what exactly do ask them?
gambits you run?
i’m trying to narrow this down because off the top of my head i can’t think of an instance where a girl that was into me, was uncomfortable talking about sex.
One thing I had started doing was talking about dating experiences and what they like in guys.
Usual answers to that are things like: I want him to be honest, to respect me, to be there for me etc
Then I may say ok and what makes you really excited, and I may get myself into how the sexual connection is vital because that’s the deepest form of experience between a man and a woman.
Here I have gotten answers ranging from I only do sex when there is connection and I need my time, to yes sex is good but only a part of the equation.
And I can feel with a lot of these girls that I need to put a lot of effort into reframing sex as something natural that can happen fast and be great. And generally they seem like they would prefer to talk about something else compared to how they experience sex and what they enjoy about it, they feel a bit on guard or like I only want them for it.
At the same time of course I’ve had girls that have been hornier, or more sexual that when I took the topic there, they discussed about it casually and were quite receptive to me being openly sexual.
Of course these last ones are way easier to just pull and get sexual with, my question would be what is the best way to prime the previous ones for sex.
At some point I felt that maybe not talking explicitly about it and going a bit under the radar till you get home and escalate is a way, but I think sooner or later you will face some objections about going too fast anyway.
So maybe it is better to just ease it into the conversation in general, go for reframes as much as you can and if they really are adamant about not having sex till x amount of time, you are simply not a good match.
Because the biggest trap is indeed when you do have a sexual vibe with a girl, you feel that you are on the same page, but when you go to escalate she gives resistance and wants to wait, and you realise you should have addressed it way earlier to see where you stand.
I think I just read about a lot of pulls and hook ups that happen without explicit sex talk and I am wondering how do people know that it’s not needed, the girl is down for it and won’t give LMR, and if there is a way to structure my interactions to feel like that without specifically talking about it, or if it’s just better to always talk about it to be safe.