Skippy's Daygame Journal

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background

I crashed this afternoon. Took a nap at 3 and woke up at 5:10, completely missing my alarm clock which I set for 30 min. I finally got ready and left the house at 5:40 again lol. And since it's getting dark sooner, my window of time to approach is decreasing. I passed by two girls I had approached before. One was hbmagenta. I pretended to be on my phone as she walked by. I think she glanced at me as she passed actually. I probably should've waved to her.

My Outfit:
Olive green v-neck, black jeans, etc...You get the idea

Girl 1: hbaccountant. She was hot, and I felt genuine attraction for her. But the funny thing is if she wasn't wearing jean shorts, I probably wouldn't have realized this. She stops very solidly and I compliment her on her walk. She tells me she has a boyfriend but thanks me for stopping her like that. We chat for a minute, during which my verbals were jittery and nervous. I even actively let her interrupt me. But she wasn't blowing me out and so that was encouraging. Some points: I asked pretty boring questions, like what she does. She's an accountant. I ask her if she loves it but she doesn't. So I ask her why shes doing it then. But in general I was in boring interview mode. I think this is because it was the first approach of the day.

But it's okay, because I realized the importance of doing some small actions to gain and maintain social momentum, especially in my specific venue where attractive girls pop up randomly. So in the meantime, when I walk by people, I will just wish them a good evening or something, in order to stay socially lubricated. I will look into more ways to get in State.

I also realized, THIS is how you can "approach girls as you go about your day". You need to be making small talk and bantering with people along the way so that by chance when an attractive girl pops up, you can immediately transition into seducer mode. I will test this idea out at some point. Currently, I'm not a fan of "just approach girls as you go about your day". I like actually going out for focused daygame sessions. But in the future when I get really good at cold approach, I might want to transition to that.

Calling the girl from yesterday:
Let's name her hbinterior because she's an interior designer. I approached her yesterday and I called her today. We talked on the phone for about 40 minutes. I actually think this is a good length. Maybe I should've shortened to about 30 min. We talked about a variety of topics like happiness, immigration stuff(since she's on an h1b—I get it's probably not the best topic but in her case she's not stressed about it because she has a job and has a few years on her h1b still) Some mild banter where I teased her that she probably tells her mom all about the boys she has a crush on.

I qualified her on being adventurous and set some more frames around that, for example how when you're traveling you can reinvent yourself and how no one knows who you are in the new country. Standard stuff, tbh. I was the one talking more, although she would pick it up occasionally. I asked her the golden question and learned that she's a coffee aficionado. She describes it as she drinks coffee the same way people smoke cigarettes. I relate to her by saying that's how I feel about lavender tea. Also, when we were talking about happiness, I explained to her the concept of flow and asked her if she's experienced that and she said she does with her interior design job because it's stressful but she absolutely loves it. I relate to her with how I feel about math and that it's enjoyable when I'm tapping into that flow state. Note to self: whenever I mention that I'm studying math, most people react with "ugh that's too hard, I could never do that" Transitioning into talking about flow and asking them when they experience it and relating that to math is a very promising way to build similarity.
I start wrapping up the conversation by asking her what she's doing the rest of the day. And on a high point I ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime. She was down. I asked her what times are good and confirmed around 6 or 7some day to trigger commitment consistency. I texted her two hours after the call and so far there was no response, but I think she fell asleep actually because she was wishing me goodnight when we ended the call and she was sleepy.

I tried a short 10min phone call with hbdancer but it felt abrupt when I ended it and she didn't pick up a subsequent call (which reminds me, I need to fucking message her again. maybe video message this time). Also there was some uncomfortableness with hbdancer that I didn't resolve. I also tried the short 10min call with this swedish-turkish chick about a year ago but she went cold afterward and started blowing me off (not in the good way).

Then there was the long, 1-hour call I did with the korean HR girl/model. That would've panned out into a date if her logistics weren't crap. She lives an hour away from my district so she bailed on plans that we were making. Then one day she randomly showed up in my district and wanted to hang out but I declined because it was last minute and I was busy

I think I'll explore more the 20-30 min range and ask girls out on a date on a high point.

What I did well:
  1. I approached hbaccountant even though she was about to turn the corner in an odd direction. So many times I avoid approaching a girl because she turns to go in an odd direction.
  2. I kept the conversation going even though she said she had a bf at first.
  3. I actually called hbinterior, I was not too apprehensive. Maybe this means my nervousness around phone calls is diminishing.
What I could've done better:
  1. Build social momentum in this area by just casually saying hi to the people walking by. Or just by giving a compliment and ejecting. Make a rule of thumb to have one interaction every 10-15 minutes.
  2. Leaving the house earlier
  3. There was a girl who glanced at me twice that I was standing next to during an intersection that I didnt approach. I guess I didn't want the people standing right behind me to listen in on the conversation. This is something I need to get used to, I guess, and it's an added challenge with stationary girls. What I would do normally is just wait until they start moving and then open them. Not sure why I didn't do that here in this case.
  4. Could've done a turn around approach on a girl that walked past. I think I've been reluctant to do them lately because of a recent string of awkward blow outs that I got. This just means it's that much more important to keep doing them until I get some good reactions so that the blowouts fade from my memory.
  5. I only did 1 approach today. I detailed two more approaches that I should've/could've done. I'm sure there were plenty of other opportunities if I was really hustling
Homework for next time:
Set an alarm for 4:30 and get ready to go out, when the alarm rings. Every 15 minutes, if you havent made an approach, build social momentum by giving someone a compliment in passing, or saying hi. One idea is to give a compliment in passing to a girl who is standing by a subway stop with lots of people nearby. This will also train me to be more comfortable opening when other people are around.
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
I left the house around 5:10. My goal was to do 2 stationary approaches and 4 approaches in total, while making sure to do warm up interactions every 10-15 minutes. So that I could go in whenever I see an attractive girl. I ended up doing 3 actual approaches and one which I'll count as half.

My Outfit
Thin gray v-neck. black jeans, gray and white bead bracelet. White sneakers. Navy blue polka-dotted facemask.

Girl 1
I was about to let her pass by, but then I realized: just approaching is a win for me. Because if I do enough approaches, I'll find some girls who are into me and I'll get my dick wet. It reminds me of this mindset that Chase talks about:

Approach Anxiety: 1 Simple Mindset Flip to Talk to More Girls

So I turned around and went after her. She stopped at the intersection. I told her I thought she looked really attractive, but I didn't have enough conviction in my words when I opened her and I began to doubt whether I thought she was actually that cute. She was though. She didn't seem super keen and after I asked her what she was up to today, she mumbled something and then just kept facing forward. (away from me) So I just wished her a good day.

Girl 2
Right after I did that approach, I went up the street and a girl on her bike stopped next to me to check directions or something. I complimented her on her black+white style and we exchanged names, but then she said she wasn't really interested in meeting new people right now.

Girl 3
She gave me the No-English Gambit before I even got a word in. She was an older Korean woman I was planning to just compliment in passing for the momentum. That's why this counts as a half-approach.

Girl 4: hbgauge

Latina with curves in all the right places. I noticed her standing by a subway stop and told her she looked like she was glowing so I had to meet her. And I point out the little heart embroidered on her facemask looks nice. She seemed reasonably receptive. I find out she's waiting for an uber because she messed up with the subway and she's trying to go somewhere really close by. So I gave her shit for being like a tourist. I could've gone further with this "Yea I can totally picture you with a fanny pack and an oversized Hawaiian t-shirt". I had her show me her earrings which I thought looked nice. She told me they're fake, otherwise, she'd probably get mugged. I said "or even if you don't get mugged they'd be so heavy your ears stretch out and be like a Buddhist monk's". She tells me that she used to have gauges but she got rid of them and now the holes have closed up.

Me: My friend has a theory about people with gauges
Her: Oh what is it?
Me: (building some intrigue) But it's a little offensive... Can you handle it?
Her: oh hmm...fine :)
Me: So you've been to Chipotle, right? Well his theory is that the bigger the gauges of the employee, the stingier they are when they're serving out food.

She finds it funny and tells me how she never worked at Chipotle but when she worked at a fancy restaurant she was not like that. We talk a little bit more about stuff. The conversation changed to voting and registration because of her situation and so I have her guess where I'm from. But anyway the Uber arrives and I suggest we exchange contact info. She wants to give me her instagram but I say I don't do instagram so I suggest exchanging numbers, but she's not down for that. There's not really much time to change her mind because she has to get into the uber, so it was a wash. What I should've done is vibe with her quickly, build some compliance with the earrings, have her move to the side a little bit. And then on a high note, suggest that we exchange numbers and that I give her a call sometime. Do this before her uber comes. Then chat with her for a minute or so after and bounce.

Hbinterior
Still in the process of scheduling a date with her. I proposed Sunday yesterday and it turns out she can't do this weekend so she asked if I was free next week and told me that any weekday after 6 works for her. I said that works and suggested Monday, but she hasn't texted back yet. I think it shouldn't be a problem though. Very likely I'll be able to get her out on a date.

What I did well:
  1. Switched my mindset to "just approaching is a win. enough approaches = results" and this served me well today. I can think of this as "just looking to uncover attraction" as explained in Chase's article.
  2. Minor Hi's and Hello's throughout the outing to up social momentum
  3. I had a lot of fun with hbgauge and I didn't feel stifled when talking to her
What I could've done better:
  1. With sets where it's a short window of time, try to build as much compliance+similarity as possible, and exchange numbers before she has to leave. Then call her the next day.
  2. Upon further thought, did hbgauge need more arousal or more similarity? I was building mostly arousal by teasing her. She was reacting well to them but she was still almost qualifying herself by affirming to me that she was a local for example. So maybe I needed to build more similarity first. And then when she didn't want to exchange numbers and only exchange instagram, it made me think she needed more similarity because she probably just saw me as this 'random dude' still. She did ask some questions about me, whether I live in the area, what I'm up to today, but I think that means she needed more similarity and compliance.
  3. I was not pre-opening that well today
  4. I forgot if I was smiling with my eyes, I'll need to keep that in mind. Actually, I'm wondering if my eye contact is a little bit too intense sometimes and whether I need to dial it down.
Homework for next time:
Same as last time, hit 4 approaches, 2 of which are stationary approaches, and every 10-15 minutes if I don't approach a girl, find a way to build social momentum.
 
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Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
"If you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen to you all day"
I started the day off with a freezing cold shower (eating my frog) to see if it would help with dealing with approach anxiety. I ended up doing 3.5 approaches and got one number.

My Outfit
Thin gray v-neck w/ henley-style buttoning. Black jeans, white sneakers, gray bead bracelet

Girl 1: Tanned asian girl with long hair in a ponytail, holding a bunch of bags and tea. circular sunglasses. She was wearing a white t-shirt and baggy light blue jeans (the kind that edgy hipster chicks wear that still show off the outline of their ass).
I told myself to just think about her amazing ass and use that to motivate myself to approach. She was standing by the stoplight. I approached her by telling her she has great taste in sneakers. (They looked interesting). She was receptive and her voice was very high pitched.

Me: And what are you up to today. I see you've got your boba
Her: it's a Mango drink. I'm just running errands
Me: sounds fun.
Me: And I'm guessing you do something in...graphic design
Her: Actually I work in fashion!
Me: Oh so at least it's something creative
Her: yea haha
Her: (we reach the other end of the intersection) well I'm going this way, it was nice meeting you
Me: okay cya
Her: take care.
Looks like I was slow on the uptake. I could've instead:
  1. Just gone for the number close
  2. Before we crossed the street, I could've figured out which direction she was heading, told her to stop and chat with a cute guy for a minute and then number close
  3. Or after she tries to end it, by parting ways say "Oh before you run off, are you in a big hurry?" and if she says no, tell her to stop and chat for 2 min if she says yes, then just go for the numer close.

Half approach: Complimented a slightly older woman who was totally on point in her outfit. She was wearing pink and white and everything was well coordinated. I told her she was a "stylish strawberry shortcake". She was actually really receptive and really happy that I approached her. But I spied a ring on her hand and although I was attracted to her figure I wasn't too sure I'd be attracted to her face underneath the facemask and sunglasses. But, those are all lame excuses. It doesn't hurt to push the interaction further and number close eventually.

Girl 2: hbphysical Tanned Korean girl wearing white jean shorts, and a floral top. Also had a nice a$$ and nice legs. Freshly painted toenails.
She was receptive to my opener. I basically told her I liked her floral top, and I wanted to find out if she was interesting. I was talking a little bit too fast. It turns out she was going to get dessert with a girlfriend and was waiting for her to pick her up. I stayed on that thread too long. Then I tried to guess what she does. Turns out she's a physical therapist. and she asked me what I do and I had her guess. She thought I did something in communication—But at that moment her girlfriend, who was picking her up, called so she took the phone. I just looked around bored. I considered checking my phone, but I figured she was going to wrap up the call pretty quickly, which she did. Turns out her friend was here. So I suggested we exchange numbers and I give her a call sometime. She immediately agreed. I was in the middle of putting down her number when she said:

Her: 123—Actually, I'm okay I'm not going to give it to you. haha. No offense! Was this her FSC kicking in?
Me: [playful 'dafuq' expression]
Her: —Arrite fine 456-7890
Me: Okay cool, I'll give you a call sometime
Her: Sounds good!
So that was odd...Anyways, I sent her an icebreaker 4 hours later and she responded enthusiastically. But I realize my approach could've been better and I could've done a better job cutting that thread.

Girl 3: Brunette with a great ass and great figure in general, wearing a black tank top and tight black jeans. She was holding a black facemask in her hands.
As I walk up to her, I realize she's got some lines on her forehead and her voice sounds more masculine than mine. Probably a smoker, I guess. But she's still attractive, just less than I originally realized. I compliment her on her all black outfit and her 'elegant vibe'. It's hard to describe but she seemed really chill in her demeanor. She is mildly receptive but doesn't talk much but not in a bad way, mainly because she seems to be the introverted type and also I sense that English is not her first language. I learn that she does graphic design for videogames and it turns out we're going to the same place. She's from Brazil. This could've been a good opportunity to tease her about being a soccer fan or something and also set the traveler frame. I noticed she had tattoos and used that to get some extra compliance by having her show me and then qualifying her by saying "what I like about people with tattoos is that they are not super anal about the rules and that's a good thing because it would be very boring if you're just following the rules all the time"—I got this line from something Chase posted a while back.

The topic of visas comes up so I tease her that she could marry an American citizen.(I can do a better job with this, maybe say something like 'seduce an American citizen' so it's more like a chase frame...BUT this is a delicate issue in general so I have to be careful with this. Perhaps better is to just figure out if it's something that's stressing her out and if it isn't then tease her about it) This is where she asked me where I grew up and it would've been a great opportunity to chase frame "You just met me and you're already trying to figure out how to seduce me for a green card".
Anyway we reach the grocery store that we were both headed to and then we went separate ways. I guess I could've tried to go for the number, but she mentioned a boyfriend earlier. So it was just good conversational practice.

hbinterior: Ironically, she ghosted me after I sent the scheduler text but she was asking for my schedule before that. I'll wait another day and then I will post about this in more detail. To see if anyone has suggestions for how to deal with the ghost. My guess is she got boinked this weekend and lost interest.

What I did well:
  1. I talked about flow state with Girl3 and used that to relate to what she does with what I do.
  2. I was feeling the daygame buzz today. Maybe that cold shower helped.
What I could've done better:
  1. Always Be Closing. Too many interactions, I just let slip by without going for the number, because I thought it was too soon and she'd just blow me off. But today was an example of how even very short interactions can still lead to numbers. Number close even if she doesn't seem interested! I already know this, but I had forgotten. Some more rust to shake off!
  2. When talking about traveling, use the "alone in a big city" gambit and make it more immersive for her using Baccus's tips. I had forgotten about this, which means I could make it a point to practice the traveling SOT. So I should take a SOT, come up with a way to transition into it, and then flesh out things to say about it. I'll start with traveling. It's time that I make a conversational framework for myself rather than just loosely winging it. One rough framework is Open—>Figure out logistics(what are you up to/where are you heading)—>cold read/assumptions—>tease and banter based off of her response—>Golden Question. Let's just keep it at this for now, but I'll work on it. I'd like to keep the framework 5-10 minutes long because that's the sweet spot, but other things I want to try are, for example, aggressively stacking compliance or adding screening and qualifying, push/pull, or setting premise. These can be added in depending on what part of SAC she needs more of.
  3. At certain points in the audio, it was a little hard for me to hear myself. Could be that I need to speak clearer and project better at certain points. And some things, I don't say with conviction.
Homework for next time:
Ask 4 girls for their number and flesh out the traveling SOT and conversational framework before going out
 
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Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
I decided to go out around 3 this time. I had taken a cold shower this morning and hadn't fapped since last thursday at least. 3 Approaches, 1 number. Lets get to it.

My Outfit:
Black v-neck, black jeans, blue floral facemask, white sneakers, bead bracelet.
Girl 1:
Me: Hi :)
Her: The fuck'choo want
Me: Never mind...

Girl 2:
She said it was hard to hear me because of the mask but also she didn't seem too receptive and did not want to talk. So I ejected. Come to think of it, a friend that I ran into also had trouble understanding me when I was wearing that mask. Looks like I'll have to be extra clear and project!

Girl 3: Cute Japanese girl
I complimented her on her outfit and hair. Her english was really bad but she still stopped when I opened her. I asked her what she was up to today and she said she was here to study english. I guess she didn't really understand me. But I teased her that it's lucky a cute boy came up to speak to her because that way she can get english practice. She chuckles at this

I tell her that I'm out on a walk and tried to give rich verbals to describe the weather and how it affects our mood and makes me want to go for a walk. But it seemed to confuse her so I change the thread.

Next, I tried to relate to her about language and study abroad by sharing my experience with it. Then I had her spin around to show me her outfit properly. She did it very slowly and tentatively. This means her compliance is not high enough and I need to build more similarity and arousal. But.. which one...? I'm going to guess Arousal because when I teased her about practicing english with a cute guy she gave the most reaction. But I'm thinking about this after the fact so I did not test it out properly at the time.

I tried to get her to keep walking but then she said she is in a bit of a rush and needs to get home and I could not understand what she was saying and so I offered to use the translator. The interaction unraveled after that. This probably seemed to her like asking for more investment, which was the wrong way to go because in her case, she needed more arousal and similarity. In a last-ditch effort, I showed her my LINE messenger and she added me on that. She likes Tea. So I suggested if we get along on chat, we can get tea and she said okay. But I don't know how much she understood, honestly. I sent her an ice breaker message and she didn't respond. I'm not terribly surprised.

hbphysical: I tried calling her today at 8pm and she didn't respond. So I sent a text. Next time I'll try calling on thursday and leave a voicemail. This is definitely a girl to use some persistence on. She's attractive enough and seems flighty enough that it's worth it.

hbinterior: Still no response to the text. The thing is, I'm leaving to visit family in a week, so I'd like to set up something before that. Ordinarily I would just wait a week and reinitiate. But that would be too last minute in this case. Hmm...

What I did well:
  1. I tried to get some compliance from the Japanese girl by asking her to turn around
  2. I persisted with the japanese girl to at least exchange contacts after she said she was in a rush.
What I could've done better:
  1. I should've shifted to a more playful vibe with the Japanese girl and flirted more. I guess I was too hung up on my 'conversational framework', that I didn't realize this. For example, I could've playfully accused her of just coming here to study English so that she could seduce a cute American boy. e.g. Her: I came here to study English. Me: You're just trying to find an american boyfriend! Don't lie ;)
  2. Projection. One option is to remove the filter in my mask. But thats dubious...Alternatively just record myself with and without the mask to see how much I need to change this.
Approach 4 girls and test your conversational framework on them, and number close unless they're very obviously uninterested. Rule of Thumb—If they so much as smile and say "thank you" on the compliment, just number close eventually. Regardless of how it ends.

I will post a draft of my conversational framework later tomorrow. Even if the framework is faulty, I reckon it's important to make one so that I have a more systematic way of analyzing my interactions. Right now it's just "Oh you did this and it wasn't effective. Do this next time". But there's no general cohesion to it.
 

Lofty

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
72
Hey @Skippy!

I’ve really enjoyed following your journal. You have great consistency, and I’m always engrossed by your light, playful vibe. Also, I see that you are doing something rather challenging. One of the few here who is even attempting this… and that’s daygaming with a mask on, and approaching girls who also have masks on. So props for that.

Again, I can dive into my discourse about how I’m not too seasoned at this point, and my rawness sizzles on full display in my journal, and you're more advanced than me anyway. However, I’d be doing a disservice to the community if I passed on the opportunity to lend my regards and perhaps share a few thoughts. But please do take these little black letters on a white screen with a grain of salt.

On to the nitty-gritty.

Foremost, I know you’ve said before that you still have some apprehension about approaching stationary cuties – something that I see that you’re working on.
Stationary girls and walking-towards-me girls are still situations in which I'm hilariously bad about approaching.

Homework for next time:

Approach 2 stationary girls, and do 4 approaches in total tomorrow. Leave the house around 5, this time to give myself more time before it gets dark.
I’ll say this about these opportune scenarios. I've learned that stationary girls are our friends, Skippy. Like, best friends. Because we don’t need to worry about getting them stopped or walking with them; the only thing we need to do is reel her into our world of seduction. Her attention is waiting to be grabbed, and we can easily snatch it away from her phone with a dose of sexy-man intrigue. Experience has shown me time and time again that my hook rates are very good with these static chicks. Honestly, I didn't really get this until Bacchus told me something similar.

Of course – and this is something that I’m trying to get better at as well – the goal is to open whatever girl we want. Whenever. However.

I like what Gunwitch says about this subject: I want THAT girl and I WILL get her. Combine that with the idea of the Anytime Seducer (I think that’s a Chase term?), and we’re primed for seduction in every scenario… but still, I think that it’s also sometimes okay to take advantage of a wide-open jumpshot (stationary girl) rather than a three-pointer with a defender in our face… with the shot clock winding down (moving girl). Hmmmm.

But AA is tricky, and not something that I’ve fully conquered either. Maybe a tactic that could help ease the stress in these situations would be looking into concepts such as hovering and even inducing approach invitations, which are some ideas that really helped me. People are awkward nowadays, but it’s still not unordinary to float around the scene and casually ask the person standing next to you in the subway how their day is going. Plus, I think catching that little flickering ember in the eye of a hottie is just that little bit of extra fire needed to get your words flowing.

More on AA - not sure if you've already read about this, but one of the topics du jour on these boards about approach anxiety is TRE. My thoughts here will be clear. Clear as the blue sky on a cloudless summer day.

I had a really bad AA relapse back in September. Every approach opportunity shot aches through my gut. My progress slowed. I was mentally drained. Initially, I just tried to fight it, but it wasn’t working – it was worsening. I remembered a thread from earlier this year about some thought-provoking practice called TRE and looked back into it. I saw myself in these approach ability archetypes as well, so that became more reason to delve into this peculiar... thing.

Though, skepticism would be too light of a word for my first thoughts toward TRE. I mean, one look at the videos shows us scrawny-looking old people flailing around on the floor like chickens. But hey. Carousel and COCPORN are some pretty smart dudes. Who am I to not give it a whirl?

So give it a whirl I did. And flailing around on the floor like chickens I did.

By the end, I was laughing manically. Like what? No doubt one of the oddest experiences in my life, and I had no idea what to make of it after I finished. But when I went back in the field, I felt like I was a Tribal Elder out there. Gaming girls with no trials… no tribulations… and vastly diminished AA.

Yeah, I’d say that it was worth my time. If you want to test it out, I found this video useful for the actual procedure of doing it. Perhaps the most unexpectedly helpful things in life may not be the most logical, but that’s okay, I think…

Now since I’m already here, I might as well share a few thoughts about your latest outing.
Girl 1:
Me: Hi

Her: The fuck'choo want

Me: Never mind...
Yeah, she needs to lighten up! I faced a similar scenario in a two-set last week and ejected too soon. But I'm now thinking that maybe there’s no harm in sticking out these sets for a little bit longer to see what’s up – is she a jerk… or is it a harmless knee-jerk reaction? I’ll be working on finding the real answer in these situations, too, because we already approached so why not?
She said it was hard to hear me because of the mask but also she didn't seem too receptive and did not want to talk. So I ejected. Come to think of it, a friend that I ran into also had trouble understanding me when I was wearing that mask. Looks like I'll have to be extra clear and project!
Seems like the mask is a keeper stylistically, though! I remember Velasco vouching for floral masks as well.
Girl 3: Cute Japanese girl

I complimented her on her outfit and hair. Her english was really bad but she still stopped when I opened her. I asked her what she was up to today and she said she was here to study english. I guess she didn't really understand me. But I teased her that it's lucky a cute boy came up to speak to her because that way she can get english practice. She chuckles at this

I tell her that I'm out on a walk and tried to give rich verbals to describe the weather and how it affects our mood and makes me want to go for a walk. But it seemed to confuse her so I change the thread.
Ha, @Dreamer and @terminator92 would take interest here! Both have spoken of their difficulties using eloquent verbals to non-native English speakers. I get it, yeah. But I know that Bacchus has pulled Russian smokeshows fresh off the boat. And Teevster has traversed all across Europe talking about dark femininity, social standards using the metaphor of a house, and the 8 types of orgasms. Actually, what Teevster writes here is just about the same as my experiences so far using verbals:
Just to prove how "illogical" you can be and get away with it:

Alek: Have you ever been in a situation, with someone, where the vibe is magical, yet doesn't make any sense... it is like you do not understand what is going on, yet you feel something that makes totally sense to you, and this sensation allows you to escape earth, like if you were flying, yet at the same time you are so much grounded on earth, and hence being pulled in two different world, allowing you to create your own personal space... of freedom... with no control, yet you control it, because you are in control of yourself, while this allows you to totally let go, and act upon your passions, yet while you act upon it, the sensation becomes to strong.... and that you feel like holding back, and as you hold back you end up desiring even more?

Her: OMG OMG SO TRUE!!! WOAH

And If have said similar in field. Not even a joke.

That all said...

To stimulate her: talk emotional

To deal with her resistance: talk rational (while dealing with emotions)

For logistics: 100% rational

Switching back and forth between both is ideal - as you get the positive effects of fractionation.
I've definitely seen the same despite the differences in intelligence and verbose of these girls. I could be saying whatever, and I think in every time but one, the girl has just nodded enthusiastically and been like, “Yeah, totally!”

Meanwhile, I’m speaking with the abstractness of Jackson Pollack. So there's some mystery in how to most effectively approach non-native/fluent speakers. Perhaps a simplification could be useful in these scenarios, too, because I think the verbals would still prove fruitful. Like instead of:
“I’ve just realized something fascinating – maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how the temperature… the vibe of the air… can really influence… the way that we feel? Like now… the temperature has cooled… and we’re relaxed as a result… but the brisk air tells us that something exciting is within the realm of possibility... urging us to go on a walk and see what happens... don't you agree?
We can maybe change it to:
“I’ve just realized something interesting – maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how happy we feel when it’s so beautiful outside? Like now… we can feel how the weather is so… nice… relaxing… and calming… I'm on a walk and it’s like everyone is so adventurous today... and the day just keeps getting better and better. Know what I mean?
And then it’s more easily understood, but of course the intention with these is also immersion, too. So we’ve still got our listing, pacing and leading, and tag question. The tag question could be helpful to ensure that she understands, or at least is trying to prove to you that she understands – even if she really doesn’t.

Overall, yeah, just another tool in the toolbox. An arrow in the quiver.

I like how you tried to incorporate this type of verbal into your direct game, so I’m sure that you’ll find an aptly creative way to use whatever best fits the situation. What’s more is that it looks like you’re in a very diverse area, so I can tell how you’re already very innovative and adaptable.

Lastly, I get the sense that you’re quite the analytical person, so I like your formatting as well! Allows for plenty of reflection and illuminates the room for improvement. Reminds me that I need to get back to a bit more analysis myself.

Yep, really enjoying the journal here, Skippy!

P.S. I was super happy to see you saw that cutie Lemon again :p
 
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Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Hey @Lofty! Wow...lots of nuggets of insight here

I’ll say this about these opportune scenarios. I've learned that stationary girls are our friends, Skippy. Like, best friends. Because we don’t need to worry about getting them stopped or walking with them; the only thing we need to do is reel her into our world of seduction. Her attention is waiting to be grabbed, and we can easily snatch it away from her phone with a dose of sexy-man intrigue. Experience has shown me time and time again that my hook rates are very good with these static chicks. Honestly, I didn't really get this until Bacchus told me something similar.
That's great to hear! Now that you mention it, this reminds me; Varoon and Bacchus were also talking about this on the podcast once and they both had really good things to say about stationary sets. And if I recall correctly, Varoon even said how remarkable it is that the girl may be walking but if you open her when she's temporarily stationary, your odds of actually sleeping with her increase dramatically.

You bring up an important reminder that I could be embracing the stationary opportunities more. Another quirk that I have is when I approach a moving girl, sometimes she'll stop on her own(I rarely stop them myself). This is a good thing, but when we're stopped and talking, I'll usually get antsy and try to get her to resume walking with me after a bit. I should also learn to hold the tension longer. And another idea is even if I want to approach a moving girl, I could wait until we both reach the stoplight before I go in.

I like what Gunwitch says about this subject: I want THAT girl and I WILL get her. Combine that with the idea of the Anytime Seducer (I think that’s a Chase term?), and we’re primed for seduction in every scenario… but still, I think that it’s also sometimes okay to take advantage of a wide-open jumpshot (stationary girl) rather than a three-pointer with a defender in our face… with the shot clock winding down (moving girl). Hmmmm.
Yea it's funny because for me the analogy is flipped. For some reason, I'm really comfortable with side approaches of moving sets and more anxious with stationary sets. But given enough acclimatization, I'm confident that I can get comfortable with static girls too. And as you said, there are some built-in advantages with them. I actually started out only doing front stops until someone suggested side-stops and then those became my bread and butter.

But AA is tricky, and not something that I’ve fully conquered either. Maybe a tactic that could help ease the stress in these situations would be looking into concepts such as hovering and even inducing approach invitations, which are some ideas that really helped me. People are awkward nowadays, but it’s still not unordinary to float around the scene and casually ask the person standing next to you in the subway how their day is going. Plus, I think catching that little flickering ember in the eye of a hottie is just that little bit of extra fire needed to get your words flowing.
These are great ideas! One of the reasons why I feel more AA with stationary girls is that there's less time to gather my thoughts and figure out how to open. So hovering, for example, could also buy me more time. And inducing approach invitations could be like pre-opening for moving sets. Yep I'm thinking back to the last few times I did stationary opens and I did not utilize these tools.

But AA is tricky, and not something that I’ve fully conquered either. Maybe a tactic that could help ease the stress in these situations would be looking into concepts such as hovering and even inducing approach invitations, which are some ideas that really helped me. People are awkward nowadays, but it’s still not unordinary to float around the scene and casually ask the person standing next to you in the subway how their day is going. Plus, I think catching that little flickering ember in the eye of a hottie is just that little bit of extra fire needed to get your words flowing.

More on AA - not sure if you've already read about this, but one of the topics du jour on these boards about approach anxiety is TRE. My thoughts here will be clear. Clear as the blue sky on a cloudless summer day.

I had a really bad AA relapse back in September. Every approach opportunity shot aches through my gut. My progress slowed. I was mentally drained. Initially, I just tried to fight it, but it wasn’t working – it was worsening. I remembered a thread from earlier this year about some thought-provoking practice called TRE and looked back into it. I saw myself in these approach ability archetypes as well, so that became more reason to delve into this peculiar... thing.

Though, skepticism would be too light of a word for my first thoughts toward TRE. I mean, one look at the videos shows us scrawny-looking old people flailing around on the floor like chickens. But hey. Carousel and COCPORN are some pretty smart dudes. Who am I to not give it a whirl?

So give it a whirl I did. And flailing around on the floor like chickens I did.

By the end, I was laughing manically. Like what? No doubt one of the oddest experiences in my life, and I had no idea what to make of it after I finished. But when I went back in the field, I felt like I was a Tribal Elder out there. Gaming girls with no trials… no tribulations… and vastly diminished AA.

Yeah, I’d say that it was worth my time. If you want to test it out, I found this video useful for the actual procedure of doing it. Perhaps the most unexpectedly helpful things in life may not be the most logical, but that’s okay, I think…
I remember reading Carousel's post on the nervous system but at the time I did not realize that AA was a major issue for me. I'm really glad you brought this up. I reread both the posts and realized holy shit, this is exactly what I need to try out. Many times, I'll pass by an attractive girl and think "eh, let it slide. Approach some other girl that's more ideally positioned" And I've always wondered what's going on there. "Why don't I approach her?" I didn't feel any anxiety. But thats clearly approach anxiety. And after reading the articles I've realized it could be because I'm actually freezing up and not realizing it or because it's habitual avoidance. So today I followed the exercises in the TRE video you linked. Admittedly it was a little rushed today because I was going to go out right after. But...it's promising so far. I felt almost no anxiety and no hesitation in my approaches today. I'm very optimistic. And I will be doing these TRE exercises daily in conjunction with some of the other strategies listed by Carousel and COCPORN since I identified with many of the stages in that post.

Yeah, she needs to lighten up! I faced a similar scenario in a two-set last week and ejected too soon. But I'm now thinking that maybe there’s no harm in sticking out these sets for a little bit longer to see what’s up – is she a jerk… or is it a harmless knee-jerk reaction? I’ll be working on finding the real answer in these situations, too, because we already approached so why not?
Yea I was thinking about that. Maybe I would've put my hands up in a nonthreatening way and said "woah didn't mean to startle you haha". I will say though...that is hands down the worst reaction I have ever gotten while daygaming...and yet I found it humorous more than anything else.

Seems like the mask is a keeper stylistically, though! I remember Velasco vouching for floral masks as well.
The floral mask is a thing of beauty, honestly.
Ha, @Dreamer and @terminator92 would take interest here! Both have spoken of their difficulties using eloquent verbals to non-native English speakers. I get it, yeah. But I know that Bacchus has pulled Russian smokeshows fresh off the boat. And Teevster has traversed all across Europe talking about dark femininity, social standards using the metaphor of a house, and the 8 types of orgasms. Actually, what Teevster writes here is just about the same as my experiences so far using verbals:
Great points! So it should be possible to use these advanced verbals on ESL girls
Meanwhile, I’m speaking with the abstractness of Jackson Pollack. So there's some mystery in how to most effectively approach non-native/fluent speakers. Perhaps a simplification could be useful in these scenarios, too, because I think the verbals would still prove fruitful. Like instead of:
"I’ve just realized something fascinating – maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how the temperature… the vibe of the air… can really influence… the way that we feel? Like now… the temperature has cooled… and we’re relaxed as a result… but the brisk air tells us that something exciting is within the realm of possibility... urging us to go on a walk and see what happens... don't you agree?

We can maybe change it to:
“I’ve just realized something interesting – maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how happy we feel when it’s so beautiful outside? Like now… we can feel how the weather is so… nice… relaxing… and calming… I'm on a walk and it’s like everyone is so adventurous today... and the day just keeps getting better and better. Know what I mean?

And then it’s more easily understood, but of course the intention with these is also immersion, too. So we’ve still got our listing, pacing and leading, and tag question. The tag question could be helpful to ensure that she understands, or at least is trying to prove to you that she understands – even if she really doesn’t.

Overall, yeah, just another tool in the toolbox. An arrow in the quiver.
I'm always really impressed and motivated by your verbals when reading your journal. Thanks for the example! This is new territory for me, so I likely didn't do the techniques the justice they deserved haha. But I plan to study your journal and the other resources you mentioned so that I can get more comfortable with them and figure out how to incorporate them into my game. I will test out your modification too, next time I get a chance.

Thanks so much for all your feedback, Lofty! There is a lot for me to reflect on and implement now :)
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
Unfortunately, I broke my nofap streak this morning. Probably the worst time of day to break it. Left the house a little later today so I didn't have much time before it got dark...But I tried out TRE for the first time. I felt some light tremors in my legs and some heavy tremors in chest my when doing one of the back exercises. I felt good today. Hard to explain, but very 'neutral' but in a good way. Kind of how you feel after taking a dump. I only did 2 approaches due to the time constraints.

My Outfit:
Navy blue v-neck, gray jeans, white sneakers, gray facemask. It's finally starting to cool down. Maybe I can actually put on another layer tomorrow


Girl 1:
She had a great ass and was wearing yoga shorts(?) She didn't even look up from her phone though and she had airpods in. So maaaybe she didn't hear or notice me. But I tried to get her attention 3 times. Note, under normal circumstances, if a girl looks engrossed and is wearing airpods, try a light elbow tap and point behind her as if she dropped something. I have one friend who has really extreme tunnel vision like that. So it's plausible she didn't notice me, but it's possible that she's also an expert at using her peripherals and ignoring people. During covid I haven't been doing much kino. Instead, I should've just waited for her to stop at an intersection.


Girl 2:
Me: Hey, have we met before? (I thought she looked familiar and maybe I had already approached her)
Her: No I don't think so
Me: Well I kind of wish we had-
Her: -sorry?
Me: (repeats myself)...because I like your outfit.
Her: thanks (but she does not slow down and does not seem interested in talking)


I think this was just sloppiness on my part. I was feeling zero emotion even though I thought she was attractive. So I think my face looked rather neutral instead of having the slight smile that I usually do. And sometimes, I think I get lazy about it because of the masks. Also, I wasn't really sure what a good compliment would be for her. She looked nice in her dress but I wasn't necessarily feeling moved by that. Also, she looked different from what I was expecting. Still attractive but maybe it registered in my eyes.

Homework for next time:
I didn't make the convo framework today because I was super busy but I'll work on it tomorrow and post it before heading out. The challenge is dealing with the fact that the conversations will not be in a linear format. So I'm trying to think carefully about how to organize it. Leave the house around 4pm to have ample time for approaching. And do TRE in the morning.
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
A college roommate unexpectedly called me today I had a great time catching up with him. As a result I left the house an hour later than I was anticipating. I don't mind though. It was fun and I'm glad he reached out. I bring this up because it's relevant to one of my interactions. I didn't do my TRE exercise yet. I'll be doing it before bed instead. I only got in 2 approaches. No numbers today, but one was a mailing-address close.

My Outfit:
Long-sleeve light gray v-neck, black jeans, gray+white bead bracelet, white sneakers,

Girl 1:hbladydepp Tall Brunette with a nice ass. she was wearing jean shorts and loud cowboy boots. Tons of little tattoos and along her arms and legs.

Me: Hey...I just realized something
Her: Oh?
Me: your sense of style...is like if you were a girl version of Johnny Depp (she actually looks like a mix of Johnny Depp and Ladybird)
Her: hahahahahahahahh
Me: you've got your cowboy boots and your tattoos and rings..
Her: I love it
Me: I like it!
Her: Thank you so much huahahah ha ha
Me: what are you up today?
Her: I'm meeting a friend for coffee haven't seen each other for a couple years since grade school
Me: Oh it's funny you mentioned that missed connection because just this afternoon, I randomly got a phone call from a friend, it was my college roommate who I haven't talked to for
Her:—years
Me:—4 years
Her: Yea!
Me: we had a great conversation, I'm just feeling really good now. And yea, just feeling really good (this was a great opportunity to start being immersive with her. I could say something like: "you know how when you're reconnecting with an old friend and there's that initial mystery of what it'll be like...but the instant you start talking...it's like everything has been reset...and you're gossiping like school girls again. you come out of that experience feeling rejuvenated and happy... And it reminds you, a really good connection is something truly underrated... ")

Her: oh yea!
Here things were about to stall out
Me: I'm guessing you do something....Actually I have no idea. What do you do?
Her: hahaha. Uhh I am a full-time student At...[Place]
Me: Oh so undergrad, I guess?
Her: yea

I ask her what brings her here and it's just the usual covid stuff, classes being online and all that. She asks what I study and I have her guess. She guesses Engineering, so I joke that it's actually Russian Literature and Composition. And I finally tell her what I study as a field and she asks me a lot of questions to figure out the nitty-gritty. She says how she loves that subject area and relates with me about her minor which is close to my subject. I ask her what she wants to do and she said she missed the deadline to take the LSATs so she'll do it later and she's applying to a bunch of different places, sort of hail marry it. So I relate with her saying that's basically what I did for grad school. Just applied to a bunch of places. She asks me where I went for undergrad. And then we talked about her undergrad a bit. (Okay so at this point in the conversation, I was in boring chitchat mode, and I was drawing a blank as to where to go from here, hence the boring chitchat mode)

So I ask her about any hobbies she picked up during Quarantine and she mentioned home renovation, ukalele playing before she got her nails done, reading.

Her: What's your insta or what's your online presence? You're pleasant
Me: I try to stay off instagram
Her: great
Me: But we could do a coffee sometime
Her: Hmm...I leave like...tomorrow...and might never come back...Here's something bold...

She rummages through her purse for a scrap of paper, opens her wallet and finds an old Mexican ticket stub. She starts writing a bunch of numbers..."Oh she's giving me her phone number, cool" I think. "wait she's also writing letters and numbers...what?"

Her: This is my address, write me a letter!
Me: Write you a letter
Her: yea
Me: Interesting!
Her: Have a nice life! cya

The girl knows how to make a statement. And yea...I should've aimed for an SNL instead.

Girl 2: I spotted this woman from afar and thought she'd probably be cute. As I got nearer, I realized she was not that attractive and probably had 15 years on me. Fuck it, her outfit was still bold and I already walked this far to catch up to her, so I went in. but she was on her phone and her english wasn't so good. I guessed that she was Korean. (Note, follow up with these with a story of some sort if they're not giving you anything else to work off of and then a question) She was pleasant and friendly but not giving me too much attention. Not hostile either. If I had plowed enough and or if her English was better, I think I could've gotten her to hook.

hbinterior: I texted her again just to check in after she ghosted. And oddly enough she replied warmly. Still need to brainstorm how to follow up with her. Worst case, I'll ping her occasionally and then try to meet up when I get back.
What I did well:
  1. Creative opener with the brunette
What I could've done better:
  1. I did not get much compliance from her, but she was investing in the conversation herself. I also didn't ask her which way she was headed. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I was thrown off by the fact that we didn't introduce names at first. But that could be completely off.
  2. The actual interaction was fine for my first one of the day but the main thing is I needed to do more approaches.
Homework for next time:
Go out at 4 pm, do 4 approaches. Spend 1hr working on the framework. (think about fall-back topics)
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
So I was working on my conversational framework but I kept getting lost in the complexities of it. I was waay overthinking it so instead I realized: why reinvent the wheel? Just steal :) I remembered Varoon posted this process for day game:
1. Assess your vibe. The better your vibe, the better your approaches. If your vibe is less than ideal, try meditating beforehand or doing something fun to put yourself in a good mood.
2. Approach. I do direct or indirect-direct. Direct has the added affect of setting premise early, but your fundamentals must be on point. Indirect-direct works well too, but
3. Ask what she's doing or where she's going. The sooner you can do this, the sooner you can find out if it's better to go for an instant date or to go for a number grab.
3b. If she doesn't sound like she's free, set a false time constraint and tell her you're on your way somewhere and don't have much time (in some form).
4. Find out at least three things about her. This is a quick deep dive - it could be where she's from, where she works, or something she enjoys doing. The point of doing this is to build a connection quickly.
5. Qualify her at least twice. This shows that you have standards and you're evaluating her rather than hitting on her.
6. The entire time you should also be setting premise and teasing her, making her laugh. Premise means chase framing or the idea of you two getting together (or not) i.e. if she says she's from the East Side, tell her you only date West Side girls, but you might make an exception for her; i.e.2. if you can say something that implies that she's trouble because of something she said, it's a great way to set some premise.
7. Find out where she's going later. This is so you can follow up on that by text in your message the next day.
8. Either invite her out for an instant date, or grab her number because you have to go.
9. Close the approach by setting good emotions and a good tone before she leaves. The close out is very important, as the better tone you set, the more excited she will be to hear from you.

After rereading it, I noticed: it's already similar to what I do and it has some parts that I don't do well enough yet but wanted to incorporate, like qualifying and adding more premise via chase frames. I'm awed that he's able to distill his process down so cleanly because I was getting confused when I tried to distill mine. And for example, step number 7 where you find out what she's doing later so that you can reference that by text the next day is a nice touch and I hadn't consciously thought about it, but yea it is how many of my scheduler texts start out.


Then I read this post by YS. https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...-guide-to-investment-and-qualification.22853/ and it was interesting how he has Investment and Qualifying as a phase in and of itself. And also that he has a boring phase. because when she's getting your scheduler text, she's likely to be in 'boring mode' like at the office or at school, or eating lunch. So by giving her a boring phase, you also remain a 'real person' to her outside of the interaction. This reminds me of when people say that night game numbers are notoriously flakey and one of the theories of why that is, is when you're texting her the next day, she's in her 'boring work mode' while when you met her at night, she was in 'party mode'.

I do want to include a section on compliance and I think this is something I need to understand better. I just go through the motions of pinging for compliance but I don't really 'interpret' it. But also the idea behind that is to escalate compliance and make her more likely to agree and come out on a date. So some things to work on in order for me to use Varoon's process:
  • Qualifying her twice
  • doing one premise statement (we would never get along... or you're trouble... or we could never date...etc...)
This is something I can brainstorm in more detail so that it's easier to come up with on the spot. Next, here is a list of tech that I want to play around with and see how I can fit it in
  • Asking for small favors, building compliance(this I typically sprinkle into the interaction, but inconsistently. Before covid I was pretty good about pinging for compliance early on)
  • Reality Pacing/Immersing
  • SOT
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
I did 4 approaches today, in all different types of scenarios. And I realized that the instances where the girls were ignoring me were likely just because they didn't hear me.

My Outfit:
Floral bomber jacket, white v-neck, gray jeans, bead bracelet, white sneakers. It's still a little bit too warm for a second layer though :(

Girl 1: hbsilver. Asian girl with a fat ass. I complimented her on her coordinated accessories, which were all silver. I ran the framework pretty well with her.

Me: Hey excuse me, I was just walking by from over there and I just thought you had very good accessorizing in your outfit. Yea it's really good like you've got the silver rings and pendant
Her: Oh haha I think it's very simple hahaha
Me: But...it works you've also got the silver bracelet
Her: Oh thank you hahaha. Honestly I just threw anything on for work
Me: Oh what do you do for work?
Her: I'm a receptionist at a law firm
Me: So I can imagine you sitting at the front desk with your accessories and your bling
Her: hahahahaha
Me: So what are you up to? today.
Her: Oh I'm just meeting a friend to catch up
Me: Oh it's funny you mentioned that because—
Me: —Oh my name is Skippy btw
Her: hbsilver
Me:—so yesterday I got a phone call from my old college roommate. I haven't talked to him for years. You know how it's like when you meet with an old friend
Her: yea
Me: And you know how there's that mystery
Her: yea! I think it depends whether it'll be awkward, then comfortable or comfortable all the way
Me: Yea! that's exactly how I was feeling and when we were talking, in a second it was back to everything being the same as usual
Me: Nothing had changed..you know we were just gossiping like school girls
Her: haha
Me:...and it just makes you remember that having a really good connection is something that's just underrated.
Me: ...in life. you just forget that
Her: yea! I could agree with that
Me: Yea and you come out of that interaction feeling buzzed...and just really positive vibes
Her: yea
Me: so yea now I'm just taking a walk
Her: Yea I was going to take a lyft but the wait was not worth it


we talk about transport for a bit

Me: So do you like what you do or is it so so?
Her: Um it's better than my previous job which was customer service so it's more calm. Not many people come by
Me: But you seem like a people person and you have background in customer service so you have to be really patient
Her: yea haha
Me: I like that actually. Because I teach, right. I'm in grad school so I also have to TA classes and you have to learn to be really patient with students as they're trying to understand stuff
Her: yea
Me: So...yea
Her: I think I'm very impatient with students(she said it with a little bit more humor though)
Me: okay so suppose I were to ask you this: So aside from work and hanging out with friends what is something you really enjoy doing?
Her: I just stay at home on my day off. Honestly there's not much for me to do
Me: So then how do you prevent yourself from getting bored?
Her: I just watch tv or talk to my sister.

The topic of school comes up and she's taking a break from school due to the whole covid situation and online classes are hard for her manage. She used to be interested in nursing but didn't like anatomy and so now she's interested in child development.

Me: So you're probably a very nurturing as a person then
Her: idk about that
Me: or are you like the pimp-hand disciplinarian (gestures)
Her: no actually think I'm very childish myself
Me: oh okay see I'm the older child so I'm used to my little sister always bothering me so if you and I were to hangout it would never work out. I'd be like "no stop doing this"
Her: hahaha I'm the older child too but idk I'm just...my personality that's all.
Me: You're just young at heart then
Me: That's cool, maybe when you're 80 you'll still be living it up
She reaches her friend's house:
Me: Okay before you head up, you seem interesting. We should hangout sometime
Her: hmm oh just letting you know I have a boyfriend though
Her: ..nnot in like, I didn't mean to put it out like BOLD as in that way but yea
Me: no worries
Her: just letting you know (nervous laughter)
Me; yea you seem interesting though, how about we exchange numbers then...I'm not looking for a girlfriend
Her: yea...I didn't want to jump to conclusions and seem like that type of thing...but yea!
Me: [puts down her details]
Her: [double checks the number] and when you text me, just say who this is so that I can put it down.
Her: okay nice meeting you haha


Yea so I would've normally just wished her a good day and left it at that when she said she had a boyfriend but I just got a sense like she wanted the interaction to continue at least. And she was still lingering. So I decided to just exchange numbers. I probably should've been more flirty with my tonality and eye contact when I said I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I remember Cientifico has a nice way of dealing with this which involves subtle prizing so I'll reread that and to try it out next time. I also hope she still realizes I'm down to hangout. The problem is I only have 4 days to actually set something up. So this means I'll text her tomorrow and see if she's free these next few days and if not just tell her I'm traveling and we'll be in touch.


Girl 2:
She was wearing all black so I told her she looked like a stylish ninja. She laughed and we exchanged names. But the walk signal changed and she went to go walk. Should've persisted here. damn.


Girl 3:
Tall blonde in yoga pants. She had a fat ass and tanned ankles. She looked probably 3-4 years older than me. At first she passed me and I tried to stop her but she didn't hear me and just kept walking on(I was actually a little bit behind her but since she had just passed me, I thought it'd be okay) But we both stop at the intersection so I make sure she can see me and wave to her. She takes off her airpods(so earlier she just hadn't heard me). I tell her she looks like she's glowing. But she just thanks me and wishes me a good day and walks off.


Girl 4:
Stunning Korean girl.Tanned. Hips swaying. Stylish. Nice Ass. We crossed paths and I tried to do a front stop at the last minute, but I don't think she noticed. So I walked back and told her she was gorgeous. This time she noticed and listened but she was walking to meet her bf. Note to self: don't be in such a rush to approach a girl you find gorgeous. Slow it down.


She had a nice yellow sweater or was it lime green? Maybe I could do some playful analogy with fruit. "That's the color all bananas aspire to be"—-but her english wasn't great. So I don't know how it would've done.

What I did well:
  1. Qualified hbsilver
  2. set premise with hbsilver
  3. Walked back to talk to girl 4. Rejection is better than regret
  4. I approached 4 girls despite leaving the house late, and was back home within 70 minutes! (and then spent 2 hours writing up the field report)
What I could've done better:
  1. I should've persisted with girl 2 and walked with her. I didn't because I was actually walking in the opposite direction. But this is a situation where you need to walk with her until she crosses the street and then get her to stop for 2 min. Because if the walk signal turns, she's going to be feeling antsy.
  2. 'Interesting' is not the best qualifier here, because that's not really what I like about her. I should've said "I like your vibe, it's very pleasant and good-natured". I guess I just used interesting b/c it was the first thing that came to mind.
Homework for next time:
Approach 4 girls using the framework and for any girls that hook, do one premise statement.
 
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terminator92

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
88
@Skippy
I am no expert. But I did two years straight of this form of "Hey you are cute (insert any specific compliment)" type daygame. These are just some observations I want to share with you from my experience because I feel I should have stopped that and diversified my Game way earlier. If they resonate with you, you can heed them. What I am going to write here is something I wish someone had told me during those initial years. So here we go:

Girl 1: hbsilver. Asian girl with a fat ass. I complimented her on her coordinated accessories, which were all silver. I ran the framework pretty well with her.

Me: Hey excuse me, I was just walking by from over there and I just thought you had very good accessorizing in your outfit. Yea it's really good like you've got the silver rings and pendant
Her: Oh haha I think it's very simple hahaha
Me: But...it works you've also got the silver bracelet
Her: Oh thank you hahaha. Honestly I just threw anything on for work
Here you start with a compliment (statement of interest), she down plays it, you compliment her again (statement of interest again), she down plays it again and tells you she just threw something on and then with the next question you go into seeking rapport. In my opinion the girl kept downplaying it because she does not really believe she has earned it and then you are seeking rapport with her so she knows that you are already won over. Don't worry I have done this same thing with hundreds of girls but now lets just consider this alternative:

You: Excuse me! I just saw you and I had to say you have the second best accessories I have seen on anyone today. (push-pull opener)

HB: Hahaha oh really? And who was the best?

You: Me of course! (Humor) (Even funnier if you really don't have good accessories) (shows you are a chill funny guy and not a weirdo)

HB: Hahaha!

You: It's good that you laughed! Shows you have a sense of humor in addition to being kind of cute. (qualification + push pull compliment)

HB: Hahahaha. Thanks I guess. (Thinks: wow this guy is funny, confident and a bit cocky. Who is this guy?)

You: I notice you have a ring on your middle finger. You know I had read that you can predict someone's personality traits by which finger they put rings on. And judging by the fact that it is on your middle finger............. (insert cold read about her personality from the old school PUA Rings Routine)

HB: (maybe laughs) (maybe stunned if you manage to get it sort of right, you can insert a truism which she would definitely agree with) Blahblahblah (End result she is fascinated, curious but bottom line you stand out)

You: (Qualifying question)

HB: Blahblahblah (See if she qualifies)

You: (If she does qualify, get into comfort where she works, what is she upto etc or maybe qualify her some more) (If she does not qualify cut the thread and go back to your next pre-thought out fascinating topic you have ready to talk about.)

(Basically this is Game, you are fascinating her, making her laugh, qualifying her, capturing her attention and most importantly DISPLAYING YOUR PERSONALITY not merely hitting on her like all the other guys. In your situation if she does not dig your initial look and vibe, she shuts you off, here she has more to go by. You are buying yourself time and showing her your personality)


I used to do the same thing as what you wrote, now I am learning to do what I just wrote. Preparing some material of my own and borrowing from other PUAs as well. Writing down witty one liners, jokes, things I have said in the past which have made people laugh, jokes I hear from stand up comedians etc. Having this arsenal sets you apart and boosts your confidence as well when you are going in to approach as you know you have a wide array of tools that she will find intriguing, funny etc instead of worrying whether your mind will magically come up with something cool to say in that moment. And when you have these things locked and loaded, you can concentrate on eye-contact, your tonality and all the other good stuff and can also sprinkle in spontaneous observations, and other small talk as your brain is calmer and you know if your brain goes blank you have trusted material you could use to continue the conversation. Let me know if this helps. And I am not criticizing you by any means, I am just telling you something I would have loved to hear two years ago but I did not as I was blinding following the Youtube daygame guys and trying to jump in front of girls and persist and chase them and try to get their numbers.

(Btw: the first two lines are from a PUA called Beckster those are not my lines.)
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
I am no expert. But I did two years straight of this form of "Hey you are cute (insert any specific compliment)" type daygame. These are just some observations I want to share with you from my experience because I feel I should have stopped that and diversified my Game way earlier. If they resonate with you, you can heed them. What I am going to write here is something I wish someone had told me during those initial years. So here we go:
I can see the appeal of diversifying a bit and trying a different style of openers. Off the top of my head, I remember one interaction where the girl smiled and piped up when I said 'hey' but then when I told her I thought "she looked adorable", her face fell a little. And many more interactions where a compliment just fell flat. So this does indeed resonate with me and I would like to experiment with it as well and use it to reduce the blowout rate.

Here you start with a compliment (statement of interest), she down plays it, you compliment her again (statement of interest again), she down plays it again and tells you she just threw something on and then with the next question you go into seeking rapport. In my opinion the girl kept downplaying it because she does not really believe she has earned it and then you are seeking rapport with her so she knows that you are already won over. Don't worry I have done this same thing with hundreds of girls but now lets just consider this alternative:
Yea, that's a good observation. she was not accepting the compliment and so I came across as chasing and didn't realize it in the field. I'm not sure how to troubleshoot that without causing the entire interaction to unravel. Maybe I could've screened her after that. I think she could tell it wasn't sincere. She seemed a little on the insecure side in general. Since the main thing is, I noticed her figure and thought it looked good and couldn't think of something specific to compliment her on. I was about to go with something generic but then I noticed the coordinated accessories.
You: Excuse me! I just saw you and I had to say you have the second best accessories I have seen on anyone today. (push-pull opener)

HB: Hahaha oh really? And who was the best?

You: Me of course! (Humor) (Even funnier if you really don't have good accessories) (shows you are a chill funny guy and not a weirdo)

HB: Hahaha!
This push-pull opener looks interesting
You: Excuse me! I just saw you and I had to say you have the second best accessories I have seen on anyone today. (push-pull opener)

HB: Hahaha oh really? And who was the best?

You: Me of course! (Humor) (Even funnier if you really don't have good accessories) (shows you are a chill funny guy and not a weirdo)

HB: Hahaha!

You: It's good that you laughed! Shows you have a sense of humor in addition to being kind of cute. (qualification + push pull compliment)

HB: Hahahaha. Thanks I guess. (Thinks: wow this guy is funny, confident and a bit cocky. Who is this guy?)

You: I notice you have a ring on your middle finger. You know I had read that you can predict someone's personality traits by which finger they put rings on. And judging by the fact that it is on your middle finger............. (insert cold read about her personality from the old school PUA Rings Routine)

HB: (maybe laughs) (maybe stunned if you manage to get it sort of right, you can insert a truism which she would definitely agree with) Blahblahblah (End result she is fascinated, curious but bottom line you stand out)

You: (Qualifying question)

HB: Blahblahblah (See if she qualifies)

You: (If she does qualify, get into comfort where she works, what is she upto etc or maybe qualify her some more) (If she does not qualify cut the thread and go back to your next pre-thought out fascinating topic you have ready to talk about.)

(Basically this is Game, you are fascinating her, making her laugh, qualifying her, capturing her attention and most importantly DISPLAYING YOUR PERSONALITY not merely hitting on her like all the other guys. In your situation if she does not dig your initial look and vibe, she shuts you off, here she has more to go by. You are buying yourself time and showing her your personality)
Neat conversational framework to try out. love it

I used to do the same thing as what you wrote, now I am learning to do what I just wrote. Preparing some material of my own and borrowing from other PUAs as well. Writing down witty one liners, jokes, things I have said in the past which have made people laugh, jokes I hear from stand up comedians etc. Having this arsenal sets you apart and boosts your confidence as well when you are going in to approach as you know you have a wide array of tools that she will find intriguing, funny etc instead of worrying whether your mind will magically come up with something cool to say in that moment. And when you have these things locked and loaded, you can concentrate on eye-contact, your tonality and all the other good stuff and can also sprinkle in spontaneous observations, and other small talk as your brain is calmer and you know if your brain goes blank you have trusted material you could use to continue the conversation. Let me know if this helps. And I am not criticizing you by any means, I am just telling you something I would have loved to hear two years ago but I did not as I was blinding following the Youtube daygame guys and trying to jump in front of girls and persist and chase them and try to get their numbers.
Great idea! I started to make a list of banter lines, chase frames, and creative openers that I have used in the past. I'll add to this list as I get more insights.

Thanks @terminator92 this was super helpful!
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
Quickly skimmed Terminator's post before I headed out so I thought I'd try some push-pull openers. I read it more carefully after I got home and will work on implementing the ideas better and experimenting with them.

My Outfit:
Gray long-sleeve v-neck, black jeans, white sneakers. gray and white bead bracelet.

Girl 1:
Mexican girl, I approached her and was going to open her with something about her black and gray outfit and was going to say it was the second-best black and gray outfit I've seen all day. She had no clue what I was saying so I switched to Spanish, but my Spanish is mediocre. I should've just whipped out the google translate. Also, she was stopping to talk to me and to try and figure out what I was saying so this isn't an interaction that I should've just dropped like that. But the language barrier made things a little hard.

Girl 2:
Girl wearing all black. She was walking towards me. I stopped her and I told her her outfit was the second-best all-black outfit I've seen all day. She said thanks but didn't ask who had the best outfits and seemed a little confused but she did initially stop for a second. (the best black outfits were worn by the ninjas that ambushed me this morning, in case you're wondering). (So I realized that this was not the best time for this type of opener because I stopped her in a high effort way, I should've just gone direct and then started screening+qualifying) So she was about to keep walking but I asked her if she has a couple minutes or if she's in a big rush. I suggest walking with her for a bit and (going the opposite direction as myself). The convo was awkward and boring and in the middle she got a call and she was periodically texting. I called it quits as I reached the end of the street. With this girl, I needed to build similarity because she lit up when she realized we go to the same school. And when we talked about her undergrad. And she asked me if I live around the area. But that was mainly it, I think. We talked a little bit about zoom, I could try some reality pacing because it doesn't seem like anything was sticking.

Girl 3:
She blatantly ignored me. I stood near her while we were stopped at the intersection but the light changed and she walked too fast so we reach the other intersection. I was on my phone but from my peripherals, I could tell she snuck a glance. Then I waved to her to try to get her attention, but she pretended not to see me and slightly turned her head as if I didn't exist.

Girl 4:
We were walking side by side and I opened with "hey I just realized something" and told her that she looked like she had just crushed a corporate presentation. She said "haha I wish" I learn she works in banking and she was waiting for her bf to pick her up. I mentioned that I was going for a walk and that's about it.

Another girl I wanted to approach with by telling her she had the second-most colorful outfit and follow up with saying mine was the most colorful
What I did well:
  1. Tried out push-pull openers and got the creative juices flowing
  2. Approached 4 girls pretty quickly(only took about 70 min)
What I could've done better:
  1. More persistence with the mexican girl, move her first and whip out the translator.
  2. With ESL girls, don't try to be overly witty or bantery. Instead focus on eye contact and slowing down your speech.
  3. I didn't build compliance or screen Girl 2. And it looked bad that I went out of my way to walk with her. Basically negative compliance. I should've just told her to stop and talk after we walked a block
  4. I didn't try to set premise, which was my hw that day because I didn't feel like any of the girls were invested enough. I also wasn't sure how I'd sprinkle it into the convo. Here's an idea though: with girl 2 when she said we went to the same school I would say "oh it's a good thing you dont go to [rival school] we could never date"
Homework for next time:
Do 4 approaches. For now, practice screening and qualifying and setting a little bit of premise. So main goal: screen+qualify or set premise with one girl. And for my openers look for opportunities to try something unique.
 

terminator92

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
88
Background
Quickly skimmed Terminator's post before I headed out so I thought I'd try some push-pull openers. I read it more carefully after I got home and will work on implementing the ideas better and experimenting with them.

My Outfit:
Gray long-sleeve v-neck, black jeans, white sneakers. gray and white bead bracelet.

Girl 1:
Mexican girl, I approached her and was going to open her with something about her black and gray outfit and was going to say it was the second-best black and gray outfit I've seen all day. She had no clue what I was saying so I switched to Spanish, but my Spanish is mediocre. I should've just whipped out the google translate. Also, she was stopping to talk to me and to try and figure out what I was saying so this isn't an interaction that I should've just dropped like that. But the language barrier made things a little hard.

Girl 2:
Girl wearing all black. She was walking towards me. I stopped her and I told her her outfit was the second-best all-black outfit I've seen all day. She said thanks but didn't ask who had the best outfits and seemed a little confused but she did initially stop for a second. (the best black outfits were worn by the ninjas that ambushed me this morning, in case you're wondering). (So I realized that this was not the best time for this type of opener because I stopped her in a high effort way, I should've just gone direct and then started screening+qualifying) So she was about to keep walking but I asked her if she has a couple minutes or if she's in a big rush. I suggest walking with her for a bit and (going the opposite direction as myself). The convo was awkward and boring and in the middle she got a call and she was periodically texting. I called it quits as I reached the end of the street. With this girl, I needed to build similarity because she lit up when she realized we go to the same school. And when we talked about her undergrad. And she asked me if I live around the area. But that was mainly it, I think. We talked a little bit about zoom, I could try some reality pacing because it doesn't seem like anything was sticking.

Girl 3:
She blatantly ignored me. I stood near her while we were stopped at the intersection but the light changed and she walked too fast so we reach the other intersection. I was on my phone but from my peripherals, I could tell she snuck a glance. Then I waved to her to try to get her attention, but she pretended not to see me and slightly turned her head as if I didn't exist.

Girl 4:
We were walking side by side and I opened with "hey I just realized something" and told her that she looked like she had just crushed a corporate presentation. She said "haha I wish" I learn she works in banking and she was waiting for her bf to pick her up. I mentioned that I was going for a walk and that's about it.

Another girl I wanted to approach with by telling her she had the second-most colorful outfit and follow up with saying mine was the most colorful
What I did well:
  1. Tried out push-pull openers and got the creative juices flowing
  2. Approached 4 girls pretty quickly(only took about 70 min)
What I could've done better:
  1. More persistence with the mexican girl, move her first and whip out the translator.
  2. With ESL girls, don't try to be overly witty or bantery. Instead focus on eye contact and slowing down your speech.
  3. I didn't build compliance or screen Girl 2. And it looked bad that I went out of my way to walk with her. Basically negative compliance. I should've just told her to stop and talk after we walked a block
  4. I didn't try to set premise, which was my hw that day because I didn't feel like any of the girls were invested enough. I also wasn't sure how I'd sprinkle it into the convo. Here's an idea though: with girl 2 when she said we went to the same school I would say "oh it's a good thing you dont go to [rival school] we could never date"
Homework for next time:
Do 4 approaches. For now, practice screening and qualifying and setting a little bit of premise. So main goal: screen+qualify or set premise with one girl. And for my openers look for opportunities to try something unique.
Oh by the way don't forget to say it with a big grin or smile so that she knows you are joking. I approach ESL girls too. Pretty much all of them are ESL since I live in Central Europe. So I run into girls not understanding me many a time. But while using this opener, delivery is everything I usually say:

"Hey, (pause) (big ass smile on your face, like you are waiting to tell her the funniest joke in the world) I just wanted to tell you (pause again, if done right she should already be smiling by now) you have the second best shoes I have seen today (you still have a huge smile or even break into a laugh).
You are a cheeky funny guy so you have to embody that in your facial expressions. If you deliver it like a normal, I thought you were cute opener nervously, it won't work.

Secondly try out these openers with stationary girls first, you are making it 3 x times harder on yourself when you approach walking sets. I think even @Lofty advised you above to concentrate on stationary girls. This fascination with walking sets spread like a virus with the London Daygame guys because it was a way to embolden themselves to do their direct uncalibrated approaches and still have no consequences if they creep the girl out as the girl will simply walk off and they won't ever see her again, so no damage done. Its another form of hiding from your real fear of engaging in conversations with a girl.

I seriously encourage you to approach stationary girls. Practice this opener on 10 (more like 50 to be honest) stationary girls first to get the delivery down. Just practice the opener, don't worry about the rest of the interaction. Your goal is to just get this opener down, your working on this opener that's your goal. Not getting the girl. If it goes well and something happens its just a bonus.

You know Mystery talks about this, and I have been guilty of this as well. He says there are 3 stages in the journey of pickup.
1. Skill set development 2. Skill set use 3. Getting the girl.

But unfortunately we all jump directly to Stage 3 right off the bat. You might get a girl the first day you approach but that should not be your objective. Despite being into Game for over 2 years now, I humbly tell myself that at this moment I am in stage 1 as I am changing my style and imbibing new concepts so I don't measure my success now when I am trying out new stuff on whether I got a result. I am just focusing on getting the delivery of a new opener down or trying out a push-pull line or telling a new story etc. I highly suggest you imbibe that attitude as well. If anything it will bring you more success as you will be non-needy and concentrating on your delivery and practice rather than getting the girl.

Also do tell me why you are nervous about talking to stationary girls while being okay with attempting to stop moving girls?
 
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Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Oh by the way don't forget to say it with a big grin or smile so that she knows you are joking. I approach ESL girls too. Pretty much all of them are ESL since I live in Central Europe. So I run into girls not understanding me many a time. But while using this opener, delivery is everything I usually say:

"Hey, (pause) (big ass smile on your face, like you are waiting to tell her the funniest joke in the world) I just wanted to tell you (pause again, if done right she should already be smiling by now) you have the second best shoes I have seen today (you still have a huge smile or even break into a laugh).
You are a cheeky funny guy so you have to embody that in your facial expressions. If you deliver it like a normal, I thought you were cute opener nervously, it won't work.
Okay, I'll work on that delivery. These days I'm approaching with a mask on so I'm thinking I'll also be sure to smile with my eyes for now and put my chin up in a sort of cocky manner. When the masks are off and she can see my face, I also want to try the expression with my mouth where it looks like I'm trying to hold a smile in, because mirror neurons will cause her to break out into a smile. Also, a question: What do you do if she doesn't ask who is the best?

Secondly try out these openers with stationary girls first, you are making it 3 x times harder on yourself when you approach walking sets. I think even @Lofty advised you above to concentrate on stationary girls. This fascination with walking sets spread like a virus with the London Daygame guys because it was a way to embolden themselves to do their direct uncalibrated approaches and still have no consequences if they creep the girl out as the girl will simply walk off and they won't ever see her again, so no damage done. Its another form of hiding from your real fear of engaging in conversations with a girl.

I seriously encourage you to approach stationary girls. Practice this opener on 10 (more like 50 to be honest) stationary girls first to get the delivery down. Just practice the opener, don't worry about the rest of the interaction. Your goal is to just get this opener down, your working on this opener that's your goal. Not getting the girl. If it goes well and something happens its just a bonus.
Okay noted. I'll focus only on stationary sets for the time being, and I'll practice this opener on 10 stationary girls first. Thanks for this suggestion, I was starting to get confused about what homework to give myself and I was going in many different directions.

You know Mystery talks about this, and I have been guilty of this as well. He says there are 3 stages in the journey of pickup.
1. Skill set development 2. Skill set use 3. Getting the girl.

But unfortunately we all jump directly to Stage 3 right off the bat. You might get a girl the first day you approach but that should not be your objective. Despite being into Game for over 2 years now, I humbly tell myself that at this moment I am in stage 1 as I am changing my style and imbibing new concepts so I don't measure my success now when I am trying out new stuff on whether I got a result. I am just focusing on getting the delivery of a new opener down or trying out a push-pull line or telling a new story etc. I highly suggest you imbibe that attitude as well. If anything it will bring you more success as you will be non-needy and concentrating on your delivery and practice rather than getting the girl.
Makes sense. Sounds like what they recommend for deliberate practice as well

Also do tell me why you are nervous about talking to stationary girls while being okay with attempting to stop moving girls?
Yea so to clarify, the only type of opening which I'm fully comfortable with, is approaching girls from the side and walking alongside them if they seem receptive. Sometimes, they'll stop on their own but I don't try to stop them. The interaction ends when we end up going separate ways.

When girls are walking toward me, I would turn around as they pass me (do a heel spin) and then approach them from the side. I would get decent results from this before covid, and actually, in a large chunk of cases, the girls would stop automatically. Finally, if they're walking very fast towards me I would just policeman stop them, but I would rarely do that. These two types of approaches I do less often, and usually pass up many opportunities.

I don't do the kind of front-stop that the london daygamers advocate. I don't have a plan for getting them to stop, either. I kind of just wing that part, unfortunately. Depending on how receptive they are.

I guess the reasons why I have more approach anxiety with stationary girls are:
  • There's a smaller window of time for me to think of an opener and usually, I don't think of what to say quickly enough by the time I've walked by her. (especially if she's only mildly cute and/or has nothing remarkable about her outfit)
  • Typically more onlookers, people standing nearby.
Not saying these are good excuses by any means, just my guesses as to why I don't do more of those. I will be actively addressing this problem though.
Why I tend to approach more moving girls:
  • Walking behind her for a bit helps me to manage my AA and get myself in the headspace to approach. Kind of like how you wade into a pool first before submerging yourself completely.
  • Sometimes, noticing her ass gives me that extra motivation to jump in there. Chase mentioned this in some article and I had a similar observation
  • Since we're walking, I have more time to think of a good opener
  • I can wait for when there are no people within earshot
  • usually more common
Again, these are just my guesses as to why I do moving sets more, not justifications. I agree that I need to address this deficiency.
Thanks @terminator92!
 
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Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background
Okay so I'm going to approach 10 stationary girls with a push-pull opener. I only did one approach today b/c it was a little bit dead during the hours I went and I didn't have much time

My Outfit
bomber, white v-neck, gray jeans, white sneakers, gray+white bead bracelet

Girl 1: She was at an intersection so I got her attention. At first, she didn't notice me(another girl ignoring me??) but then she got surprised when she finally noticed me. I told her she had the second-best bracelet I've seen. She's a little flustered but says thanks and smiles. So I follow by saying it's second only to mine. She chuckles. "It's good that you laughed, shows you have a sense of humor" and I introduce myself.

This was the first time I approached a girl who studies the same field as me. It was funny watching her try and explain what she does in vague, watered-down language. Instead of jumping right out and saying "I study X too!", I just asked pointed questions and surprised her. she would turn and hold strong eye contact with me while waiting at intersections. And otherwise, we walked down the street together. We talked about our field for a bit but then moved off that topic to what she likes to do in her free time. I qualified her on having some artistic tastes as well because her nails were really well done. But I didn't quite get to screening her.

I talked about travel after finding out where she's from. And did the usual travel+freedom-of-identity gambit. She doesn't say anything to it, so I add on do you feel that too? She says her family moved together so they brought their identities with them but when she visited other states in the US she met other people too. Occasionally I'd let the conversation die out so that she could pick it up, and she would.

It turns out we both live close by, so as we neared my house. I pointed it out to her and told her I was heading that way. Before we parted ways I suggested coffee sometime but she hesitated and said she had a boyfriend.
What I did well:
  1. Did a push pull opener
  2. Actively qualified her
  3. Looked for ways to get compliance
What I could've done better:
  1. I should've taken more advantage of the fact that she was giving me such good eye contact. Sometimes I did return the ec but I did not make it particularly sexual, except for one instance.
  2. I could've opened her sooner at another intersection, but I couldn't think of what to say. Thankfully I noticed the bracelet as I got closer. But if the item is too specific, one thing I realized is to generalize it a bit. So for example, gray boots—> Shoes instead.
  3. I could've looked for more sets. There was another really attractive girl that stopped at an intersection but it was too sudden and she started moving again.
  4. Could've followed up my qualifying of her sense of humor with telling her she's "kinda cute"
  5. Could've set some premise
Homework for next time:
Keep doing the push pull approaches on stationary girls!
 
Last edited:

terminator92

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
88
Background
Okay so I'm going to approach 10 stationary girls with a push-pull opener. I only did one approach today b/c it was a little bit dead during the hours I went and I didn't have much time

My Outfit
bomber, white v-neck, gray jeans, white sneakers, gray+white bead bracelet

Girl 1: She was at an intersection so I got her attention. At first, she didn't notice me(another girl ignoring me??) but then she got surprised when she finally noticed me. I told her she had the second-best bracelet I've seen. She's a little flustered but says thanks and smiles. So I follow by saying it's second only to mine. She chuckles. "It's good that you laughed, shows you have a sense of humor" and I introduce myself.

This was the first time I approached a girl who studies the same field as me. It was funny watching her try and explain what she does in vague, watered-down language. Instead of jumping right out and saying "I study X too!", I just asked pointed questions and surprised her. she would turn and hold strong eye contact with me while waiting at intersections. And otherwise, we walked down the street together. We talked about our field for a bit but then moved off that topic to what she likes to do in her free time. I qualified her on having some artistic tastes as well because her nails were really well done. But I didn't quite get to screening her.

I talked about travel after finding out where she's from. And did the usual travel+freedom-of-identity gambit. She doesn't say anything to it, so I add on do you feel that too? She says her family moved together so they brought their identities with them but when she visited other states in the US she met other people too. Occasionally I'd let the conversation die out so that she could pick it up, and she would.

It turns out we both live close by, so as we neared my house. I pointed it out to her and told her I was heading that way. Before we parted ways I suggested coffee sometime but she hesitated and said she had a boyfriend.
What I did well:
  1. Did a push pull opener
  2. Actively qualified her
  3. Looked for ways to get compliance
What I could've done better:
  1. I should've taken more advantage of the fact that she was giving me such good eye contact. Sometimes I did return the ec but I did not make it particularly sexual, except for one instance.
  2. I could've opened her sooner at another intersection, but I couldn't think of what to say. Thankfully I noticed the bracelet as I got closer. But if the item is too specific, one thing I realized is to generalize it a bit. So for example, gray boots—> Shoes instead.
  3. I could've looked for more sets. There was another really attractive girl that stopped at an intersection but it was too sudden and she started moving again.
  4. Could've followed up my qualifying of her sense of humor with telling her she's "kinda cute"
  5. Could've set some premise
Homework for next time:
Keep doing the push pull approaches on stationary girls!
Great job. Remember when trying anything new your results go down before they go up. And we should talk more privately. And on your journal we can just do Field Reports and comments on that instead of flooding it with everything else. I have messaged you privately. You can reply to me there and we can talk more :)
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
I just got back from traveling and will be able to resume approaches for another week or so before I leave for the break. Here's what's up with some old leads

hbphysical: She messaged me while I was gone but then ignored my text, probably she was horny but then lost interest again when I said I was out of town. I could send her a standard reconnecting text or I could try a video message, although it would have to be over sms, which might not go through. Also an option would be to call her, but she didn't pick up the last time I tried.

hbinterior: She was warm over text before I left, but I didn't ping her throughout my absence. So I'll send her a standard reconnect text and ask her when she's free for coffee

Lemon: I'm puzzled about this one. She came over 4 times for sex, we even did anal, she was the one messaging me to hangout the last two times, and I'm mostly sure I took her virginity, she was telling her friends about me, and future projecting months in advance as if to assume we'd see each other in January. But...I haven't heard from her at all and it's been over a month. I haven't texted her either because I'm trying to use Pablo's silent text method. Still, I would've thought she would reach out some more given how she was pretty proactive about texting me before.

If I were to analyze this through value vs attainability, it's probably an attainability problem. Given the age-difference and how we've met, I imagine my lover-value to her would be sky-high. I don't think she sees me as bf material because she was the one who clarified to me that she just wants it to be casual. Now the question is...do I cave and text her or do I wait it out for months on end? I know Pablo says in his article that if she stops contacting you, it probably means she's gotten in a relationship and you have to keep the number of contacting attempts to zero to have a chance of hooking up with her again after she gets out of it. But...given the covid situation, it just feels unlikely that she met another guy right after me...? And the curiosity is eating away at me. Also, a possibility is that I wasn't warm enough in person and so didn't use the silent text system correctly.
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
I went out today, but did not spend much time trying to approach. . Saw a couple of cuties. the AA is back, but it will be overtaken by lust very soon.

I did not text hbphysical, just yet. I think I'll send her a video message, but I'm not sure what I'll put in it. I want to actually send a picture of a pet cat that I spent a lot of time with. it worked well with the other two girls, but thats not a video message. I think theres a reasonably good chance she'll reply the standard reconnect text anyway just b/c it's got an adorable cat in it. But...I still don't know how to convert that into a date since we haven't really talked much other than trade numbers. She knows practically nothing about me other than what I do.

I texted hbinterior. she was super warm in her initial text but has not seen or replied to my follow up, which was understandably mediocre:
me: Hey hbinterior hope things have been going well for you lately! I'm back from [place] now and I made a new friend there :) [close up of a cat wishing me good morning] let me know whats new with you
her: hey skippy!! how is it going! welcome back to [place] :) Oh what is your name cutie~ (referring to the cat)
her: today we have a new co-worker this is new haha
her: how was there?
me: haha her name is [name]. do you like pets?
me: [place] is like the suburbs. it was chill and you have to drive to get around. I was mostly at home.

I texted Lemon and she was receptive, but something's going on...
me: hey Lemon, thought I'd drop you a message because it's been a long minute since we spoke. Hope everything is good/not too crazy with you . I got back from [place] recently and I made a new friend there [close up of the cat wishing me good morning] let me know whats new with you
her: I'm actually very happy right now because my boss texted me I have the week for thanksgiving! so I'ma take advantage of it by catching up on classes and even getting a little ahead to prepare for finals. How was your trip to [place]? Also that is a very precious cat. what's their name?
me: yep that's how Thanksgiving break should be. to catch up with classes and have the occasional dalliance with a lover ;) (soft close) [place] was peaceful. it's basically like the suburbs and you have to drive around everywhere. I stayed at home mostly and played with the cat. her name is [cat] and she likes to inspect my cooking! (I mentioned the stayed at home part so she doesn't worry that I caught covid or something. she did not want to travel with her parents b/c of that.)
her: The cat inspecting your food is soo cute! she knew you're a great cook. being in [place] sounds like a good place to go to take a break from the loud/busy city. I agree that thanksgiving is for catching up with classes and the occasional dalliance with a lover, I definitely need it ;) (receptive to the soft close)
me: yes, I bet you've been working hard these past few weeks. when's good to hang out? you can also inspect my cooking if you promise to keep your paws away from the flame.
her: I promise to keep my paws away from the flame but I can't promise to keep them away from you. unfortunately, I don't know when I would be able to go, I don't think I can meet this week :(
me: bummer, lol. no worries, let me know if you happen to find time. if not, thats okay. I'll be here until the 3rd. (I added the bit at the front because my guess was she would be teetering on auto rejection so showing a tiny bit of disappointment would be good)
her
: I will let you know :)

Curious why she can't make it this week, most likely it's b/c she doesn't have a ride. but since I didn't hear from her for so long, I wonder if some bad shit's gone down on her end and she's overwhelmed.
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
211
Background

Getting back after a 1-month break. I hadn't orgasmed since Saturday. I glance outside the window and notice a gorgeous girl walking by, wearing all black with black hair and sandals. I feel the desire and quickly get changed to see if I can catch her in time. I step outside, but she's nowhere in sight by then.

My Outfit:

F-bomb jacket. gray jeans, white sneakers.

Girl 1: Notice a cute black girl by the intersection. I wave to catch her attention and she removes her earphones.

Me: hey I just realized something...That is the second-best pink jacket I've seen all-day she says thanks and compliments me on my jacket too. I ask her where she's headed and she says shes going to the bank. I wish her a good day b/c I'm heading in a different direction.

The mistake is that I started talking to her after the walk sign had come on. So this wasn't really a stationary approach. Also, I don't know if the 'second-best' part is really registering with girls. They never ask who is the best...but I need to do more of these approaches before I can get a good idea of how they're responding.

I went back and reread Terminator's advice on this opening, and I realized I need to really make it clear, and that I need to work on the delivery some more and really think it through a little bit so that I'm not winging it so much. So I'll practice it a little bit before I go out, and I'll come up with 3-4 example s for different scenarios. Two things that I'm trying to figure out:

  1. What to do if she just says thanks and doesn't ask who is the best
  2. What to actually say about who is the best.

What if I just leave it at second best? and don't bother to clarify

Girl 2: (did this approach 11/25, aka today)

She looked like she was working at a pharmacy and I noticed her perky ass as she walked by. She stops at the intersection and I catch up to her. She was engrossed in a youtube video on her phone.

Me: Hey, I just realized something...That is the second-best all-blue outfit I have seen on anyone today.
Her: Thanks
Me: Second only to myself, of course (gestures at my outfit. I'm not wearing anything blue)
Her: Of course! (playing along) (she wordlessly shows me her phone, I don't know why)
Me: I'm glad you have a sense of humor, (signal changes, we start walking) what are you up to today?
Her: Just buying lunch
Me: Supporting the local restaurants, I see.
Her: yes (at this point she was back to her youtube video)
Me: Okay take care!

She was walking weirdly. First, she was on my left side, but it seemed like she was reluctant to walk with me when the signal changed and she switched to walking to my right side and did not match my pace, and kind of just hung back. Maybe I should've said "well, it's good you have a sense of humor, you're kind of cute actually" And maybe I should try out exchanging names sooner.

Girl 3
I did see the girl from earlier but she disappeared into an apartment building before I was able to catch up to her.

Girl 4
One girl got out of a car to drop something off so I waited a bit for her to come back but she ran back into her car again. I've missed a lot of girls this way and I could've approached another girl who was walking in a different direction instead, but I lost both of them in the process. In reality, I probably could've caught up to the other girl and opened her if she stops at an intersection. Note to self: Along this specific street, be aware that the window of opportunity is very low for these kinds of approaches.

What I did well:
  1. Did an approach as soon as I got out of the house
  2. I have a better idea now on how to run these openers.
What I could've done better:
  1. I need to get more volume in now.
  2. I got tired and feel completely drained right now. I only took 8000 steps though. I have to remember to either build up to it, if it's been a while, or stay active if I'm going to be away from the field. I was hitting the gym actually but I wasn't doing much cardio. So the next best thing is to make sure to get enough sleep.
Homework for next time:
Open with "that is the second best xyz I have seen on anyone today." If she doesn't ask just say "second only to me, of course :D ...but that can't be helped". Qualify her on her sense of humor, then exchange names and do a cold read. I also really liked this post by Chase: https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...ary-i-dont-enjoy-it-at-all.23805/#post-125726 and I want to make that a hw assignment at some point.
 
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