raised. eg if you pussy out of an approach, circle back and do it even if she saw you pussy out.
And constantly asking yourself "what could I do to beat the game" is the best way to get yourself playing those levels, especially the later ones. When you've already gotten to the next level, instead of stopping, ask that question and improve your rate of progress.

I wrote a whole thing about this in my notes, it is abbreviated here but enriches my understanding of how to get better. Maybe it makes sense to you, maybe it doesn't, but I like this framework.

Anyways, I took a lot of baby steps forward, saw a lot of evidence of improvement, and had a lot of fun. On to the next one.

 

[lceman]

volume, volume, volume... the missing ingredient.

I've been doing almost exclusively daygame street stops, which is great for raising social freedom, but not great for learning skills with women because everyone is on the move. In order to progress faster, I need to go to venues where girls hang out and meet people/be social. Which means going out to bars or parties or the street at night.

Hmm. my current approach to learning this is not particularly effective, time to switch up the angle.

 

[lceman]

Okay, time for my write up of the night.

today was pretty slow. I talked to a girl and met a couple dudes in the gym, which was social progress, but nothing substantial as far as game. Not too much else happened during the day. Except some asian girl I started talking to, which went well, but I was a little thrown off because verbal flirting was clearly missing the mark. Maybe verbal game doesn't work too well on foreigners. We left off with an instagram close (she said she doesn't have a number for whatsapp for anything) and an agreement to 'play games' at one of our houses, lol/

then at night, I went to a party. I showed up solo (woo) and talked to some new people and some people I knew already. I flirted with a few girls and got a couple snapchats. I didn't try aggressively for any in particular; this may have been a problem. One girl I hit on said she was leaving and gave me a four loko as well as her snapchat before going. nice. except 4 loko tastes like poison, because it is. Anyways, I did quite well socially as far as establishing and strengthening connections between me and other people. I did ok for game. I flirted well but did not genuinely try to move any girl as far as possible in the interaction. That's what I'll work on next time, choosing one girl and getting as close to sex as possible.

once I came home, I talked to this one girl outside on the street. she was kind of attractive but I failed to turn the corner because I didn't make my mind up that I wanted her. Turn the corner meaning going from what I said to open to 'I'm a guy talking to a girl, what's gonna happen next'. we said bye.

One last girl apparently lives right near me. Four girls were walking in front of me and turned around; I said something very intelligent like "are you guys just walking back and forth". One of the girls apparently likes that and says "aren't you the guy who asked me about your econ exam earlier?"
lol yeah, that was me. I asked her what she thought I would get on my exam. She said 80-85, i said that was reasonable, and we walked on as we both had places to be.

This girl made sure all her friends got in the uber outside, and remained talking to me. She asked me some basic questions as girls do like "where are you from, what's your major" etc. Boring stuff. I bust her balls some because her name sounds fake and we actually used to live in the same part of Massachusetts, which is far from here. I tell her she's lying, and she denies it. After a couple minutes of banter, she mentions she's cold. It's like 65 degrees F here due to an incoming hurricane, which feels cold compared to our normal temperature. I say yeah, I need to go shower (she had mentioned that I smell like smoke). then "come hang out" as I grab her hand and attempt to lead her to my place. she says no, she had her pajamas on a minute ago and wants to go to bed. "just come hang out, it's fine" I think is what I say. She says again she's going to bed. Also mentions that I had talked to her roommate at one point. lmao. anyways, I grab her snap "ok well let me give you my snap" and add myself on her phone, bid her goodnight and go back to my apartment.

I don't think she was aroused at all. Actually, she definitely wasn't aroused at all. Maybe some routines or specific verbal game would have been effective here. However, I did grab her hand, hug, try to steer her, basically did well being physical. I also persisted at least once and got the snap rather than letting her disappear.

note: all her friends kind of faded into the background when it was just me and her talking. which is pretty cool, they understood what was happening and stayed out of the way. I definitely kept eye contact and maintained the frame of 'guy talking to girl, what's gonna happen', so that's good. I could've done better like I said with verbal game and getting her to want to spend more time with me- or potentially just seeding activities that would have to be done in my apartment, like playing guitar. She was also a solid 4 inches taller than me, which means she either had big heels on or is actually tall as fuck, because I'm not short.

We'll see what happens as a result of this. But for now, good night and sweet dreams. I'm making progress and I hope you are too.

 

[lceman]

SWOT addendum to last night's post, because it was more a recounting than an analysis.

what I did well:

• persisted staying in that first interaction with the asian chick. It was a little rough because she was not super friendly at first but it turned out she just wasn't super comfortable with english and talking to strangers
• was very social/outgoing/extraverted at the party and made new friends. Life is more fun like this.
• flirted with different girls by teasing and ballbusting etc
• opened physically in new ways- eg. holding my hand out and pulling her in, then asking "who are you" *got the most attraction this way*
• did well trying to get that last girl of the night back to my place. I was nowhere near it working (I think) but I did go for it.

what I will do better at next time:

• giving off a sexual vibe and making it clear that I am a straight man who likes sex, and girls in general.

now I have some snapchats. I should definitely follow up to see if anything happens, but I don't really know where to take things from here. Maybe it's best to soft close or have some inside joke so that I can snap them, banter a little, and move towards a meetup. Two things I don't want to do are immediately snap them asking for logistics for a future meetup, because going that directly over text hasn't worked so far, or snap something passive and be sucked into a dumb conversation. I guess the best way is to try something, and if that doesn't work, try something different.

**while I like texting better for having a conversation/figuring out logistics, I don't want tons of girls having my number. I also want hoes on snap, so they can send me sexy pics for me to look at when I'm bored. So, I'm going for snapchats from girls and not numbers.

I'll figure it out.

 

[lceman]

Hmm, it's been a few days. Since I last posted, there was a life event that happened which caused me to ponder my life as it currently is.

My main realization is that the habit of not being sociable is responsible for a lack of past progress with women. I've been living a life that is not conducive to success with women, and have basically been going at it in the hardest way possible. So, being more sociable is the main thing for me to keep in mind as I go about changing my life.

As far as girls, I came to realize that everything relating to success with women is about habits you have. The habit of saying hi, of continuing the conversation, of getting her number, of taking her home.... they are all habits that build on each other. Therefore, anything we do to "make progress" should be building a habit.

As far as actual 'game', I've gotten too many numbers that lead nowhere, and I'm pretty sure it's because my interactions are hit and run. It takes some balls to pull a girl out of a crowd, or stop her on the street, but it's almost like that's training resistance to social norms rather than actual skills with talking to women. So, it makes sense for me to start spending more time in interactions and see where that leads me.

Honestly, there's a lot more that could be written, but that's my check in. Moving forward: get in the habit of being sociable, and LEAD

 

[lceman]

I'm going to go over some of the baby steps I've taken in the last week.

Something I've done very well at is realizing when I'm taking action vs when I'm simply being in motion. The way to improve one's skills is to actually get out there and talk to girls, not reading anything on the site. Time spent in interactions is king.

What else?

• done well asking about her personally rather than simply holding the conversation- for example, if girls are talking about their major or the current environment or whatever
• went out to a downtown area alone at night for the first time
• got my first match on tinder (I need some better pictures, a real photoshoot is ideal)
• getting more in the habit of leading
• made a few friends at the gym, being more sociable in general
• went to the gym with a friend (chipping away at the habit of always doing things alone)
• the framework of baby steps is being ingrained in my brain. eg NOT putting on pajamas after showering on the chance I go out at night
• talked to people I knew in the past when I saw them out rather than avoiding them as I might have in the past
• Talked to a few girls and guys in the gym (breaking barrier of talking to others in the gym)
• Better at talking to random people when out and about
• Starting using some reality pacing type stuff, drawing her in lofty or fog style
• Have been shopping for new clothes/accessories (my style needs a makeover)

Cool. I'll also write my takeaways from a party I went to last night.

First of all, I only write down things that empower me and move me towards my goals. There will be no mention of things I could have//should have done or details of something I fucked up (unless I don't understand why and need feedback).
I suggest anyone who keeps a journal or takes daily notes to try this.

Thoughts:

• I almost didn't go. I had no clothes for the theme and I was almost 2 hours late, rolling up solo and sober. I baby stepped until I had driven to the house, and ended up attending. This was the most important choice of the night, to show up.
• I did well socializing, meeting new people, and cementing relationships with people I had met a couple times before.
• I did much better this time talking to girls specifically rather than guys or groups of people in general.
• I did well flirting with girls when I was talking to them.
• I started using more physicality, and calibrating according to how the girl responds. It was a successful test run.
• There was one set I played well, but simply left too early. I met her with a high five where we interlocked fingers and she was attracted for sure. We were talking to another dude; however I was put off by the fact she was two grades younger than me, and ended up leaving to talk to other people a minute or two later. This dude was kind of a chode and I didn't want to be in the conversation, in the future it would be better to just let him blow himself out and keep talking to the girl. Play the game.
• Did well leading, creating new topics, choosing when to leave/enter a conversation, etc... still a long way to go but it's going great
• Had a great thought while leaving- the idea that no matter what I said or did at the party, people will remember it as "Mav3rick was there!!" and not something dumb like he was weird or wasn't dressed up or whatever negative stories people tell themselves

• I do have some sort of resistance towards talking to girls that are younger than me//in a lower grade. Maybe it's an ego/pride thing? I'm not sure.
• I left because I decided to call it a night. This is not conducive to creating epic memories, I am working towards staying out later and going home not when I want to, but when the night is over.
• Overall, I was out socializing and talking to girls for 3 hours straight. That's a solid chunk of time for building my skills. I'm looking forward to more opportunities.

Oh, and one last thing: in order to make an epic story and progress as quickly as possible, it makes sense to choose one set and stay with it as long as possible. That'll be my focus next time.

 

[lceman]

Oh wow, it's been a full week since the last post. How time flies when you're busy making progress

the main debates I've been contending with: being sociable vs being sexual, sexual possibility vs sexual pursuit, sexy vs fun verbal game.

Notable steps forward:
I challenged Mist to a 30 day battle where we see who can get laid the most, to give myself a kick in the ass. Check out the thread here
I bought some shoes, a necklace, a couple shirts which is helping me level up my overall style
I had a few girls check out my fit as I was around campus, as well as a blatant approach invitation in the library- it's working
I did some things to improve my ability to get over fear in general, like learning a kong vault and doing backflips on a trampoline
I've been talking to more people and being more sociable in general
I've talked to a few girls in the gym just to get in positive habits and break barriers of the mind

There were lots of other small steps towards my ideals, too many to put here.

Mission: open silently. Verdict: success. Thoughts:
This was a bit weird. A good way to get over social anxiety of "what if they see me doing x weird thing"
something GREAT was when I got rejected, my very first thought was "hahaha fucken loser, how lame do you have to be to not engage w me"
(the end of this video)
Great for showing intention on a street stop- your eyes and body must say "I am here to speak with you"

Mission: use reality paces. Verdict: success. Thoughts:
There is a difference between reality pacing and verbal game in general. I think of 'verbal game' as the flowery, evocative language used by others such as fog, lofty, and bacchus. While bantering and cocky funny comes naturally to me, speaking this way does not. I felt like a fool attempting to bluster my way through the interaction and get my reality pace out there. Unfortunately I am tired and am not willing to write out each interaction, so to summarize, most were pretty damn awkward. I was not able to fluidly express and explain the world around me and what we both must be feeling, which meant the girl was standing (or sitting) there listening to me attempt to come up with expressive words. Although, in 2 of the 5 sets, the main girl I talked to was nice and tried to help me find the words, which was nice. That just goes to show how much you can screw up and still be ok if the girl is receptive.

TL;DR: I tried something new and was horrible at it, almost like I had never done it before. Such is the path of progress.

Mission: get sexual. Verdict: success. Thoughts:
Long story short, I went to a party, and as I said I would from last time, I zeroed in on one girl, stayed until the end of the party, and flirted more sexually. For example, she scratches me with her nail I say careful, I'm getting excited, I misinterpret her comments, basically making it obvious that this is a sexual encounter. She ends up giving me a ride home but had her roommate in the car I didn't make anything happen so nothing happened. I did make a token effort to invite her to hang out where I live more than once, but it just didn't quite seem like that kind of interaction. Also, I may have taken an L to another guy chatting her up while I was going around talking to other people, so I couldn't tell how close I actually was at the end of the night. Oh well, that's from an extended social circle so I'll see her next week.
I did use some physicality to ping and see where I was (progress) and she was neutral, which I thought was weird because she was very responsive to the conversation. Maybe I wasn't forward enough, maybe (probably) I didn't do a lot of things that should've been done, oh well. All I know is I accomplished my personal mission and established my sexuality more openly, so I'll call that a W every day of the week.

One last note before I go to bed, on sexual possibility vs sexual pursuit. These are my terms to explain a phenomena where girls are definitely not platonic friends, but aren't ready to have sex anytime soon. The interaction just feels different, I don't know how to explain it better.

Sexual possibility = you're more than friends, there's definitely some attraction there, some light flirting, but no moves are being made. I have a few open loops like this, where it's like she has to know without a doubt that you want her in order for things to move forward.

Sexual pursuit = you've MADE IT CLEAR you're interested in her sexually, and now all you're doing is figuring out a way to make it happen.

I believe I've been stuck sticking girls in possibility mode due to me not being aggressive enough. Which brings me to my next mission:
burn her to the ground.
I'm in my hometown for the weekend visiting family and I'll go talk to girls when I'm out shopping and stuff. I'll be bumping into girls I'll never see again, which means I have no excuse to not make myself very clear about why I'm talking to her. Communicate clear sexual interest, and look for any possibility of a same day meet up, because I'll be gone soon. This is also highlighting the difference between talking to a person because you're sociable, and talking to a girl because you're sexual.

That's all for tonight! Sweet dreams.
-Mav

 

[lceman]

I'm going to write more or less a FR, because I had an experience last night that I'm not super happy with.

So, as I said, I went back to visit family this weekend. I was out shopping one day and talked to some girls, which I thought went pretty well. Most of them were clearly attracted, and I managed to get across the sexual undertone without directly stating anything. So, my vibe was good.

But last night, I went to a party with some friends, and my vibe was not good. I don't know what was going on, but I simply wasn't dialed in. I wasn't in my zone. At first, there were no girls I found attractive really so I was socializing a bit and hanging with my buddies. I wasn't feeling it, so at one point I stepped outside to take a breather and realized I hasn't really been talking to any girls. So, I caught myself and went back in; this time I did a solid 5-10 approaches (I wasn't counting). I went and at least had a small conversation with all the girls who were somewhat attractive. But not one of these girls was into me. I think my vibe was off and none of them were attracted based on appearance alone. There was one cute girl I saw near the end where we had some sexually charged eye contact... and then she slipped out the door, never to be seen again. I was left to socialize and honestly did a pretty shit job at it. Something about knowing I'll never see most of these people again made me not want to bother meeting and getting to know them. This is likely a bad habit that should be broken.

But in conclusion, my vibe was pretty shit for the night. I did talk to just about all the somewhat attractive girls there (except the one who was my type that I didn't see before...smh). I wasn't getting much of any attraction at all. Maybe it had something to do with me being tied down to the past in terms of what my old friends expected of me, maybe I was just being lame for not engaging with others, maybe it was a million other things.
I feel like I made no progress except some experience getting rejected, and the only reason I really got rejected is because I didn't want those girls in the first place.

Some nights, you have everything; other nights, you have nothing. In a normal distribution, there will be outliers, and I'm taking this as a sign to play the numbers game harder and dismiss this as random chance.

****since writing this, I was talking with my buddies, and we agreed these girls were wack and not that hot to begin with. So maybe my vibe was fine and these girls were just not open to meeting hot guys like me.

Now, because my mindset entire being is geared towards improvement, I'm moving away from encouraging any sort of negativity and instead going to write out my baby steps forward, the progress I made, and label this experience as something empowering so I can move on. So, let's talk about all the things that went well.

• caught myself partway through the party and refocused to go talk to girls
• learned through experience that I don't have to be in a top state to approach
• got rejected a few times which is always good for growth
• observed some differences of day vs night game- for example getting to the point/being direct
• saw firsthand what people are doing to actually pull ass, how house party hookups happen
• practiced social skills of course
• practiced spotting girls who are out to meet guys vs simply out with friends
• didn't really give a fuck what people thought when I went to do things
• was more of a leader in general, being a leader is a big part of being a man

Overall, I was not super happy this morning or at the end of last night, but as I look back, I see that it was most definitely a fruitful night out and I learned valuable things and made valuable progress. On to the next one.

 

[lceman]

volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume volume

any problem I have can be solved with more volume, by talking to more girls and spending more time in those interactions.